


Stars in a Constellation

by MissTaken4Mad



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Gay, Humor, Other, Practically everyone is gay, Romance, So I guess that makes it pretty realistic for SU, University, human!AU, super gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-10-13 10:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10512243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTaken4Mad/pseuds/MissTaken4Mad
Summary: People are like stars in a constellation, connected by the invisible lines of circumstance, friendship, fate, love, even hatred...where it gets tricky is distinguishing where one line ends and another begins. Amethyst Rivera has been in love with Pearl Blanche since before she knew what love was, and Pearl, as the world knows, has only ever had eyes for Rose Quartz. How could that possibly change? Well, who knows what may happen at university... Also posted on fanfiction.net.





	1. the mandatory backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first one.

They met in middle school.

Well, Amethyst was in middle school. Pearl was a high school freshman, and at the time, it had seemed like a thousand years of difference.

Pearl had been hired as Amethyst’s tutor as a part of some BS inter-school community move by the superintendent, some pompous, red-faced windbag called Bill Dewey. Amethyst didn’t give a damn about school, and Pearl got anxious if she didn’t have next month’s homework finished and alphabetized by subject.

Naturally, it was a perfect match.

* * *

 

The first time Amethyst laid eyes on Pearl from across public library, where they had (Amethyst, somewhat grudgingly) agreed to meet, she lost her breath for the first time in her life. There was something _about_ her as she stopped to ask the librarian at the desk a question, something unique and uncommon and incredibly, achingly beautiful about her pale skin, light dusting of freckles and peach colored hair that fell in an immaculate semi-bob cut that didn’t quite reach her shoulders and curled inward at the tips. (She’d been wearing a light teal headband that day, Amethyst remembers.) Her nose was prominent, but perfectly straight and pointed, adding to the unique charm that had captured Amethyst’s attention so completely.

So enraptured was Amethyst by this complete stranger that she didn’t even realize the girl was heading for her until she daintily set her bag on the table and hesitantly asked if she was Amethyst Rivera, because she was Pearl Blanche, her tutor. Amethyst blinked and jumped, snapping out of her daze, suddenly aware of just how hard she’d been staring.

“Oh, uh…yeah. I’m Amethyst. Hey.”

Pearl’s lips had curled slightly upwards into a grateful smile as she slipped into the seat adjacent to Amethyst and pulled Amethyst’s (unopened) textbook toward her.

Eyes subconsciously tracing Pearl’s graceful, deliberate movements, Amethyst found herself agreeing with the school for the first time in her somewhat short life.

She really _did_ need a tutor.

* * *

 Amethyst, being Amethyst, hadn’t stayed shy for long, and quickly took a shine to pushing Pearl’s buttons and teasing the older girl, just to hear that indignant tone and see the inevitable flush of pink dusting her cheeks. She even allowed herself to be scolded by Pearl for her somewhat reckless behavior (not that the reckless behavior was anything new), just for the inevitable exaggerated sigh and tittering (there was no other way to describe it) that would follow as Pearl’s feather-light fingers ran over whatever part of her body Amethyst had injured that day to make sure that she was, indeed, ‘okay’.

It continued for a good six months before Amethyst first heard the name that she’d learn to hate more than homework.

They’d grown closer, not just as a tutor and tutee, but as something resembling friends (though Pearl was a bit of a mother hen which made for an odd, unbalanced friendship)—a rare case of opposites who were just the right amount of opposite that they seemed to just…click. Amethyst, while still entranced by Pearl’s unique beauty, had come to look forward to the time she spent with the older girl for more than just eye-candy purposes (though she was still just a little young to know it for what any adult will know it was), and Pearl, while more than occasionally frustrated by Amethyst’s devil-may-care attitude and general lack of organization, found herself quite taken with the adorable, rambunctious Latina who contrasted everything else in Pearl’s life so completely.

And then one day, Amethyst had walked into the library for one of their study sessions (late, as always), only to find Pearl sitting at their usual table (early, as always), staring blankly at the textbook in front of her, looking like she was staring right through it.

(Amethyst had known immediately that something was wrong. This wasn’t _like_ Pearl. Textbooks _excited_ Pearl, the complete and total nerd.)

“Yo, P.”

Pearl had blinked and slowly raised her head, turning to Amethyst in acknowledgment, though it took several seconds for her eyes to focus properly. “Oh, Amethyst. Hello. Shall we get started?” She’d gestured vaguely to her water bottle, and Amethyst raised her eyebrows.

“Um, yeah, no,” she said bluntly, plopping down in the seat next to Pearl, whose eyebrows were now furrowed as if she were thinking very hard about something. “P, what’s up? What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Pearl blinked. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Coming from the girl who wants to tutor me using her water bottle?” Amethyst retorted dryly, “That’s not gonna cut it. Tell me what’s wrong.”

At that, Pearl had heaved a long, tortured sigh. “It’s…it’s Rose.”

“Rose?”

A faraway look had appeared in Pearl’s eyes—one that was much different than the look she’d been fixing her textbook just a minute ago. “Rose _Quartz_ ,” she’d clarified, with a dreamy sigh that made Amethyst’s eyebrows draw together involuntarily. She already wasn’t liking the sound of that—but she hated seeing Pearl upset even more, so she urged her to continue.

And Pearl did. For more than an hour.

Rose _Quartz_ was a college student, a student teacher who had been working alongside Pearl’s regular teacher since several weeks into the fall term. From what Amethyst could gather—Pearl went off on several tangents along the way, most of them involving Rose’s hair or perfume or her eyes (“ _oh_ , Amethyst, her _eyes_ )—Rose _Quartz_ was infinitely kind, loving, and took a great deal of interest in all of the students, particularly Pearl, who she saw ‘potential’ in.

She sounded like an amazing teacher, and Amethyst hated her.

It turned out that Pearl had been upset because Rose had come to school positively glowing that day, and had confided in Pearl (who, as usual, had been painfully early to school) that she was dating the most _wonderful_ boy.

“ _Greg,”_ Pearl had said, bitterly. “He looks like an absolute ruffian. She says he’s in a musician, and that he’s an amazing singer.” Pearl had actually huffed at this, chest puffing slightly. “ _I_ can sing.”

(She _could_. Pearl’s voice was the most beautiful sound Amethyst had ever heard, but somehow she doubted Pearl would care about _her_ opinion.)

* * *

 As a freshman, Amethyst didn’t really _need_ a tutor anymore, strictly speaking. As Pearl had said hundreds of times, Amethyst wasn’t dumb.

( _“Just lazy. And disorganized, and a little…_ **oh** _, Amethyst, is that a Snickers bar in your…your_ **bra** _?”_ )

But Amethyst _was_ afraid, however subconsciously, that if the tutoring stopped, she would never get to be around Pearl. They gravitated toward entirely different crowds, with the odd, rare exception who seemed to fit in with both (namely, Garnet Jones). Amethyst spent her time cutting the odd class and making the most of her teenage years with Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream who, while well-meaning, were notorious for getting into trouble. Meanwhile, Pearl associated with the traditionally popular crowd, in particular Opal and Sardonix. While she wasn’t busy fawning over Rose _Quartz_ , that was.

By the time Amethyst had arrived at Beach City High, Rose Quartz, who was apparently just as amazing as Pearl had made her out to be, had managed to become a full-fledged English teacher. Pearl’s infatuation was as strong as ever, if not more so—she had attempted to sneak into a lower level English course just to have Rose as a teacher, but the latter had caught her and steered her into a more appropriate, college-level AP course.

And, unfortunately, the same could be said for Amethyst, who was now old enough to be fully aware of just what that funny, fluttery feeling she got whenever she saw Pearl, however briefly, meant, and who was just as lost over the nerdy, tittering, mothering senior as she had been the day she met Pearl as a freshman.

It didn’t help that, as they had grown older and closer, Pearl had become far more comfortable with Amethyst. Even though Amethyst had initially crushed hard on the hesitant, dainty, hairband-wearing freshman, her feelings had only grown stronger and more real the more Pearl’s true self became exposed. Because real Pearl—shrill, bossy, know-it-all, sometimes petty and always overprotective—was even more attractive to Amethyst than her perfect prodigy child routine. And because apparently the universe fucking hated Amethyst for some crime in a past life, it turned out that Pearl was surprisingly tactile.

If Amethyst got a good grade on a test, she’d be rewarded with a brilliant smile (like, the nerd was _genuinely_ happy about someone else’s grades) and a surprisingly tight hug that was always over before Amethyst had time to process. If Amethyst was being particularly loveable one day, she might be rewarded with a soft smile and cool fingers running down her arm as an unconscious gesture of affection as Pearl stood up to leave. _God_ , Amethyst melted beneath her careful, feather-light touches _every time_.

And as things continued that way, Amethyst could almost forget about Rose Quartz and how she would never, ever have a chance with Pearl (because who could compare to kind loving beautiful perfect?).

* * *

 Then it came time for Pearl to graduate, and that’s when everything had changed.

Amethyst had come to her graduation, though she quickly found herself wishing she hadn’t. Perfect, valedictorian Pearl had been practically glued to Rose’s arm, whispering in her ear (she’d been involved in planning the whole thing, of course, and if Amethyst didn’t know her well enough to know Pearl was actually a big enough nerd to take _enjoyment_ from planning big, formal ceremonies, she’d think she did it just for the chance to be so close to Rose) throughout the entire day leading up to the ceremony, leaving Amethyst to sulk silently in the background.

Garnet, who was also graduating that year, had also been involved in planning, and had stopped by to have a word with both women at some point during the day. At one point, Amethyst had felt that unreadable, omniscient gaze and had looked up to see Garnet, still conversing with Pearl and Rose, with her eyes fixed steadily on Amethyst. Amethyst had flushed with embarrassment and darted her eyes to the floor, tightening her arms over her chest. Of course Garnet knew. How long had she known? Probably from the beginning.

The whole thing had been over in the space of one eight-or-so hour day, though, as with large, crowded, formal events, it felt like forever. Amethyst, stretching and popping every joint that would pop, had been headed out to the dark parking lot to meet Pearl, who had driven her. That’s when her world crashed down around her, like a huge tidal wave rolling over hundreds of beachgoers in one fell, seamless blow.

Pearl. Her tutor, her friend, her rock, her overprotective bird mom, her _Pearl_ , absolutely falling apart in the arms of Rose Quartz. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, and for once in her life, Amethyst didn’t take the opportunity to sneak closer and eavesdrop, because the stinging in her eyes and the ache in her chest told her she really, _really_ didn’t want to know. Rose was bending down, brushing stray peach locks behind pale, freckled ears, her free hand cupping both of Pearl’s, and there was something about the atmosphere, the careful distance between them and the way Pearl’s sobs were racking her thin body that told Amethyst all she needed to know.

It was at that moment that Amethyst had realized, in one of the worst ways possible, what had been happening ever since that first day at the library three years ago. That it wasn’t just a crush on her cute, slightly neurotic tutor. She was in love with Pearl. And Pearl was never, ever going to even see her as anything more than an annoying friend at best, let alone feel the same.

She barely even registered the large hand clapping down on her shoulder and steering her away from the scene in a firm, but oddly gentle grip. She probably would have been led anywhere by anyone that day, but luckily it was Garnet who had effortlessly helped her into the passenger seat of her car (or it might have been a truck, or a van. It could have been a small passenger airplane and Amethyst wouldn’t have known or cared about the difference) and ensured she’d made it home safely.

It had been Garnet who had acted as a barrier between Pearl and Amethyst, when Pearl bothered to ask about her (several weeks later)—Garnet who had listened patiently to the whole story and deciphered the important bits from Amethyst’s blubbering.

And even when she did speak to Pearl again, it wasn’t the same. Given that the summer was Pearl’s last before heading off to college in the fall, it was easy enough to say that they’d just been too busy to see each other (and besides, Amethyst had thought, bitterly, it wasn’t like Pearl had a reason to spend time with her anymore, now that she wouldn’t be tutoring her). But there was tension now, and boundaries that had never been there before. Amethyst wasn’t afraid that Pearl had noticed her feelings—as if she could see two feet to her left or right through her Rose Quartz-colored glasses. Pearl had been less affectionate since that night with Rose, almost as if Amethyst had just been a distraction to her, a way to make up for not being able to have Rose.

And Amethyst had taken it as exactly that, and closed off to Pearl entirely, not only avoiding or ignoring her, but being outright hostile. On the rare occasion Pearl tried to touch her, instead of melting into the touch, she’d jerk away before she had a chance. When Pearl would nitpick or fuss over Amethyst, instead of joking around or teasing, Amethyst would respond harshly, arguing with her and shutting her down.

She knew it hurt Pearl, and, realistically, she knew that Pearl’s face wouldn’t crumple like that if she didn’t care about Amethyst to some extent. But for all her bravado and jokes, Amethyst was deeply insecure, and it was far easier (in a manner of speaking) for her to completely disregard all of Pearl’s affection as having been a product of displaced care than for her to admit that Pearl _did_ care about her (just not as much as Rose. Nobody ever mattered as much as Rose).

As a result, their relationship had grown strained, with Pearl eventually responding to Amethyst’s treatment with indignance and anger of her own. And even though it killed Amethyst to have their friendship turned into something argumentative and passive aggressive, it hurt more to be as close as they had been before and know that she could never hope to mean as much to Pearl as her precious Rose Quartz.

* * *

 That had been three years ago. Three years since Amethyst last felt Pearl’s fingers run fondly down her arm. Three years since the last time Pearl had fussed over Amethyst getting a black eye from some meaningless fight.

They had seen each other, on occasion, by necessity, because Garnet was a mutual friend and for some reason refused to let the two of them completely fade out of each others’ lives. But any conversation between them had been strained and clipped and inevitably ended in an argument. Amethyst wasn’t even sure what to _call_ it at this point. They had never really, truly _fallen out,_ but they certainly weren’t friends—at least, not in any remotely healthy sense. But labels didn’t matter. Amethyst would never be Rose Quartz, and that was all she needed to know. Bickering and squabbling was easier than being friends and always having that there, hovering over her, mocking her.

But it was about it get a little more tricky. Because all that tutoring was bound to have some kind of effect in the end, however little the actual tutoring meant to Amethyst, and, against all odds, Amethyst was going to college.

Crystal University.

Garnet’s college.

 _Pearl’s_ college.

Amethyst hoped she had a lazy RA. She was pretty sure she was going to need a _lot_ of alcohol to survive this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited because the author is OCD (like legitimately) and also has no life and nothing better to do on a Friday evening.


	2. before the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst arrives at the dorms, gets a glimpse of college life, meets a couple people and tries not to think about Pearl. It doesn't really work out, but everything turns out okay anyway.
> 
> (Or, in which nothing really happens but in kind of a good way.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Peridot is in character. I mean, she started out on the show as really stiff and painfully logical, so that's kind of what I did here...I'll get her to the adorable klutz we all know and love, promise! I just hope she's still in character, just, you know...earlier character :P Please let me know! :)

Amethyst Rivera surveyed her new living quarters with a mild degree of apathy.

The common area wasn’t terribly cramped, but it wasn’t anything to brag about, either, and as she lugged her overstuffed duffel bag (packed mainly with perishables and Cheese Whiz) into her new bedroom, she noted that it was equally unspectacular.

She shrugged and threw the duffel carelessly onto the uncomfortable-looking mattress before following in much the same suit. “Ah, well,” she said to the empty room. “It is what it is.” Amethyst wasn’t one to dwell on the negative. If she were…well, the world only needed one Pearl.

 _If that many,_ she thought, half-amused, half-annoyed. It had been years since she’d seen the tall, peach-haired girl, as Pearl was several years older than Amethyst and had gone off to college while Amethyst had still been in high school.

Presently, Amethyst heard a series of…noises (interrupted by the occasional English) coming from the direction of the hallway, and lifted her head, eyebrows raised in mild curiosity.

 “… _oof_! Stupid wall…GACK! Urgh…clodding…suitcase! I will… _destroy_ you…! THUMP. _Yerrgh_ , damn door!” This last outburst was followed by the telltale sound of a door being kicked, and a yelp of pain. Finally deciding it was worth her while to check out what all this noise was about, Amethyst rolled off her bed, sauntered through the generously dubbed ‘living room’ and swung her door open just as a short girl with messy, light blonde hair came into view, back first, dragging a large suitcase along the carpet with both hands.

“Uhhm…hey?”

“GACK!” The girl nearly leapt out of her skin, the suitcase landing on the floor with a solid ‘thud’.

Amethyst raised an eyebrow—her right, the one she’d gotten pierced the past summer because it seemed like the college thing to do. “Sup?” she asked, as if it were perfectly common to find frazzled, messy-haired blondes in oversized, neon-green alien hoodies cursing up a storm at her doorstep.

The girl shot her a sidelong glare and puffed a lock of white-blonde hair, which had fallen out of its place, hurriedly clipped at the top of her head. “In case it wasn’t obvious enough, _I could use a little help here_ ,” she replied in a nasally, and slightly annoyed, tone.

The other eyebrow quirked. “Don’t waste time on manners, huh?” she asked casually, watching as the girl struggled to shove her suitcase back upright. The girl shot her what was clearly meant to be a lead-melting glare, though her flushed cheeks and flyaway hair somewhat dampened the intended effect. After a moment more spent lazily watching the girl struggling with her luggage, Amethyst pushed out of the doorframe and tugged the suitcase out of the girl’s grasp. She gave a surprised grunt.

“Shit, what’s in this thing?” she commented. Then, with a glance at the girl’s hoodie and a mischievous smirk, “Moon rocks?”

“Oh, ha ha,” the girl snarked. “Though I must thank you for your help. It seems I may have...overpacked.” She cleared her throat and pushed her glasses up on her nose in embarrassment. “Slightly.”

“Slightly, huh?” Amethyst replied, rhetorically. This girl had an odd way of speaking, almost mechanical. She’d be fun to mess with… “So…where’s this going?” She gestured to the suitcase.

“Oh, uh, just down the hall,” the other girl stated, then frowned. “I think. I don’t really know my way around yet.”

“That’s cool, neither do I.”

The two girls headed toward the end of the narrow hallway, Amethyst lugging the heavy suitcase behind her. After a little asking around (on Amethyst’s part—the blonde didn’t seem to want to speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary), they found their destination.

With a loud groan, Amethyst lifted the suitcase and tossed it onto the bed nearest the wall.

“Or wait, did you want a window?”

“I don’t really care,” the girl replied, after a moment looking at the other bed. “And I’d rather avoid any arguments with my potential roommate so early on.”

Amethyst shrugged and hoisted herself onto the bed after the suitcase, dangling her legs over the edge. The beds were so high—she doubted even Pearl, with her long dancer’s legs, would be able to touch the ground.

Then she shook herself mentally. She wasn’t going to waste her college years pining over Pearl.

Or her amazing legs.

Especially when Pearl was somewhere on the very same campus.

“So, I didn’t catch your name,” Amethyst said, watching the other girl take in her surroundings.

The other girl, who seemed a little disconcerted that Amethyst had just made herself at home. “Peridot.” Then, a moment later, “Diamond. My name is Peridot Diamond. And that is my bed.” She pointed to the bed Amethyst was currently lounging on. “Kindly get off.”

Amethyst laughed—this girl was a trip. Instead of doing as the blonde—Peridot—had asked (or, rather, demanded), she stretched and fell backwards so that she was lying flat on her back on the plastic-coated mattress. “I’m Amethyst,” she said, turning onto her side and propping up an elbow to balance herself. “And you can relax around me, dude, I’m not the dean or anything. Take the stick out of your ass, you remind me of someone I knew…back in grade school…”

Amethyst fell silent, and out of the corner of her sharp eye, Peridot regarded the other girl for a long moment. This girl, Amethyst, didn’t seem to have any concept of boundaries. It had been less than five minutes and she had teased Peridot, taken over Peridot’s bed, ignored Peridot when she asked her to get off, and informed her that she had a stick up her…well, her _bottom_. And yet…she’d helped Peridot, a total stranger, lug her monstrously heavy suitcase to her room without a seconds’ hesitation. She would definitely have to study her more before she came to a consensus on what kind of person she was.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Amethyst sighed loudly, pulling herself back into a sitting position. “Heavy shit, you know?”

Peridot nodded, as if she knew.

(She didn't.)

Amethyst seemed to pick up on the hedge, because she just laughed at Peridot’s reaction and shook her head. “But this isn’t high school,” she said, opening her arms in a sort of grand gesture, “this is _college_. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives! It’s time to fuck shit up!”

“I sense a flaw in that logic,” Peridot commented blandly.

Amethyst ignored her and hopped off the bed rather gracelessly. She’d never been graceful, and it wasn’t hard to see why. Anyone could see she wasn’t built for it—she was short with short limbs and, while not quite stocky, she was definitely chubby. Not that it bothered her. Amethyst had never had issues with body image. She was just realistic.

Graceful was for people like Pearl, tall and slender and finicky. Graceful wasn’t for Amethyst, who couldn’t enter a room without the neighbors filing a noise complaint.

“ _Gack_!”

Graceful also, apparently, wasn’t for people like Peridot, who’d just tripped over her own two feet on her way to hang a poster whose alien-head design matched her hoodie.

“You okay down there, shorty?” Amethyst asked, amusement in her voice.

“Shut up,” Peridot said, voice muffled as she picked herself up from the floor, flushing darkly. “And you’re one to talk. You’re shorter than I am.”

“I never said I wasn’t. I just said _you_ were.”

Peridot grumbled under her breath unintelligibly while Amethyst chuckled and reached over to brush the dust off her front.

“Alright, I’m gonna let you settle in then,” she said, straightening up and stretching, hands intertwined above her head. “Unless you think you’re gonna need someone to dial 911 for you at some point.” Amusement tinged her voice and her features, and Peridot felt herself blushing darker than ever. “I’ll see you around, P-dot!” Amethyst left, still chuckling, hands clasped behind her head, while Peridot was left to contemplate this enigma of a person.

* * *

 Amethyst groaned into her pillow.

The whole point of college was supposed to be getting a fresh start, right? So then why did her mind keep on drifting back to Pearl?

In reality she knew the answer. Of course it was because Pearl was closer now (physically) than she had been in years, and even though Amethyst didn’t _want_ to think about her, her subconscious was stuck in a nervous loop of ‘PearlPearlPearl _Pearl_ ’ and trying not to think about her was only making Amethyst think about her more.

Fuck, she hated psychology bullshit.

With felt like the hundredth groan that hour, Amethyst pushed herself up with her hands and folded herself into a sitting position. All this lying around by herself was no good for her. She hated silence, and being alone. Not just because it was boring, but because it gave her ample time and lack of distraction to contemplate just how shitty everything was. It turned her into a pessimist, and Amethyst hated that. She was the life of the party, the one who cheered people up when they were feeling down. She hated the feeling it gave her; or, more accurately, the lack of feeling. More than anything, Amethyst hated feeling _numb_.

So despite her body’s protests, she hopped off the bed, grabbed her jacket (an overlarge, worn zipper hoodie that had belonged to an old boyfriend whose name she couldn’t quite remember, not because Amethyst was that type of person, but because he’d been the first of many fruitless endeavors to forget Pearl, or even to stop caring so _damn_ much) and headed out the door before she could think it through and give in to her laziness.

The hallway was a completely different place from just a few hours before, now that a good amount of students had arrived. A football whizzed over Amethyst’s head and she ducked lazily out of the way, hands stuffed in her jeans as she slouched into the common area and casually surveyed her new floormates for the rest of the year.

It was a lot like high school, without the restrictions of teachers hanging around every three corners or so. The football had been thrown by a hulking girl with oddly striped skin and muscles even Garnet may have been jealous of. She was only half paying attention, glancing up only to catch the ball as she chatted with the bored-looking girl leaning against the wall on her left. That explained why it had nearly beaned Amethyst, then. Across the room, a boy with a curly red mohawk was leaning against a wall, obviously trying to look cool and failing miserably as he attempted to hold a conversation with a group of oddly familiar people…

“Yo, Jenny!” Amethyst shouted over the den. Said girl blinked and turned, looking for the person who’d called her, until her eyes settled on Amethyst. She broke into a wide grin and waved enthusiastically as the shorter girl wove through the crowd to join her old high school gang. Jenny held out an arm from her seat on the sofa, and Amethyst, taking the hint, fell onto the cushion beside her, fitting easily under the fashionable girl’s arm. “Sour Cream, Buck,” Amethyst acknowledged the two boys on the floor. Sour Cream, a tall, gangly, white-haired boy was propped up against the balls of his hands, legs sprawled lazily across the floor, affording room for Buck, who was donning his usual sunglasses and lying out so that his head was resting against Sour Cream’s stomach. The two boys glanced up at her and nodded in greeting, clearly somewhat lost in their own world.

Amethyst couldn’t help but grin at the sight. These three had the craziest, most amazing relationship she’d ever seen, and she’d never seen anyone who loved each other more. She did always feel like a bit of an outsider, though the three had made it clear she was more than welcome to join in any time she wanted. She would have felt as if she were intruding, and as awesome as their relationship was, it wasn’t Amethyst’s cup of tea.

“So,” the arm around her shoulders squeezed gently, forcing Amethyst from her rare introspective mood. Jenny was wearing a casual expression, but beneath it was a hint of trepidation. “How’s it goin’?”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “Fine? I only got here a couple hours ago, yo.”

Jenny shoved her playfully. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” she replied as Amethyst chuckled and fell back against her side. Then she adopted a more serious tone, looking Amethyst right in the eyes. “I mean…how _are_ you?”

Amethyst, mood slightly dampened, rolled her eyes. “Like I said, I only just got here.” When Jenny’s deceptively nonchalant gaze didn’t waver, Amethyst gave a theatrical sigh and threw up her stubby arms. “I haven’t even _seen_ her yet, dude, I’m _fine_!”

Unfazed, Jenny gave her a look that clearly said she didn’t believe a word of it. Still, being Jenny, she let the subject drop. There was no point trying to have a rational conversation with Amethyst, especially about something like her feelings, when Amethyst didn’t want to. The more she was pushed, the harder she would push back, and it was just easier to let her be. Most of them had learned that lesson early on.

And then, of course there were those who couldn’t seem to let sleeping dogs lie despite knowing better, whether for the sake of their own pride or simple stubbornness…whatever the case, it was that core conflict that everyone but those directly involved could see was just driving the wedge in deeper. Ironically, at one point in time it had served as a magnet as well.

So of course Jenny was worried about Amethyst. They all were. Amethyst knew, despite how thick and unconcerned she acted. They were choosing their words carefully, walking on eggshells…she wished they would just stop. It wasn’t like going to the same school again was going to change anything at all. The bickering came so easily now, Amethyst wouldn’t even have to try. And besides, Pearl was a senior now. Just one year, and Amethyst would be free. Maybe being closer to her would even make it easier, what with all the nitpicking and squawking and just overall Pearl…ing. How could she have feelings with all _that_ bombarding her?

 _You did once before,_ a small voice in the back of Amethyst’s mind reminded her.

 _Shut up,_ she replied, and the voice died away.

* * *

 

Amethyst stayed with the trio for a while afterwards, not so much for the sake of conversation—it wasn’t like they had a whole lot to say, having only been away from each other for a few weeks—as for the company and the meaningless chatter. The orange-haired boy had skulked off at some point, after being ignored for the better part of an hour, and the crowd had thinned considerably when Amethyst finally got to her feet and stretched.

“I’ll see you guys around,” she said. “My roommate’s probably here by now, I gotta go make sure she doesn’t mess with my shit.”

“Oh I think your shit’s fine, Ame,” Jenny replied, not looking up from her phone. “Most people ain't into fossilized burrito collecting.”

Amethyst flipped her friend off and turned to leave. “And don’t get involved with your roommate,” Sour Cream added seriously, from behind her.

“That road leads straight to Drama City, yo,” she heard Buck add, and could almost see him nodding along with Sour Cream’s words as he did so. Laughing at her friends’ ‘sage advice’, she nodded and shot them a noncommittal wave over her shoulder as she headed back down the hallway toward her room.

In all actuality, maybe starting a thing with her roommate would make for a nice distraction.

_Plus, imagine the look on P’s face if I told her I was fucking my—_

Amethyst growled in annoyance at her own thoughts. Who cared if Pearl cared if she was fucking someone else?

Someone _, there is no_ else, _idiot._

She hadn’t even seen Pearl yet and she kept invading her thoughts. God, what was wrong with her? It had been three fucking _years_ already. If it was this bad now, how much worse would it get when she inevitably bumped into Pearl on campus (because we’ve already established that the universe hated Amethyst)?

And to top it all off, this whole thing was making Amethyst start off her freshman year of college in a bad mood, and that was the _last_ thing she wanted to do.

Still frustrated, she swiped her keycard and walked straight into her dorm room, flinging herself face-first onto her (still unmade) bed without even noticing that she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Um…are you alright?”

Amethyst’s eyes snapped open and she fumbled into an upright position, facing the direction the voice had come from. It had apparently come from the short, slightly pudgy, sweet-faced blonde girl who was kneeling on the floor, going through her belongings. “Oh, hey,” Amethyst said. “Uh…” She hedged for a second, came up empty, and decided on the truth. She sighed. “Sorry about that. I swear I’m cheerful normally.”

The girl laughed, and Amethyst felt a weight lift from her chest. She’d hate to start on the wrong foot with the chick she’d be sharing a room with into the foreseeable future. She stood up, dusting off the knees of her jeans. “No worries,” she said kindly. “I’ve seen that look before. Hell, I’ve _worn_ it.” She stepped forward, over the mess of personal items that was currently their floor, hand outstretched. “I’m Sadie.”

Amethyst eyed the proffered hand for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly. Taken aback, Sadie faltered in her approach. Then, Amethyst jumped down from the bed and opened her arms wide. “I’m not much of a hand-shaker,” she said in a teasing voice. “Let’s hug it out, roomie!”

Sadie gave a little relieved/disbelieving laugh and, after a second’s hesitation, accepted the hug, tentatively hugging back. When they let go, Sadie was smiling, her cheeks a little rosy, clearly unused to such easy contact, but pleased nonetheless. Amethyst glanced down at all their belongings littering the floor.

“Shit, I hate this part,” she commented, and Sadie, following her gaze, laughed.

(Sadie laughed easily, Amethyst liked that.)

“Yeah, me too.”

* * *

It was several hours’ worth of work, but Sadie was a surprisingly good conversationalist, and they managed to keep each other entertained through chatting through the chore. By the time eleven rolled around, they were both too tired to do anything more than turn out the lights flop down on their beds (which were now made, though Amethyst’s looked more like a nest than a bed, as Sadie had jokingly pointed out), still in the clothes they’d been wearing all day.

Despite her exhaustion, Amethyst fell asleep with a smile on her face. All that mindless work had driven her Pearl-centric thoughts from her brain and she felt much more like herself—happy and ready to face her first real day in a couple days’ time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry nothing really happened in this chapter. It’s kind of hard to write the base chapters, before really getting into the story, but I hope it’s not as hard to read! I was going to have Amethyst and Peridot be roommates but changed it at the last minute for…reasons that, if not already transparent, will become so later on. I hope Amethyst didn’t seem OOC in this chapter as well—I take pride in my characterization. It’s just what came to me and again, these build-up, nothing chapters are hard so they always become too introspective…anyway, I really hope you guys enjoyed it, at least. I promise the story will take off soon!  
> I guess it’s important (or I think it is) that I let everyone know that I’m not one for dark fics—I get depressed enough without stuff I read/watch being all depressing as well, haha. So no matter what angst may eventually come, rest assured it will have a happy ending! I also want to thank everyone who left me a comment/kudos! You guys are great, and I was so happy to see that so many people seem to be enjoying this so far! I hope you all continue to enjoy this work, and if you have the time, please comment/review as well! I love to hear your opinions/input, and like I said before, it’s great motivation for us writers! Thank you all very much for your support!


	3. something like destiny (or maybe just bad luck)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another setup chapter. We get a little bit more insight into Peridot's character and Amethyst is put out of her anticipation-based-misery.

“Amethyst…”

Amethyst groaned and batted at the hand that shook her from her blissful state of half-sleep.

“Come on, Amethyst, you’re going to be late.”

“So?” she mumbled, though with sleep fogging her brain and her unwillingness to so much as extend the energy to fully open her mouth, it came out more like, “ _Shho?”_

Sadie rolled her eyes and gave Amethyst another firm shake, using both hands this time, and then yanked the covers off of her. “So it’s the _first day_ , Amethyst. At least wait until you’ve gone to _one_ of each of your classes before you start cutting them.

Her roommate gave a loud groan of protest, but slowly dragged herself upright into a sitting position. Over the (ridiculously short) weekend, the two had become fairly good friends, and Sadie, who, despite being sweet and kind, would tolerate no bullshit when it came down to it, especially when it came to something important like her friends’ education. As easygoing as Amethyst was, this made for a fairly good match, and they’d easily settled into their own sort of routine.

Still, Amethyst was not a morning person, and while she wasn’t actually mad at her roommate, she was certainly grumpy. “Aren’t you chipper?” she grumbled, glaring at the blonde from under her mess of white-blonde hair. And, given its length and natural fluffiness, it was quite the impressive mess, indeed.

Sadie, who was already in the process of applying a minimal amount of makeup, just smiled at Amethyst from the mirror in her closet. “You’ll thank me later!” she said simply as Amethyst dangled an experimental foot from the bed before pretty much toppling the rest of the way out.

“Yeah, yeah, not likely,” Amethyst replied, grabbing a change of clothes from her own closet and heading for their shared shower. As messy of a person as she was, she still liked her _body_ to be clean at the very least. On her way to the en suite, she paused at the counter just outside the door, glancing at her reflection in the mirror that was attached to the wall behind it.

She had never been one for being overly conscious of her appearance, but today, she found herself watching her reflection with an uncharacteristically scrutinizing eye. Possibly because it was the first day of the rest of her life (or, more likely, because of the ever-looming shadow that was the possibility of running into Pearl), she found herself running a chubby hand over the skin of her face. She’d always had reasonably good luck when it came to her skin—she’d never had a breakout of acne or anything like that—but that being said, it was never perfect, either. Not that she owned any correctional makeup, of course…

She looked away from the mirror. She didn’t like looking at herself for too long—it tended to make the faults she saw in herself swim up to the surface and come out in her reflection. And it wasn’t as if anything she _did_ would be able to hide anything from Pearl’s sharp, bird-like gaze if she wanted to see.

Not that Pearl had ever made Amethyst feel inferior…at least not as far as her looks went. Amethyst almost wished she had. Maybe then she wouldn’t be standing here like an idiot wondering what someone who’d never look her way would think of her looks.

* * *

 

The first half of the day went by pretty easily…or maybe it was just that Amethyst was still half asleep so it passed by in more or less a blur.

Whatever the case, Amethyst was wide awake by lunchtime. Unfortunately, Sadie had a class around this time, so Amethyst was left to her own devices as far as finding someone to sit with. Being Amethyst, however, finding someone to eat with a lunch had been one of the famous traumas she had always been spared. Unafraid of socializing and too laid-back (and too much of a tease) to bully, nobody had ever even tried.

Food tray in hand, she scanned the dining hall, only for her eyes to come to a halt on a small, hunched figure eating by themselves at a (relatively) secluded table near the windows. A mischievous smirk formed on her otherwise deceptively innocent, lightly freckled face, and she made a beeline for the lone figure.

“Yo, Peridork!”

“Gah!” Peridot nearly jumped out of her skin as Amethyst dropped her tray (needlessly loudly) on  the table and plopped down into the seat directly across from her.

“You sure make a lot of interesting noises, you know?”

Peridot huffed, cheeks flushing. Amethyst glanced at her setup with a raised eyebrow.

“Yikes,” she said, eyeing the serious-looking textbook spread out in front of the girl. “Homework already?”

“I’m reading ahead,” Peridot corrected, straightening her glasses.

Amethyst stared at her for a moment before busting out laughing. “Oh, my god,” she wheezed, wiping her eyes. “You are _such_ a nerd.”

Peridot narrowed her eyes, though her flushed cheeks somewhat lessened the intended effect. “And I suppose _you_ haven’t started on anything yet?” she asked, pointedly.

“Nope,” Amethyst replied, popping the ‘P’ as she dug into her cheeseburger. “Pretty sure I was half asleep through most of the morning, actually. Hey, this is pretty good. You know, for school food.”

Peridot was staring at her in vague disbelief, like she was some sort of alien life form that just made absolutely no sense. Finally, apparently giving up on trying to make sense of Amethyst, she turned to her own food.

Following her gaze, Amethyst chuckled. “That’s your lunch?” she asked, eyeing the bag of cool ranch Doritos and the accompanying Pepsi in amusement.

“Like a cheeseburger is any healthier,” Peridot volleyed back.

Amethyst held up her hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgement, yo,” she said. “Just, you know, that’s not gonna get you very far. Although I guess you do kinda seem like the type to live off snacks.”

Huffing again, Peridot chose not to respond, instead popping open her bag of chips and stealthily surveying Amethyst out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t _think_ she was being bullied, though it was always a little hard for her to tell. She supposed that was part of what made it so easy for the kids back in high school. Still, Amethyst seemed good-natured enough and while Peridot was a little uncomfortable with the constant teasing, she supposed she could try to get used to it.

There was a silence between the two that lasted for a whole ten seconds before Amethyst spoke again.

“Your roommate ever show up?”

Peridot felt a small wave of relief course through her at this. This kind of socialization, she could handle (probably).

“Yes, though I haven’t spoken to her,” she said. “Her stuff just kind of…appeared…when I came back from the shower. And she wasn’t there when I went to bed.” This hadn’t boded well for Peridot. She _really_ didn’t want some crazy, drug-addled party girl for a roommate. “Then when I woke up this morning, she was there."

It had scared Peridot half to death, especially when she thought that someone had entered the room and she hadn’t even woken up…but she kept this to herself. “She was still asleep when I left.” Peridot _hoped_ the girl was her roommate, at least. All she'd really seen was a form bundled tightly in comforters with a tuft of blue just barely visible at the top. If it wasn't...

Forcing herself not to follow that particular paranoid delusion, Peridot went back to her Doritos.

“Oooh, mysterious,” Amethyst replied, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

“Hardly,” Peridot replied, stiltedly. “I just hope she doesn’t turn out to be one of those crazy ‘party girls’ I keep hearing about.” She used air quotes when saying the words ‘party girl’. “I don’t want anything interfering with my studying.”

“You mean like fun?” Amethyst asked dryly, though her eyes were twinkling in amusement. This girl was so like Pearl in some ways, yet so completely different…it was pretty refreshing, to be honest. Plus she was pretty sure a lot of the similarities might be simply because Peridot was still pretty uncomfortable with her. Despite sounding a bit cynical, Peridot didn’t seem to have much of a concept of social awareness or, indeed, people as a whole. It was strangely cute. “Maybe you should talk to her. You know, get to know her?”

This idea seemed to fluster Peridot, who made a show of clearing her throat and subsequently choking on a Dorito she’d forgotten was in her mouth. “I- I don’t think that’s really necessary,” she fumbled, revealing more emotion than Amethyst had seen from her so far. “I mean, roommates don’t have to have anything to do with each other.”

“Well…I guess not,” Amethyst replied. “But don’t you think it’d be more fun if you guys were friends?”

Peridot’s flush darkened, and Amethyst felt an unexpected stab of pity for the girl. Despite all her clowning around and teasing, Amethyst was quite perceptive when it came to other people, and it was all but obvious by this point that Peridot hadn’t had many (if any) friends before now— from how she reacted so shocked whenever Amethyst acted friendly toward her to how lacking her social skills were.

“I…I guess…,” Peridot replied, her entire tone changing to one of hesitance. Amethyst got the sudden, inexplicable feeling that this was exactly how it would feel if she were convincing a child to try a new food. Peridot was staring down at her hands, apparently unconsciously snapping a Dorito to crumbs between her fingers. “You—you don’t think she’ll be…”

The unspoken ‘mean’ came across to Amethyst loud and clear. “I don’t know,” she said, honestly. She’d never been one for making promises she wasn’t sure she’d keep. It saved a lot of pain in the end. “I don’t think so,” she added when Peridot’s unexpectedly vulnerable expression fell. She glanced at the screen of her phone. “Tell you what,” she said, gathering her tray in her hands, “if she is, you tell me, and I’ll take care of her for you.”

She winked at Peridot as she stood, tray in hand, to head off to her next class, missing the blush that the action had painted onto the other girl’s skin.

* * *

 

As prepared as Amethyst thought she had been—as aware of the possibility as she’d come—it turned out that she may as well not have bothered.

Amethyst froze in place in the middle of the hall just outside the amphitheater, unaware of the grumblings of those students who’d been right behind her and had to swerve at the last minute.

She was different—taller than before, and she’d filled out just enough to be less gangly and more graceful (if that was possible), and an elegant baby-pink undercut styled into a softly curling, feminine mohawk had replaced the always impeccable peach bob-cut.

But there was no mistaking that uniquely beautiful face, delicate features and eyes that sparkled with the prospect of school and _learning_. (Or, indeed, that prim, uncomfortably rigid and needlessly pretty posture.)

It was _Pearl_.

In Amethyst’s fucking _sociology_ course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a RIDICULOUS amount of time to describe Pearl’s hair. Like, how the hell am I supposed to get the exact image of how her hair looks across to readers without sounding like I’m describing it word-for-word? Hopefully I got the picture across well enough. I still don’t like the word ‘mohawk’ for a female, unless I’m explicitly describing an actual mohawk. But apparently that’s how it’s described. So I hate using pictures in my works (not the drawn ones, I love coming across those, it’s like an extra treat, I meant like reference pictures) because I feel it makes for weak writing. Like what I used to post on TeenNick back when I was like sixteen, lol. But I really want you guys to get an idea of what I’m going for here because to be honest, I got the inspiration for this fic thinking of Pearl with this haircut. I know. It’s sad. So here’s a linky-link and you can tell me how off I was in describing it in words xP (http://hairstylehub.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/3-1.jpg)
> 
> I don’t like this chapter. I had a hard time writing out Amethyst and Peridot’s interaction and I’m not sure if I’ve made the right decision as far as laying the basework for Peridot and her roommate. I also wanted to try to start showing Peridot's true personality a little bit since it'd be bad writing to just have her suddenly be like she is now in the show (adorkable), but I may have completely fucked up instead. I kinda feel like I did D:
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed it, though, or at the very least that it wasn’t horrible. Like I said, I hate these setup chapters. Hopefully from the next chapter on it will go more smoothly. Please leave a review, even if you, like me, think it kind of sucked, haha. I'm mostly worried that Peridot is out of character...i tried to so it naturally but...I don't know, I just hope it's believable and in character.


	4. realities and realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst learns that, unfortunately for her and her impulsive nature, some things in life just take time.

Of course Pearl was the fucking TA.

Of. Fucking. _Course_.

Because it’d be too easy to avoid Pearl on a campus as large as that of Crystal University, so naturally the universe had to give Amethyst a _real_ challenge. Like having to avoid her from the same auditorium every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

And really, she should have seen it coming. It _was_ Perfect Pearl, after all. Of course she'd be a TA.

As soon as Amethyst had regained control of her extremities, she’d reached up and flipped the hood of her sweatshirt over her fluffy, baby lavender locks. On top of that, she’d specifically chosen a seat at the very back of the auditorium, only a few yards from the double doors she’d walked in through.

She’d managed to make it all the way through the lecture—which would have been yawn-inducing had Amethyst been paying any attention whatsoever (as it was, she’d been preoccupied with making herself as invisible as humanly possible)—without being noticed, and was just letting her guard down when the universe decided to intervene.

Pearl was navigating the rows of seats, handing out the traditional start-of-term syllabi, and Amethyst, unthinking, had chosen an aisle seat. Maybe if she turned her head just so and just held her hand out for the packet…

“I’m sorry, hoods aren’t allowed to be up during class. I’m going to have to ask you to remove it.”

Amethyst’s face screwed up in defeat at the same time her heart kicked into high gear at the sound of the melodic voice she hadn’t heard in more than a year. Of _course_ Pearl (no-fun, rule-following, stickler Pearl) would comment on that. Her chest tightening, Amethyst slowly reached up to push the hood back from her hair. Maybe Pearl wouldn’t recognize her. Maybe she would, but she wouldn’t bother saying anything. After all, Amethyst was only some impudent kid she used to tutor. (This thought was almost worse than the thought of having to hold a conversation with Pearl.)

Thankfully, Amethyst didn’t have to wonder for long, because Pearl apparently hadn’t gotten the memo that she was being avoided.

“ _Amethyst…_?”

At this, Amethyst’s heart felt like it was ready to burst from her chest. Flushing, and unable to meet Pearl’s eyes (or, rather, unwilling to see the emotion in them), Amethyst yanked the packets from Pearl’s fingers, which had gone limp in shock. “Thanks,” she muttered, taking one and passing the rest to the half-asleep boy on her right. Maybe Pearl would take the hint.

She didn’t, though, and Amethyst nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt those long, slender fingers come to rest on her shoulder.

“ _Amethyst_ , I—”

“I’m trying to learn here, do you mind?” Amethyst snapped in an undertone, jerking her shoulder free, though the absence of Pearl’s touch felt as though it left a gaping hole in her chest. She glared at the taller girl from under her bangs and saw Pearl’s demeanor change just as she knew it would.

Pearl had pulled her hand back up to her chest indignantly, as if she’d been slapped, drawing herself to her full height. Her eyes hardened and she scoffed in exaggerated disbelief. “Really, Amethyst, if you’re going to be immature, you could come up with a more believable excuse,” she replied, practically hissing the last part of the sentence.

Amethyst made a show of rolling her eyes and turning to face the front again, arms folded behind her head. She heard a small, frustrated growl, saw Pearl’s hands clench into fists out of the corner of her eye, and knew Pearl was trying very hard not to stomp her foot. Pearl couldn’t _stand_ when Amethyst just ignored her, especially when she was in one of her lecturing moods or in the middle of an argument. Amethyst was almost positive it was the only thing that irritated her more than Amethyst going out of her way to annoy her.

She heard Pearl sigh, then _felt_ her bend down to Amethyst’s level, and she felt her cheeks heating up in spite of herself. “We _will_ talk about this, Amethyst,” she promised lowly, before turning on her heel and gracefully walking back down to her desk.

Amethyst let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. God, what the hell was her _problem_? Why was her heart doing backflips over Pearl? Was a new haircut all it took for Amethyst to go from doing a fairly good job of hiding her feelings to basically broadcasting them to the world?

* * *

 

She felt Pearl’s sharp, teal gaze on her for the entire rest of the lesson, though luckily that was only a matter of ten minutes or so. When the professor dismissed the class, Amethyst practically jammed the pile of first-day type papers into her bag even as she was walking out the room in her rush to get away from Pearl. She practically jogged out of the auditorium, not slowing down until she was halfway across campus, in the large, cement courtyard where a lot of students stopped between classes to make out.

Out of breath, she plopped down onto the edge of the large, angular fountain that formed the courtyard’s centerpiece. It really was a beautiful piece of architecture, with its mosaic basin and huge, diamond-shaped statue from which the water fell in smooth, almost calculated layers. But Amethyst was far too preoccupied to notice or care.

“Ugh…” She felt her face flush with embarrassment as her heartrate slowed to a more normal pace. “What the fuck is _wrong_ with me?” Amethyst hated her tendency to just run away from whatever was bothering her, especially when it came to people. And then the way she’d responded to Pearl—Pearl, who still had no idea why Amethyst had started being so argumentative to begin with. Amethyst must look like an idiot to her. What did she expect, Pearl to come running after her, all worrying and fretting like she used to back when they were younger and Amethyst was upset?

Amethyst sighed into her hands. It wasn’t like she _tried_ to be passive aggressive. It was just…she supposed some spall part of her wanted Pearl to do just that, even though the rational side of her mind knew she wouldn’t.

A hand clapped down heavily on her shoulder, causing Amethyst to start. For one, heart-stopping moment, she thought Pearl _had_ come after her—but a second later, without even looking at the offender, she knew it couldn’t be. Pearl’s touch was always cool and feather-light, always leaving Amethyst wanting for more, not confident and warm and commanding. That was…

“Running from someone?”

Garnet. Of course she’d find Amethyst. She seemed almost omniscient at times, particularly back in high school when it came to Amethyst’s feelings for Pearl.

Amethyst took a deep breath, steeling herself. The last thing she wanted to do right now was go right back to the girl she’d just run away from and humiliate herself all over again. She doubted she could fool Garnet, but it was worth a shot.

“What makes you say that, G?” she asked, pasting on a lighthearted grin. “Can’t a girl just chill out and enjoy the beauty of the campus?”

She couldn’t see Garnet’s eyes behind her almost always present sunglasses, but the tone of the African-American woman’s next words told her she needn’t have taken the effort. “I never had the impression you were the type to stop and smell the roses,” she said in her gentle, lightly-accented voice. Amethyst would sometimes marvel at how she could be so soft-spoken, at yet so commanding, all at once. “You always seemed more likely to trample through them without looking back.”

Garnet wore a soft smile, and Amethyst felt the tension in her chest release, if only slightly.

“Even ignoring the whole ‘rose’ symbolism,” Amethyst commented, dry humor lacing her voice, “that’s harsh, G.”

“That was unintentional,” Garnet replied lightly. “The rose bit, at least.”

Amethyst laughed and leaned back on her palms, averting her gaze to the basin of the fountain. It was mostly littered with pennies, with the odd nickel or dime tossed in—typical of a college campus, she guessed. Most wouldn’t have more than that to spare, already living on dollar store ramen to pay outrageous tuition fees for degrees they weren’t even sure they’d ever use.

“How are you doing with that?”

Amethyst blinked. “What?”

Garnet sent her a meaningful look, and Amethyst let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “Why’s everyone always asking me that?” she asked rhetorically. “I’m _fine_ , G.”

Garnet continued to stare at her, though, and Amethyst felt herself shrinking rapidly beneath the gaze she couldn’t even see. Garnet was no Jenny, and Amethyst knew she wouldn’t get off so easily this time. She sighed again, softer this time, and subconsciously.

“I don’t know, G,” she said honestly. “I saw her in my last class, she was the TA. Of course, right? Perfect Pearl, I bet all the teachers love her.” She paused for a moment, then decided on the truth. “That’s why I’m here. She saw me in class and I kinda bitched at her—”

“Like you usually do,” Garnet supplied, helpfully.

“— _and then_ ,” Amethyst continued, ignoring Garnet’s input, “she got all defensive back and I just didn’t want to face her, so I booked it all the way here.” Amethyst sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, running a hand through her fluffy hair. “This isn’t—it’s not how I wanted college to start,” she muttered, staring down at her feet. “It was supposed to be fun—parties, booze, hook-ups…and all I can think about is stupid fucking _Pearl_.”

Garnet was silent for a moment, watching Amethyst with an intensity that made the latter flush slightly. Finally, she faced forward again, giving Amethyst a little relief. “It was never going to be easy. You’re not dumb, Amethyst. You knew that,” Garnet said, bluntly. “But it’s not always going to be so hard, either. You’re not used to seeing Pearl so often anymore. You’ll adjust, just like you’ll adjust to college life. And you’ll have fun. You wouldn’t be Amethyst if you didn’t. You just have to give yourself a little more time. I bet you tried to jump right in the deep end and just get it all over with at once.”

Amethyst flushed. In retrospect, that was exactly what she had done. Things tended to be easier that way—like ripping off a band-aid. “What’s wrong with that?” she asked, defensively.

Garnet turned back to Amethyst. “Nothing, most of the time,” she said. “But in this case, it means you’re trying to force yourself into something you’re not ready for. And when you force your own feelings, it just makes a bigger mess of everything.”

“Like today?”

“Like today.”

“When’s it going to stop being weird?” Amethyst asked, quietly, in an uncharacteristically vulnerable voice.

Garnet didn’t seem phased. “Nobody can answer that for you, Amethyst,” she said, simply. “Not even you. Some things just take time. And _patience_.” The last bit was said purposefully, and Amethyst immediately caught on, glaring at the ground. She’d never been famous for her patience. Garnet watched her for a long moment, then continued, “But it will get easier every day, too. And whatever you decide to do in the end…it’ll be okay eventually. That’s just how life works.”

Amethyst frowned in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘whatever I decide to do’? There’s nothing to decide.”

Garnet shrugged. “Then don’t worry about it,” she said simply, standing up and offering her hand to Amethyst, who reluctantly allowed her to pull her to her feet. “But I think eventually you’ll realize that there is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter three.
> 
> Ugh, I still feel like I’m in set up mode but it is what it is :/
> 
> Now feels like as good a time as any to confess that I’m in the minority who doesn’t want Mystery Girl/Pearl (Mystery Pearl? Lol) to become canon. It’s not that I don’t want Pearl to move on. I would LOVE her to be in a loving, mutual, monogamous (because it’s obvious she doesn’t share well and she was forcing herself to be okay with the polyamorous antics of Rose), equal relationship. It’s not even that I need her with Amethyst. I don’t. I’ve accepted that at this point, with their relationship basically mended and them still being platonic, it won’t happen. What I don’t like is the idea of Pearl moving on…just because she happened to meet a girl who looks exactly like Rose Quartz. Is that really moving on? Plus I guess I prefer the more dominant side of Pearl as opposed to her being the high femme of the relationship. I don’t know. It’s mainly the Rose thing. I’d rather her get with someone who looks nothing like Rose to prove to viewers (and herself) that she can fall for someone for reasons OTHER than ones they share with her precious Rose Quartz.
> 
> That’s my rant. No offense to anyone’s pairings, just something I had to get out.
> 
> Anyway, I’m not sure I like how I wrote the Pearlmethyst interaction, and it's hard for me to grasp Garnet as a character since she's so unlike me, so I'm a bit concerned about my characterization…but I don’t like most of what I write because I’m kind of a perfectionist. So leave a comment, let me know what you thought! :)


	5. what to expect when your roommate is a drug dealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot's roommate finally appears. Also, more unresolved Pearlmethyst angst (don't worry, we'll get to the good stuff soon).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for some of Peridot and her roommate's (who I'm sure you've all guessed by now but for the sake of keeping up the facade shall remain unnamed for this note) dialogue from FeathersHitTheFan. Thank you!!
> 
> Also, just in case this isn't obvious by now: this will be a slow burn on multiple accounts. I always love those most myself when reading, it makes it more worth it and entertaining to me. As for writing one...I seem to be incapable of writing a multi-chapter fic as anything but :P

“So how’s the roomie situation, P-dot?”

Peridot leaned forward. “I think,” she began in a whisper, glancing around nervously as if afraid they were being overheard, “she might be..." she paused dramatically, "a drug-dealer.”

Amethyst really _tried_ not to laugh. She _really_ did, because Peridot just looked so serious and she didn’t want to trivialize the girl’s concerns. But the first bout sputtered through her lips and it was like a dam breaking, and soon she was howling with laughter, pounding the table with her fist.

Peridot reeled back, looking royally offended. “What is so funny?” she asked, looking legitimately concerned for Amethyst’s health.

“Y-you think…,” Amethyst began between giggles, “your roommate is a...a _drug dealer_?!”

“ _Ssshhhh_!” Peridot lunged across the table and clapped a small hand over Amethyst’s mouth. Amethyst promptly licked it, causing the girl to reel back again with a disgusted expression.

“Your roommate is not a _drug-dealer_ , Peridork,” she finally replied once she managed to get ahold of herself (sort of).

 “How would you know?” Peridot retorted hotly. “And she _is_! I have _proof_!”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow, actually kind of curious to hear this. “Proof?” she asked.

Peridot rummaged around in her backpack for a moment before resurfacing with a detailed, color-coded chart of some kind. She slammed it on the table in front of Amethyst. “Proof!” she retorted.

“I know I’m gonna regret this,” Amethyst muttered, eyeing the chart warily. “But let’s hear it, then.”

Peridot, it seemed, had been planning on letting her hear it whether she’d agreed to or not, because she instantly launched into her diatribe.

“I reached out to her, just like _you_ suggested,” at this point she shot an accusatory glare Amethyst’s way. Amethyst, who was busy trying to clean out her nails with a mechanical pencil, missed it. “She got home late— _again_ —and I politely asked her where she had been that day and the day before, and—”

“Woah, woah, hold the phone,” Amethyst interrupted, holding up a pudgy hand to stop Peridot’s one-sided rant. “This was _before_ you even introduced yourself?”

“Introduced myself?” Peridot repeated, frowning in confusion.

“Yeah, like, ‘hi, my name is Peridork and I like reading chemistry textbooks and coming up with wild conspiracy theories in my spare time’.”

“Well, yes,” Peridot said, hesitantly, completely missing the sarcasm. “I thought her whereabouts were the more pressing issue…was that incorrect?”

Torn between the urge to roll her eyes so far back they saw the inside of her head and busting out laughing again, Amethyst merely slapped a hand to her face and let it fall slowly so that her eyes were visible over her pudgy fingers. “No, Peridot,” she replied, “that was totally smooth and socially acceptable.”

“Well, good,” Peridot said, matter-of-factly. “I thought so as well. Although I fail to see why you felt the need to interrupt just to tell me that. Anyway, as I was saying…”

Amethyst let out a loud groan and fell across the table as Peridot continued, completely unfazed, with her theory.

* * *

 

“…which leads me to my final piece of evidence—”

Amethyst let out a loud cheer, which Peridot pointedly ignored.

“—her _response_ to my original question.”

Amethyst sat up, genuinely interested in how this girl had responded to Peridot’s first words to her. “Which was…?”

“She told me, and I quote, ‘I’m a drug-dealer’.”

Peridot slammed her hands down on the table like a detective who had cracked a cold-case wide open and stared pointedly at Amethyst, as if waiting for her horrified response.

"Wait, so, let me get this straight,” Amethyst replied, resting her chin on her palm thoughtfully. “The first words out of your mouth are to basically ask a potentially personal question that is absolutely none of your business—”

“It _is_ my business if my safety is at risk,” Peridot cut her off hotly. “I deserve to know if there will be hitmen of angry, wealthy clients breaking down my door at three in the morning and taking me hostage!”

“Trust me, that would _not_ happen,” Amethyst replied dryly. “You’d open your mouth and they wouldn’t want to go anywhere near that pile of crazy.”

Peridot’s mouth snapped open indignantly, but Amethyst waved a hand dismissively. “Anyway,” she said, before Peridot could reply, “your first words to your roommate aren’t, like, to introduce yourself, or even say hi, but to ask her where she goes at night, and she tells you she’s a drug dealer?”

“ _Yes_!” Peridot replied, gesticulating wildly. “ _Now_ tell me she’s not a drug dealer!”

Amethyst rolled her eyes. “She’s not a drug dealer, Peridork,” she replied as she stood up to head to her next class and ruffled Peridot’s hair. The girl made an annoyed noise. “But I think the universe might’ve done the impossible and given you a roommate who can handle you and your crazy. You should introduce us—I’m curious now.”

* * *

 

Peridot agreed to introduce Amethyst not two days later, although whether her motives had more to do with being a good hostess or having backup in case of a drug deal going horribly wrong were more or less up in the air.

“Prepare yourself,” Peridot intoned as she and Amethyst approached the dormitory she shared with the dreaded roommate. “She’s not exactly the most…social…of people.”

“Unlike you,” Amethyst replied dryly.

“Exactly,” Peridot said. “I know that you’ve grown somewhat accustomed to my wit and social skills, so it may come as a bit of a shock.”

“Right.”

With a deep breath, almost as if she were steeling herself, Peridot swiped her keycard and swung the door open as if she were a cop on a raid.

“I’m home!” she called out, as if issuing a demand. Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Thank god, all this peace and quiet was really starting to get to me.”

Peridot jumped like a frightened cat, landing in a ridiculously comical pose with her hands out in front of her, as if preparing to fight off an invisible attacker. Amethyst raised her eyebrows at the blonde before turning in the direction from which the voice had come.

“L-Lazuli,” Peridot choked out. “I didn’t expect you to be home so early.”

Amethyst watched as a slender figure uncurled from a beat-up armchair in the corner of the room, where she’d apparently been watching a movie on her laptop. As the stranger stretched and began to approach them, the first thought that jumped to Amethyst’s mind was ‘blue’.

Short-ish, fashionably messy blue hair framed tan skin and sweet, delicate facial features that decidedly clashed with the sarcasm Amethyst had just heard. A loose, long-sleeved, blue and white striped slouch top exposed lightly freckled shoulders and a slender build. Even her shorts, ratty and falling apart at the seams in a way that made Amethyst unsure of whether the wear was intentional or not, consisted of a light blue denim. Her eyes, a complex and interesting shade of blue-brown, were heavily lidded and gave off the distinct impression of utter indifference.

            It was odd. She was almost exactly like Pearl in figure, slender and somewhat on the tall side (thought not so much as Pearl, who had at least a solid head-and-a-half on Amethyst), but completely opposite all at once. Where Pearl was rigid and constantly fretting over this, that and the other, this girl slouched and clearly could not give less of a damn if the entire building were to spontaneously catch on fire. Amethyst was struck by a sudden, morbid curiosity to see what would happen if the two girls met each other. Somehow, she highly doubted they’d take to each other.

“Ah, you know,” the girl said with a shrug, in response to Peridot’s question, “a big drug deal fell through, so…here I am.” She lifted her arms slightly out to either side before dropping them unceremoniously, as if she couldn’t be bothered to hold them up.

Peridot shot Amethyst a meaningful look, as if to say, ‘see?’. Amethyst just snorted and rolled her eyes, hopping up and balancing on the back of the couch, legs dangling decidedly unladylike over the cusions.

“I’m Amethyst,” she said. “I helped Peridot move in, I thought I’d come meet the lucky roomie.” She eyed the girl, who eyed her right back. “So, Lazuli…? Interesting name.”

“Lapis,” replied the girl, without inflection, as she knelt down near the mini-fridge and retrieved a water bottle. “That’s just what this one,” she nodded at Peridot, “insists on calling me. It’s not even my last name.” She fell back into the armchair, legs dangling carelessly over the side.

“It’s not?!” echoed Peridot’s nasally voice from the doorway, decidedly louder than necessary. Out of her line of vision, Lapis’ eyes flickered skyward for just the briefest of moments before returning to their deadpan default. Amethyst found herself wondering mildly whether this talent in eye-rolling was inherent or simply the product of sharing a room with Peridot.

“…what is it then?”

“It’s a secret,” Lapis said, and then, without missing a beat or changing expression, “so the cartels can’t track me.”

Peridot looked horrified.

Amethyst, on the other hand, thought she might bust a vessel restraining a throaty laugh. The roommate, Lapis, had a generally light, feminine voice, but the dry sarcasm that laced nearly every word she spoke quickly shed a more telling light on her personality. Said sarcasm was made even more amusing by the fact that Peridot didn’t seem capable of comprehending it in the slightest.

To distract herself from her growing amusement, Amethyst glanced around the room until her eyes fell on the laptop Lapis had been focused on when they entered. “Whatcha’ watching?”

“Orange is the New Black,” Lapis said, eyes not moving from the screen.

Amethyst’s brows shot up at her response, and the beginnings of a smirk played at the corner of her lips. “Oh really?” she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice. Lapis’ eyes flicked up from the screen to meet Amethyst’s gaze. “You _like_ that show?” she asked, her tone suggestive.

“Do you?” Lapis challenged mildly, with a masterfully raised eyebrow.  

“Touché,” Amethyst conceded, holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender and grinning playfully. Lapis, who didn’t seem fazed one way or the other, went back to her program.

“Ummm…” Amethyst blinked and turned her head back to the doorway, where Peridot was standing, looking completely lost. “What was that exchange all about?”

“You’ll understand when you’re older, P-dot,” Amethyst replied, reaching back and patting Peridot on the head. Blushing, the blonde ducked out from beneath the latina’s hand.

“Nyeh,” she grunted, batting Amethyst’s hand away and instinctively reaching up to fix her hair (though there was no real point, given its state of perpetual messiness). Amethyst snorted and hopped down from the back of the couch.

“I gotta head out—I’ve been putting off this bullshit ‘what I did over the summer’ paper and it’s due tomorrow,” she said, stretching her arms over her head. Lapis snorted.

“They still do those?”

“I know right? But yeah, apparently so. Anyway, it was nice meeting you, drug-dealer roomie.”

Lapis raised a hand in acknowledgement, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

“And I’ll see _you_ later, Peridactyl,” Amethyst said to Peridot as she passed her in the doorway, flicking the girl’s head and eliciting another odd noise in response. “Oh and hey, Lapis, how about fixing me up with some Mary-J?”

Peridot gave a comically loud, horrified gasp. Behind her, Lapis simply raised her right hand in a thumbs-up gesture as the door closed behind the Latina.

* * *

 

“Hey, Sadie?”

The chubby blonde looked up from her homework and at her roommate, who was laying flat on her back on her bed, tossing a purple stress ball at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“What would you do, if, like, you liked someone, like…a lot, and you kind of did something stupid because of it, and now it’s weird between you?”

“As specific as that was, I’m going to need a little more information than that,” Sadie said, closing her textbook and turning to face Amethyst fully. Her tone was teasing, but gentle, and Amethyst was sure Sadie had picked up on the less-than-hypothetical nature of her question.

Catching the ball and holding it between her hands, Amethyst pulled herself into a sitting position, though she still wasn’t quite facing Sadie. Her cheeks were slightly darker than usual as she toyed with the toy between her fingers. “I don’t know, like…,” she began, “like what if you knew this person would never like you back, and it hurt, so you pushed them away so it wouldn’t hurt as much.” _And to see if they’d come after you._ “Only now you’ve got to see them basically every day, and you don’t want it to be awkward and you don’t want to fight but you’ve kind of already ruined everything and…and you really don’t want to lose them for good.” Her voice petered out toward the end, sounding hesitant and entirely lacking in Amethyst’s usual boisterousness.

Sadie regarded Amethyst for a long moment, her eyes soft and empathetic. “Well…,” she began, “maybe, to start with, you could talk to them? I’m assuming they don’t know _why_ you pushed them away?”

“No!” Amethyst blurted, then groaned and clapped a hand over her eyes. “I mean, no, sh—I mean, they don’t. And I can’t tell them, they’ll never like me back and I don’t wanna make everything weird.” _And I think I just might die if I hear her say the words._

“Okay…but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them,” Sadie said, slowly, gently. She had, of course, picked up on the gender neutrality, but was too tactful to bring it up and didn’t really mind her roommate’s sexuality one way or another. “You could start small. Like maybe try hanging out with other friends at the same time, and just try to talk to them once or twice. You know. See how it goes. Or you could apologize and just not mention specifically why you pushed them away. Just say you were going through a hard time, or something.”

Amethyst snorted out a breath humorlessly. “And it’s not like it’d be a lie,” she added dryly.

“Exactly.”

Amethyst heaved a long sigh and tossed the stress ball aside. “Thanks, roomie,” she said with a small smile. “Sorry I interrupted your studying.” She gestured to the closed textbook, but Sadie just rolled her eyes and waved a hand, dismissing the half-hearted apology.

“Please, you did me a favor,” she replied dryly. “My head might have burst after another few minutes staring at all those numbers. Plus I’m getting hungry. Wanna go down to the dining hall?”

“What do _you_ think?” Amethyst replied with a grin, hopping off her bed and pulling on a pair of old black and purple skater shoes. “I’m always down for grub, yo.”

* * *

 

Sadie did most of the talking during their mini-adventure, which was a little unusual, but Amethyst didn’t really mind. She knew what she had to do and her heart was thudding nervously at the prospect already. She wasn’t sure the words would come even if she wanted them to. So she listened to Sadie talk about her classes and her professors, and vent about a boy she knew from her hometown who went to Crystal University as well and was apparently an arrogant jerk but who she could never seem to stop caring about, “no matter _how_ hard I try”.

A selfish part of Amethyst hoped that, like Sadie, Pearl still cared about _her_ , despite the distance between them.

A swell of hope lodged itself in Amethyst’s chest, one that she tried desperately to swallow down. Nothing good came from hoping.

Although…Pearl hadn’t seemed _angry_ until Amethyst had mouthed off. Maybe, even if she would never feel the same way about Amethyst, maybe she still cared, just a _little_ bit…

And that would just have to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drug-dealer part is the bit I got inspired for by FeathersHitTheFan (didn't want to spoil the chapter, just in case xP).
> 
> I hope you guys liked it, Lapis took me a while to write as a character. I really hope I got her character right, she's so entertaining to me in the series because I totally love the sarcastic, dry sense of humor. Feel free to tell me how I did in the comments section- comments always motivate me to continue! :)


	6. lessons in conflict resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl finally have a talk.

Awkward.

That was the appropriate way to describe sitting across the table from your crush whom you’d alienated years previously because of said crush, looking anywhere but at each other, while the rest of your friends chattered away around you, right?

Their large group, consisting of Jenny, Sour Cream, Buck, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, was sitting at a large table in the corner of the pizza restaurant owned by Jenny’s family, Fish Stew Pizza. While the rest chatted animatedly around them, Amethyst was sitting with her arms folded over her chest, having been lured under false pretenses and not having been prepared to talk to, or even _see_ Pearl. The latter was sitting rigidly opposite her, hands folded primly in her lap, though Amethyst was sure, judging by her nervous expression, those long slender fingers were tying themselves in knots. This certainly wasn’t the Pearl who had chastised her in sociology earlier that week, and given Pearl’s behavior after that (which basically consisted of completely ignoring Amethyst’s existence), Amethyst was left to wonder whether she’d given up on making Amethyst talk.

This thought left Amethyst with an odd mixture of relief and disappointment settling in the pit of her stomach.

Every so often she’d catch Garnet giving her meaningful looks, as if to say, “ _talk_ to her,” but Amethyst would just flush and look away, unaware that Garnet was sending Pearl the same looks.

She _knew_ she had to talk to Pearl, but when she’d come to terms with that, she’d been thinking future-tense, not less than a day after coming to said conclusion.

And yet, here she was, having accompanied her three high school friends to the Pizza’s restaurant, intending to relax and forget about Pearl, only to ‘unexpectedly’ run into the exact person she’d been trying to avoid, out with Garnet.

Amethyst pursed her lips, eyes narrowed in suspicion. She had a distinct feeling that, given how much prodding she’d been receiving on both sides, the meet-up hadn’t been as accidental as it seemed.

“So, Amethyst, how are your classes goin’?”

Amethyst glanced up, blinking out of her thoughts, to find the rest of the table watching her, including Pearl, who’d turned at Jenny’s question and was now staring at Amethyst with an expression of hesitant interest.

“Uh.” Truth be told, Amethyst was already late with a couple assignments. “Good, I guess. You know, when they don’t bore me to sleep.”

Jenny laughed, and across the table, Amethyst saw Pearl roll her eyes and mumble something that sounded like, “oh, honestly.”.

“Got somethin’ to say, Pearl?”

The words escaped her lips before she had time to stop them.

Pearl blinked, eyes wide. Clearly, she hadn’t thought Amethyst would hear her. After a moment, though, she seemed to collect herself, straightening in her seat and clearing her throat.

“Just that I think you’ll find it’s not as easy to get by in college without putting in any effort as it was in grade school,” she said, matter-of-factly, though her cheeks were dusted with pink. “If you’re already falling behind…”

“How is it any of your business if I am?” Amethyst retorted stubbornly. "You ain't my tutor anymore, _P_."

The table had gone silent. Jenny, Buck and Sour Cream were watching the two as if they were spectators at a tennis match, eyes darting back and forth between the two. Garnet was sitting back, observing the situation without a hint of discernable emotion.

Amethyst could literally _see_ the self-righteous indignance settling in as Pearl drew herself as tall as she could in her chair. “Well,” she replied hotly, “excuse me for being concerned about your academic career—”

“You’re excused.”

Pearl’s eyes narrowed and her chest puffed out, hands curling into fists at her sides. Amethyst trained her gaze on an empty table off to left, unwilling to show that the fighting was affecting her, too. It was oddly satisfying, getting Pearl all riled up. The taller girl had never been able to hide her emotions with much success at all, and for a few minutes at least, Amethyst felt like she was finally ‘winning’ in this dysfunctional, pointless competition at who could get under the other’s skin the most.

_Plus it’s the only way it feels like she cares anymore, even if it’s not in a good way._

“What is your _problem_ , Amethyst?” Pearl finally blurted, voice cracking slightly as her control began to waver. “What have I done to upset you?”

Amethyst almost laughed. _Almost_. She managed to keep _that_ inside, which was good, because god knew it would have driven Pearl right up the wall and onto the ceiling. What had she done to upset Amethyst?

She’d cared about her. She’d fussed over her. She made that ridiculous, irritated noise when Amethyst played stupid just to get under her skin. She made Amethyst fall in love with her, and then went and fell in love with someone who was Amethyst’s complete opposite. She was perfect. She was flawed. She was neurotic and emotional and clever and the densest person Amethyst had ever met. She was _Pearl_.

Unfortunately, none of those things were acceptable answers, and Amethyst remained silent as her jaw clenched from the effort of looking anywhere but at Pearl.

“ _Well_?”

Great. Now she sounded like she was about to cry.

“Right, well, we’re just gonna, uh, wait over here,” piped Jenny as she stood up, grabbing Sour Cream and Buck and dragging them along with her. Amethyst followed her with her eyes, a pleading expression on her features. Pearl didn’t look away from Amethyst as Garnet stood as well.

“Work it out,” she stated simply, her tone leaving no room for discussion, before she went to join Jenny and the boys.

Amethyst gave an exaggerated growl and made a point of slumping down in her seat, arms folded over her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Pearl shift nervously.

This was shaping up to be the most awkward day in Amethyst’s life.

Unsurprisingly, as Amethyst was steadfastly refusing to do so, it was Pearl who finally broke the agonizing silence.

“Amethyst,” she said, curtly.

There was a moments’ pause as Amethyst racked her mind for suitably insulting nicknames for Pearl. Out of time and coming up empty, she reluctantly grumbled, “ _Pearl_ ,” with as much negative inflection as she could put into the single syllable.

She heard rather than saw Pearl sigh, as she was still glaring at the table in front of her.

When Pearl spoke again, it was in a defeated, tired tone. “What _have_ I done to upset you, Amethyst?” she repeated, though the sentence was far less desperate than before. “I don’t even know…we were always _different_ , and we had our disagreements, but never like…like _this_.”

“People change,” Amethyst replied stubbornly. “You’re holding onto the past—”

“I am _not!”_ Pearl retorted hotly, shooting to her feet, palms pressed flat on the table. Her cheeks were flushed prettily, and her jaw was clenched in aggravation and determination. Amethyst, who had glanced up, startled by the volume, quickly averted her gaze, her own cheeks darkening. She hated arguing with Pearl, that was true, but…but there was something so _sexy_ about Pearl when she got fired up about something (usually something stupid Amethyst had done). The confidence, the pride, the authoritative tone…maybe Amethyst was a closet masochist. “There is a _difference_ between people inevitably changing over the years, and going from being…being _friends_ ,” Amethyst barely stopped herself from wincing at the word, not that Pearl, so impassioned, would have noticed had she not, “to _screaming_ at each other in the course of one _day_!”

Amethyst opened her mouth instinctively to snap back, then belatedly realized she had no adequate response for Pearl’s ever-flawless logic. Finally, she focused in on the one bit of what Pearl had said that she could use.

“You’re not holding onto the past?” Amethyst asked, voice far too calm. Pearl immediately noticed, and furrowed her brows. “So there’s nothing from the past you’re still clinging to? No _one_?”

Pearl went scarlet, and Amethyst knew she didn’t have so say anything else. “That…that is…,” the lithe dancer stammered, fingers clutching at one another anxiously. “That has nothing to do with this conversation,” she finally settled on, her luminescent blush ruining her stern façade.

Amethyst wanted to snort, to laugh in her face, to scream at her that it had _everything_ to do with this conversation.

But that would be all but laying her cards face-up on the table, and she wasn’t sure even Pearl was dense enough to miss a hint of that magnitude. She was a little surprised that Pearl hadn’t thought anything more of the little she _had_ said—she chalked it up to Pearl’s annoyance, combined with the shock of having been asked such a question seemingly out of the blue. She’d been too flustered to question _why_ the question had been asked in the first place.

“Yeah, whatever,” Amethyst muttered, averting her gaze to the table where Garnet and the trio sat. “We done yet?”

“Are we—” Pearl mouthed for a long moment, evidently flabbergasted. “ _No_ , we are not ‘ _done yet_ ’!” she squawked, complete with air-quotes. “We are not _done_ until you tell me why you continue to be so…so _hostile_!”

Amethyst snorted at this. “ _Hostile_?” she replied, tone laced with dry humor that wasn’t really humor at all. “When have I ever been hostile, Pearl? I’ve never laid a finger on your perfect, fragile body.” She heard the words a second after saying them and wanted to smack herself for it.

Luckily, Pearl, caught up in the heat of the moment, seemed not to have noticed her slip. “You know full well that’s not what I was referring to,” she said, fixing Amethyst with a piercing glare. Amethyst glared right back at her until Pearl let out a heavy sigh and fell back into her seat, looking both frustrated and tired all at once. “Is it so hard to just tell me what I did wrong? I can’t fix anything until I know what it is I did to upset you so much.”

Amethyst felt a sharp pang of guilt in her chest. “It’s…nothing,” she said, the fire suddenly fizzling inside of her. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, _please_ , Amethyst!” Pearl’s tone was rising again. “You can’t tell me this all started just because you didn’t _feel_ like being friends anymore.”

Amethyst scoffed. “Friends?” she repeated, tone bitter. “We were never _friends_ , P. I was some dumb, younger kid you tutored.” She leaned back in her chair, playing with the straw in her drink.

Pearl blinked.

“Is…is that…is that what all this has been about?”

Glancing up, Amethyst was taken aback by the wide-eyed, almost _hurt_ expression Pearl was wearing. “Uh…”

And then she saw it. The light at the end of the tunnel. Her out.

“Yeah…I guess,” she said after a moment, glancing away from Pearl, her hand rubbing her arm abashedly. If she could just play her cards right… “I guess I just felt like…like you didn’t really…” _Shit_ , what now?

But Pearl was way ahead of her. “Like I didn’t really _care_ ,” the taller girl said, gasping quietly and raising a pale hand to her mouth, eyes wide in apparent horror. “Oh, _Amethyst_ …”

Amethyst felt her cheeks flush. _God_ , this was embarrassing, even as a way out of telling Pearl what had _actually_ driven her to push her away. But that was just Pearl being _Pearl_ , always with the overdramatization and emotional BS. Seeing her so apparently torn up over this did cause a little more guilt to well up inside Amethyst, but she quelled it by reminding herself that it wasn’t exactly _untrue_. She had always felt a sort of barrier between them due to the nature of their tutoring relationship. It just hadn’t been enough to drive her to push Pearl away so fervently that it ruined their entire relationship. It was true—it just wasn’t the _whole_ truth.

And fuck her sideways with a baseball bat covered in sandpaper if she ever admitted the _rest_ of the story to Pearl. She didn’t think she could bear the pity in those sky-blue eyes—as it was, she could barely stand the hurt now.

Quite suddenly, Pearl practically lunged at Amethyst, her torso nearly flat on the table as she grabbed Amethyst’s pudgy hand in her own slim ones. Amethyst jumped at the sudden contact, then felt her cheeks darken further as she met those determined blue eyes.

“Amethyst, I have _always_ cared about you, and I _always_ will,” Pearl said, emphatically, as if giving an oath, seemingly unaware of the otherwise full restaurant they were seated in. Amethyst wanted to simultaneously leap into Pearl’s arms and sink into the ground. Only Pearl. “And I’m so, so sorry if I… _that_ I ever made you feel any different.”

“Yeah, okay, I get it,” Amethyst replied, eyes flitting around the restaurant in embarrassment. “Just sit down already, okay? People are, like, staring.”

Pearl rolled her eyes and, in direct contradiction to Amethyst’s plea, flounced—literally _flounced_ , sometimes Amethyst swore Pearl danced more than she walked—around the table to throw her arms around Amethyst in a tight embrace.

In that moment, Amethyst forgot all about her embarrassment—mostly because she was so busy being overwhelmed with everything that she _remembered_.

Pearl’s surprisingly solid arms. Pearl’s scent (fabric softener and something unnamable, sweet—Amethyst’s amortentia). Pearl’s body pressed tightly against hers (but never tight enough).

At some point, unconsciously, Amethyst raised her own arms to wrap around Pearl’s midsection (the highest point she could reach from the uneven vantage that resulted from Pearl standing and Amethyst sitting, added onto their normal height difference), pulling the dancer tighter against her and receiving an encouraging squeeze in return. Her eyes felt hot and swollen. Recognizing the feeling through the haze, she blinked back the tears and, though she would rather die than admit it later, buried her face in Pearl’s fabric-covered stomach, seeking the comfort she’d always found in the older girl.

After a moment, she became vaguely aware of Pearl murmuring comforting words to her, something along the lines of “shh” and “I’m sorry.”.

It took her several seconds after that to remember where she was and yank away from Pearl, cheeks severely flushed. It was a bit of a struggle, because Pearl, true to her surprisingly clingy nature, didn’t seem to want to let go. When she did manage to break free, Amethyst snapped her head around only to find all of her friends watching them, expressions ranging from the classic “aww” to infuriatingly shit-eating grins.

“Damn it, Pearl,” Amethyst muttered under her breath, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze by steadfastly staring at the floor. "We're in public."

Instead of arguing or huffing, she heard Pearl chuckle—God, she’d missed that melodic sound—and felt the latter run a teasing hand through her hair (a second later it turned into fussing and Amethyst batted her nitpicking fingers away, grumbling under her breath).

A few seconds later Amethyst felt her friends settle back around her, though Pearl took the seat directly beside her this time, and raised her gaze, though her face was still flushed.

“All that pickin’ at each other, and you guys coulda just worked it out this whole time,” Jenny said, shaking her head in admonishment. “You guys are stupid.”

Pearl looked mildly insulted by this comment, but Amethyst just rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Jenny, go make out with your boyfriends.”

“Maybe I _will_.”

Amethyst laughed at her friend, who shot her a wink before standing up again, dragging said boyfriends with her. Then her gaze wandered over to Garnet, who hadn’t spoken a word since she’d sat back down.

“’Sup, G?” she asked, in a brave attempt at her usual brashness. “Happy now?”

Garnet stared at her (she _thought_ —she was still wearing those damn sunglasses) for a long moment before saying anything. “I’m happy as long as you’re happy,” she finally said, shrugging, her tone enigmatic.

Amethyst felt a stab of defeat in her chest. So Garnet, at least, hadn’t bought it.

Pearl, on the other hand, didn’t seem to pick up on anything amiss, and soon leaned forward, toward Garnet, and launched into a play-by-play account of her day. Amethyst didn’t hear a word she said because it was Pearl, and naturally she was bored out of her mind. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with the fact that Pearl’s hand was lightly resting on her leg. Pssh. Amethyst hadn’t even noticed that.

Still, Pearl did seem intent on keeping some form of contact with Amethyst through their entire stay at the pizzeria, and by the time they left, Amethyst was feeling some serious whiplash, having gone from virtually no Pearl-contact at all for three years to the tall dancer practically gluing herself to her for the entire night. She supposed it was to prove a point, that she did care about Amethyst, or whatever. If she was even thinking about it. Pearl did have a tendency to just…cling.

And that, Amethyst realized with a sinking feeling, was going to be a whole new hurdle to jump now that they were back on relatively friendly terms. She’d managed to talk things out with Pearl (albeit relatively one-sidedly) without revealing her feelings—now she had to be friends with Pearl while keeping up the façade.

* * *

  _Ah, well_ , Amethyst thought as she curled up on her bed later that night and attempted to get comfortable on the hard, plastic-coated mattress (she seriously needed to invest in a mattress pad). Surely she’d get used to it with time. And who knows, maybe once they started talking a little more, she’d realize she didn’t even have feelings for Pearl anymore.

The sound of Sadie’s soft, steady breathing eventually lulled Amethyst to sleep, and the worries were banished from her mind as simple, meaningless dreams took their place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. It's so...anticlimactic. In the end I kind of figured I was never going to be satisfied with it so I just rolled with it because it's not like the big confession scene or anything. It was tough to write because I kind of just had to get it out of the way. I promise, I do have big, interesting ideas for this story--it's just getting the relationships to the stage I want them in that's taking forever, I'm sorry :( Thank you all for bearing with me and being so encouraging at that. I hope you guys still enjoyed it, at least. 
> 
> As always, please leave a review, they make my day! :D


	7. peridot's situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is hard when you're Peridot Diamond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who needs a relationship when I have fanfiction to keep me warm at night?  
> …  
> I made myself sad T_T

Peridot Diamond was not, what you might call, a particularly… _social_ person.

And she was perfectly happy like that. As long as she had her snacks and her games, Peridot was perfectly content to be left on her own. She _preferred_ it that way. Nobody to bully her, or annoy her, or touch her stuff.

Speaking of which...

She didn’t get the impression that her roommate, Lapis _Lazuli_ , was particularly social, either. Still, for some reason unbeknownst to Peridot, she seemed to have made it her mission to get on Peridot’s nerves in the most _irritating_ way possible. So much so, in fact, that Peridot was beginning to wonder whether the other girl didn’t do it on _purpose_ for some sadistic reason.

Like this morning, for example, when Peridot had rolled out of bed ten minutes before her morning class was due to begin, still half asleep, having been up past two in the morning gaming in the common area, and gone to grab her brush only to find a strand of long, blue hair clinging to it.

“ _Lazuli_!” A muffled groan came from the direction of their shared bedroom. “How many times do I have to tell you: _don’t touch my stuff!_ ”

Several seconds later, Lapis trudged out of the bedroom, bleary-eyed, the blue hair in question sticking out at odd angles even as Lapis ran a heavy hand through it. “What the hell are you yelling about this early in the morning?” she asked, her voice hoarse from sleep.

Somehow, the fact that Lapis still managed to look so damn attractive despite having _just_ rolled out of bed and otherwise looking a complete mess only served to magnify the ire rising in Peridot’s chest. “ _This_!” she exclaimed, all but thrusting the evidence in Lapis’ face.

Lapis arched a brow.

“You woke me up…for a _brush_?”

“It’s what’s _on_ the brush, you clod!”

This caused the other eyebrow to disappear beneath tousled blue bangs. “ _What_ did you just call me?” Rather than annoyance, her tone was laced with burgeoning amusement, which only irritated Peridot further.

She yanked the offending strand from the brush and marched into Lapis’ personal space. Lapis didn’t so much as blink as a small hand was thrust inches from her face. “I found another one of your _byproducts_ on my personal belongings!”

“ _Byproducts_ , seriously?” Lapis replied, tone laced with disbelief and the beginnings of annoyance. “It’s a strand of hair.”

“ _Your hair_!” Peridot shook the offending strand in Lapis’ face, though it pretty much just dangled anticlimactically. “On _my brush_!”

Lapis scoffed and rolled her eyes before turning on her heel and walking back into the bedroom without a word.

“Where do you think _you’re_ going?” Peridot shouted after her.

“Back to _bed_!” Lapis snarked in reply, before slamming the door behind her, leaving Peridot alone in the living area, blue hair still dangling limply from her fingers.

* * *

 

And that was only the most recent event. It seemed her roommate was a cornucopia of anxiety waiting to happen.

For example, there was the fact that Peridot had, on more than one occasion, spied Lapis in the company of a veritable goliath of a girl whose name remained to be noted. It seemed that whenever Peridot saw Lapis outside of the dorm (which was a lot more often than Peridot saw Lapis inside of it), she was slouching around with this girl like some kind of ambivalent trophy wife, occasionally accompanied by other similarly rough-looking people.

Peridot had never _personally_ interacted with this girl, but from what she could tell from her stealthy observation, she was nothing but trouble, always in the center of any roughhousing or loitering right in front of the various buildings, smoking cigarettes when there were clearly designated smoking areas _all over_ campus.

And of course, the brush incident had not been the only time Peridot caught Lapis touching her stuff, just the latest of many. It wasn’t like Lapis didn’t have her own stuff to touch, or that she particularly enjoyed touching Peridot’s stuff—thus, Peridot had to surmise that she did it for the simple purpose of making Peridot’s life miserable.

Convinced that she had the worst roommate on the face of the planet, Peridot had asked (it was actually more like marching up to her and demanding) that Amethyst switch roommates with her.

“Nah, she’s hot, but we’d probably end up pounding the duck, and then it’d get all awkward.”

Peridot hadn’t understood what the problem was, nor why abuse of ducks would be an inevitability. It had taken Amethyst several minutes to stop laughing long enough to explain what ‘pounding the duck’ actually meant, after which Peridot, face so hot she was practically steaming from the ears, had decided that Amethyst was not going to be of any use.

Also, Lazuli was not ‘hot’ in any sense of the word.

When Peridot informed Amethyst of this, the latter had snorted and asked what planet she was from. Which was pretty a stupid question, considering that Peridot was obviously a human being from Earth. And even if she wasn’t, Peridot failed to see the relevance of that question in said context.

She supposed Lapis was _conventionally attractive_ , from an entirely objective standpoint. But Peridot had never had a boyfriend _or_ girlfriend, and thus was woefully inexperienced in the whole ‘romance’ process. Even if she _were_ attracted to Lapis (and she _wasn’t_ , thank you very much), she wouldn’t know where to begin, and thus Lapis’ looks didn’t factor into the equation for Peridot. She was obnoxious, and she kept _touching_ Peridot’s _stuff_ , and she had to go.

Unfortunately for her, the student union rejected Peridot’s claim for a single dorm, citing that ‘because other people are stupid’ was not a valid reason to warrant a room change.

So Peridot was stuck with Lapis as a roommate for the foreseeable future. The mere prospect made her cringe—she was probably going to have to get a safe for all her things if she wanted the other girl to stop touching them—but as there was nothing to be done about the situation for the time being, and Lapis was rarely home anyway, Peridot forced herself to put it aside and focus on other things.

* * *

 

Like having friends for the first time in her life.

If that’s what Amethyst was. Peridot wasn’t quite sure. Past experiences made her hesitant to make such a huge assumption on her own, as she knew firsthand the pain of considering someone a friend only to realize she’d been mistaken.

_"Who’d want to be friends with **you** , nerd? Fly back to your home planet, nobody wants you **here**.”_

Clenching her small hands into fists, Peridot swallowed hard, as if she were literally swallowing the memory down to where it couldn’t reach her.

“Hey, Peridactyl, you okay?”

"Nyeh!"

Peridot felt a warm, chubby hand wrap around her wrist and gave a start, reflexively jerking away.          

“Um, okay…,” Amethyst said, slowly, frowning in confusion as she pulled her arm back. The two girls were sitting in their shared English class, not doing much of anything. The teacher had announced free time to work on homework for other classes (which Peridot thought was lazy teaching), and Peridot had already finished all of hers, while Amethyst just didn’t care.

“…sorry,” Peridot mumbled after a moment. She hadn’t meant to yank her arm away like that, and found herself hoping she hadn’t hurt Amethyst by doing so.

Amethyst, however, seemed to understand or, at the very least, be perceptive enough not to take it personally. She waved a hand dismissively. “No worries, sorry if I startled you.” She glanced around the room. “Hey, after this, you want to go do something?”

Peridot frowned, confused. “Do…something?”

“Uh, yeah?” Amethyst chuckled. “You know, like, hang out.”

“Oh!” Peridot had never been asked to ‘hang out’ before. “Um…where?”

Amethyst shrugged. “I dunno, man, we’ll think of something,” she replied vaguely. “I’m just bored out of my skull with all this schoolwork, it’s time to have some _fun_.”

‘Fun’ made Peridot feel slightly anxious. But Amethyst didn’t seem to be setting her up, at the very least. And as much as she hated to admit it, she really, _really_ wanted to have a friend, and that’s what friends did, right? They had fun together.

“…sure,” Peridot said, just a little hesitantly, after a moment’s thought. She just hoped it wasn’t too big of an event. She wasn’t great with large groups of people. Or small ones, for that matter. Or people in general. She tended to be awkward, and that tended to make her stick out like a sore thumb, which had made her an easy target so many times before.

But this was college. College was a time for fresh starts, and Peridot Diamond decided that she was going to make these elusive ‘ _friends_ ’, even if it did make her a little uncomfortable.

* * *

 

“We’re here!”

Peridot glanced around, dubiously. “…and where exactly _is_ ‘here’?” she asked after a moment.

Amethyst was holding her arms out wide, as if grandly introducing something, but all Peridot saw was an old, run-down building.

Amethyst looked at her as though she was crazy, arms still outstretched. “ _Dude_!” she said, with the air that Peridot had just said something blasphemous. “We’re only at the funnest place in the city—the Crystal Arcade!”

“Crystal…Arcade?” Peridot repeated, hesitantly, but Amethyst was already dragging her toward the building. After entering through the nondescript door, they tramped down a set of carpeted stairs and were met with another door. When this door opened, Peridot realized what Amethyst had been talking about.

It was a whole other world from the shabby exterior. The place was lit almost solely by colorful arcade games and tastefully placed neon lights, while the huge floor pulsed with retro-themed beats. The arcade games took up most of the space in the room, but there was also a wall of cutting edge computers that had Peridot all but drooling, a few pool tables off to one side, and something that looked like a bar of some sort toward the back, its counters outlined in pink neon.

“So?” Amethyst asked as she watched Peridot excitedly. “Isn’t this place the _best_?”

“I…wow,” Peridot replied blankly.

Amethyst laughed. “You’re new to this city, aren’t you?” she asked. Peridot blinked, startled out of her stupor by the odd question. She nodded, and Amethyst grinned. “I thought so. I figured otherwise you’d know the place. You’re always up late gaming, right? I thought you’d like it.”

“I…you…” Peridot couldn’t seem to make proper sentences form on her tongue. The place was overstimulating her senses in the best way possible with all its neon and background game sounds. “Wow…”

“Usually people just say ‘thanks’,” Amethyst teased.

“Wow, thanks,” Peridot replied in a nasally monotone.

Amethyst burst out laughing and ruffled Peridot’s hair, eliciting a now-familiar noise of annoyance. “You’re awesome, P-dot,” she said. “Come on, let’s go get some quarters.”

Peridot allowed Amethyst to pull her through the room, her mind now repeating Amethyst’s words.

“ _You’re awesome, P-dot_.”

A pretty pink flush formed on Peridot’s freckled cheeks.

* * *

 

“You’re home late.”

“ _Gah_.”

Peridot gave a start and whipped her head around, body hunched and wide-eyed, as if she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. When she caught site of Lapis, once again curled up in the beat-up armchair, her body relaxed, but only slightly. She shot her roommate a narrow-eyed look.

“You’re one to talk.”

Lapis raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, then turned her attention back to her laptop, effectively shutting down the conversation. Peridot huffed and retreated to their shared room, returning a moment later with a tank top, a pair of alien-head print boxers and a neon green towel.

She was unsurprised when, a few minutes later (Peridot had never been one for taking long showers), she returned from her shower to find Lapis exactly where she had left her. Just before she reentered their room to get ready for bed, she paused and glanced back at the blue-haired girl.

“You’re home…early,” she said.

Though her response had come more than ten minutes late, Lapis glanced up and met Peridot’s gaze from the chair. After a moment, she turned back to her laptop without a word. Peridot was just setting up to get irritated over being ignored when Lapis spoke.

“Yeah, I was gonna go sell my body for drugs, but then I got my period,” she stated in her characteristic deadpan.

Peridot felt her face flush in spite of herself. “You know, Amethyst explained to me about sarcasm.” It had been a long, frustrating discussion on both ends. “I know you’re not actually a drug dealer. And, by the way, I don’t appreciate being lied to.”

“Hey, you seemed pretty dead-set against me from the start,” Lapis replied, a trace of annoyance seeping into her tone. It sounded weirdly out of place compared to her usual deadpan. “Forgive me for trying to have a little fun with it.”

“I…I was _not_.”

Lapis scoffed and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Whatever, Peridot,” she replied blandly, tone back to normal. “It’s not like it really matters or anything, I’ve had way more threatening people think way worse of me way more often.” She turned in her seat, regarding Peridot for a moment, and the messy-haired blonde found herself left with the distinct impression of being x-rayed. “Although I guess a grumpy hamster is more threatening than _you_ , so…”

Peridot very nearly growled at this comment. “At least I’m not always going around clinging to some hulking giant like a glorified trophy wife,” she retorted hotly.

This proved to be a mistake. Peridot instantly felt a rush of guilt, and even if she hadn’t, the cold glare in Lapis’ eyes would have frozen her inside out.

“You really shouldn’t talk about things you don’t know shit about,” Lapis replied quietly, in a very measured, calculated voice that told Peridot she better shut up before she _really_ put her foot in it. Peridot’s eyes snapped to her feet, jaw clenched, in a silent gesture of submission. For all her bluster, Peridot knew she, with her limp arms (though Lapis’ were thinner) and stuttering, wouldn’t win in a fight of any kind against Lapis.

There was silence between the two for a long moment, and then Lapis continued in her usual deadpan, as if she hadn’t just scared Peridot speechless. “A call came for you while you were out,” she said, nodding at the phone on the wall. “Apparently they want to see you in the dean’s office. Guess I had you pegged all wrong, you rebel, you.” A small smirk cracked her lips in a rare show of emotion.

It faded, however, when she glanced up at Peridot, who hadn’t said a word.

The blonde had gone deathly pale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUM BUM BUUUUM.
> 
> I actually looked up metaphors for, you know, doing it, and picked the one I thought was most appropriate/Amethyst-like.  
> I know there’s an arcade in-universe. I actually used that one originally, but since it’s established in-universe, it already has its canon look, you know? I thought it’d be easier to get the effect I wanted by just making up a new one xP
> 
> SO! This chapter was all about Peridot after last chapter being all pre-Pearlmethyst. I plan on doing these little spotlight chapters every once in a while for the recurring characters (many more to come!), hopefully you guys enjoy! By the way, I know Amethyst is pretty…well, not depressed in this chapter. I figured with her and Pearl at least on speaking terms, she’d be more upbeat and kind of push the remaining issue to the backburner.
> 
> Anyway, you guys are awesome! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please leave a review :) Look forward to the next chapter!


	8. running away (you couldn't escape!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new face and the reason Amethyst is going to die young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I had this chapter mixed in with my next one, which addressed the Peridot cliffy, but then I got a bit...carried away and my slimming efforts did little to nothing to help (much like in real life xP). So I split them. Have a fluffy-ish, angsty-ish wishy-washy chapter about basically nothing. But it was necessary for future chapters. So there :P

 It was official. Pearl was going to kill Amethyst.

Not like, literally, ‘chop her head off slowly with a butter knife’. The other way. As in, ‘be the death of’.

Amethyst had always known Pearl to be a clinger. She had clung to Rose Quartz until she’d no longer been able. She’d clung to Garnet, like the tall, dark woman was her human life raft. It was like she gravitated toward the strongest female figure and latched on (the men did nothing for her—in fact, they seemed to quite repulse her).

It had made Amethyst incredibly jealous, back in grade school. Even back then, she’d known there was a difference in the way Pearl touched her versus the way Pearl touched, say, Garnet. Pearl gave Amethyst pats, or light touches, much like one might pet a ‘good dog’, and while Amethyst treasured the contact that was afforded to her, out of the corner of her eye she would see Pearl unconsciously grab Garnet’s arm or hand and feel completely and utterly inferior. Garnet never pushed her away—she never responded, either, or reacted in any way. In a way this made it easier to bear, and far harder in another. Was it so common that it was second to breathing to Garnet?

Of course, Amethyst had eventually, with age, realized that she didn’t necessarily _want_ to be Pearl’s life buoy. It always looked somehow…uneven when she did it with Garnet, like Garnet was the protector and Pearl the fragile flower. And that may very well have been. Maybe it made Amethyst stupid for wishing, but if Pearl were ever to suddenly, out of the blue realize that she loved Amethyst with her whole heart and Rose Quartz had only ever been a phase (ha), Amethyst wouldn’t want to exist by her side solely as her bodyguard. She would want to protect Pearl from being hurt, of course—more than anything. But the rush she felt when she imagined Pearl protecting _her_ , defending _her_ honor…well, as cliché as it sounded on paper, it made Amethyst’s chest clench in the most amazing way.

That being said, now that they had (somewhat) worked out their relationship, at least to the point where they weren’t constantly at each others’ throats, Pearl seemed to be trying to make up for Amethyst feeling like just a tutee to her in triplicate, and Amethyst was dying.

Every time Pearl and Amethyst were within a five-foot radius of each other, Pearl was running her fingers through Amethyst’s hair, or sitting too close to her and tapping out a nervous rhythm on Amethyst’s thigh, or otherwise endangering Amethyst’s life by means of extreme heart palpitations.

It had gotten so bad that Amethyst had taken to casually skirting Pearl, finding some excuse to go across the table or talk with a friend.

Don’t get her wrong. It was what she had wanted—the closeness, the touches, the affection—ever since she’d seen that nerdy little peach-haired girl with the teal headband that day in the library. It was just that there was one crucial piece missing—she and Pearl were not actually _together_. And each time Pearl held her or grabbed her hand or rested her chin subconsciously on Amethyst’s head (their height difference did allow for this to be an unconscious action, sadly enough), Amethyst came a little closer to just blurting everything she’d fought so hard against saying out in one go.

* * *

 

And that’s how she found herself, one Saturday afternoon, after twenty miles and nearly three hours bus-time, sprawled out on a worn couch in a familiar home that she hadn’t’ visited in years.

“I’m _literally_ dying.”

“Figuratively,” a voice mused from the kitchen, the speaker unfazed by Amethyst’s dramatics.  “You’re _figuratively_ dying.”

“ _Ugh_ , what _ever_! The point is, it’s only been like two weeks and I can’t even be at the same table as her at Fish Stew.”

“And this is a problem,” came the reply, not a question so much as a statement. A moment later, a middle-aged woman in overalls stepped into the living room, arms folded over her chest as she surveyed the pathetic mass of splayed limbs that was Amethyst. A paintbrush was tucked into a mass of dirty-blonde hair, which had been pulled (rather carelessly) into a messy bun. “I never understood why all you kids loved that place so much. I mean, just the name alone…”

Amethyst gave another pained groan and rolled her eyes. “Not the point, Vidalia,” she replied dryly.

“I know,” the woman, Vidalia, said simply. She maneuvered the cramped living room (cluttered with easels and half-completed paintings) to sit down on the end of the couch beside Amethyst. “Feet off the couch.”

“ _Ugh_.” But Amethyst slid her feet off obediently—or, rather, her whole lower body, given her current position on the couch.

“Better,” the older woman said with an amused smile.

It was an odd friendship. Vidalia was old enough to be Amethyst’s mother— _was_ , in fact, Sour Cream’s mother (as well as his…strange…brother Onion). But Vidalia was calm, collected; she never judged, but always had a word of advice. Their friendship had begun over the course of several long painting sessions. Vidalia, an artist, had wanted to paint Amethyst, and though she was completely embarrassed and had no idea why Vidalia would want to use _her_ as a model instead of someone like Pearl or Jenny, she had readily agreed. It had been a lot of sitting, and they eventually struck up some incredibly deep conversations just sitting there in Vidalia’s garage that she’d converted into an art studio.

Amethyst had ended up opening up to Vidalia about her feelings for Pearl as easily as if it were everyday conversation during one of these sessions. Vidalia had, of course, known already, having been there when Amethyst was a rowdy middle schooler, running around and boasting about her super pretty, nerdy tutor to her friends. Still, it had shocked Amethyst that the words had come so easily, and that she felt so much better after saying them aloud, and ever since then, she’d come to Vidalia when things just got to be too much to handle.

Plus, Vidalia was, like, super cool, and not just for an adult. Amethyst had seen the pictures of her when she was younger and spent her days chewing bubblegum and hanging around backstage with various bands. She’d been smoking hot, too—not that she wasn’t still an attractive woman, but, like… _damn_. Amethyst would’ve been on that ass like white on rice. Being Amethyst, she’d said as much, but Vidalia had just rolled her eyes and told her to keep it in her pants.

“I may have to, like, live here now,” Amethyst said. “With how crazy she’s driving me. I can’t fucking stand it, V.”

Vidalia patted Amethyst’s head sympathetically. “Well, you know you’re always welcome here, Amethyst,” she replied. “But I’m not sure that’s the best way to deal with everything college throws at you.”

“It’s not college, man, it’s _Pearl_!” Amethyst exclaimed, throwing out her arms in an exasperated gesture.

Vidalia smiled and shook her head. “I know you’re not exactly the bookish type, Amethyst,” she said. Amethyst frowned, slightly confused at the sudden change of subject. “But I also know that whatever you may claim otherwise, you’re a smart. And you’re certainly not stupid enough to actually believe that running away from something like this is going to fix _anything_.”

Amethyst didn’t reply immediately.

Of course she knew that.

But…

“It just…,” she began, before sitting up and yanking a hand through her hair in frustration, “I _know_ I can’t just run away forever. But…it helps to know I _can_.” She sighed in exasperation, unable to properly convey her thoughts.

Vidalia, though, seemed to understand. She reached out and ruffled Amethyst’s hair, receiving a grunt and a half-assed swat in return. “Well, then,” she said, letting go of Amethyst and allowing the Latina to sit up properly beside her, “as long as you know that, you can run away here as often as you want.” She patted Amethyst’s thigh and stood up. “Now that all that deep shit is out of the way, how about I make some popcorn and we find some lame horror movie on Netflix?”

* * *

 

It was well after midnight by the time Amethyst made it back to campus. She’d lost track of time at Vidalia’s, and then the bus ride back to campus had been even longer than the one to Vidalia’s house. Still, she felt better—somewhat, at least.

As she was nearing her room, she passed Sadie in the hall. “Good luck,” the blonde intoned, causing Amethyst to frown and glance back at her in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Sadie just shook her head and headed toward the common area, where the boy with the curly red mohawk from the first day was waiting impatiently.

Amethyst, still a little befuddled, slowly turned and let herself in through the door Sadie had just exited.

“Where have you been?”

“ _Jesus_!”

Amethyst jumped about a foot in the air as the sharp voice rang through the otherwise silent room. One hand pressed unconsciously to her chest, Amethyst turned in the direction of the voice…only to find Pearl standing in front of her, arms folded over her chest, eyes narrowed down at her.

"The hell are you _doing_ in here?” she asked, ignoring Pearl’s question (read: demand).

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Your roommate let me in,” she said, waving dismissively, as if that were not the point at hand. “I didn’t see you at dinner, so I came by to make sure you weren’t sick—”

“More like make sure I wasn’t skipping,” Amethyst grumbled.

“—and she told me you hadn’t been around since you left this morning,” Pearl continued, as if Amethyst hadn’t spoken. “So I decided to wait for you, and—”

“Aww, was ickle Pearlie worried about me?” Amethyst interrupted again in a mocking tone.

“Of course I was!” Pearl shot back, eyes glaring daggers into Amethyst’s.

Amethyst blinked. She hadn’t been expecting that.

Pearl used her momentary silence to her advantage. “ _Anyway_ ,” she continued, louder this time, cheeks slightly pink, “I tried to convince Garnet to stay with me, but she seemed disturbingly unconcerned.”

“Maybe because I’m a college student who can do whatever she wants and stay out as late as she wants without getting a mouthful from the Inquisition?” Amethyst replied sarcastically, though Pearl’s quick admittance of concern had sent her heart flip-flopping.

Pearl huffed.

“Just because I’m talking to you again doesn’t mean you get to get all up in my business,” Amethyst muttered. In hindsight, she shouldn't have been so surprised, though, since Pearl had always had a bit of a tendency to meddle. “Do you treat all your friends like this?”

“Well…no,” Pearl admitted, her accusatory posture failing her as her flush darkened and her fingers began to twiddle as they did when she got nervous. “It’s…different with you, Amethyst.”

“Why?” Amethyst asked, pushing past Pearl and into the bedroom. If they were going to do this, she was going to be comfortable during. She hopped onto her bed and glared down at Pearl in an accusatory manner. “Because I’m younger? I thought you said we were _friends_.” She cut a glare to Pearl. “But you’re treating me like I’m some idiot kid sister or something.”

"Oh, Amethyst—you _know_ that’s not what I meant,” Pearl replied, tone colored slightly by frustration. “It’s not that I don’t see you as a friend,” _friend_ , again, the word was starting to rub Amethyst the wrong way, “it’s just…well, it’s how it’s _always_ been. You were always getting yourself into trouble, and getting yourself hurt…I _worry_ about you, Amethyst, I can’t change that.” She paused for a moment. “And I won’t apologize for it.”

By this time, Pearl had somehow managed to sit gracefully on the bed (despite the fact that Amethyst’s guess had been right and even her feet didn’t touch) next to where Amethyst was sprawled. She pushed Amethyst’s feet out of the way and pulled her legs beneath herself so that she was facing the younger girl.

Amethyst groaned as she felt the expectant blue gaze bore into her. “Ugh, Jesus, Pearl,” she muttered as she pulled herself into a sitting position, trying valiantly to hide the darkness blooming on her cheeks. “You’re so embarrassing.”

“It’s only the two of us here, Amethyst,” Pearl replied dryly, rolling her eyes.

Amethyst’s heart clenched and for a moment she found herself breathless, as if someone had punched her in the solar plexus. That was right. They were alone, weren’t they? Not that it made any difference… Shaking herself from her thoughts, Amethyst returned to the present. “Doesn’t matter,” she said, shrugging. “You’re embarrassing enough even in private.”

“This coming from the girl who once ate a moldy sponge from underneath the school cafeteria sink.”

“That was for a _dare_!” Amethyst loudly defended, her cheeks darkening for a whole different reason now. Pearl was giggling behind her hand, though, eyes filled with fondness, and Amethyst couldn’t bring herself to be truly upset with her for bringing up the incident when she looked so genuinely _happy_. It was a rare look for Pearl, she realized with a start—true, carefree happiness. She found herself irrationally proud of being the one to bring it out in her. “You’re always saying sappy, cringe-worthy shit in like, totally normal conversation. Not that barging into someone’s room uninvited—”

“Your roommate let me in, I most certainly did not _barge_ —”

“—really counts as _normal_ in _any_ situation,” Amethyst continued, raising her voice to drown out Pearl’s defensive reply. “I could have you suspended for, like, stalking, or something.”

Pearl made a noise somewhere between a shriek and an indignant squawk. “You _wouldn’t!”_ she replied in an affronted tone that clashed prettily with her luminescent blush. “I was _concerned_!”

“Right, and that gives you the right to stalk me?”

“I was not s _talking_ you, Amethyst,” she replied, flushing darker still, “and you know it.”

“But does the _dean_ know it?” Amethyst replied cloyingly, grinning toothily. She was no longer particularly annoyed, and she’d missed this, the back and forth, the teasing, the getting Pearl worked up until she didn’t know what to do with herself. “I bet human resources would be interested…”

“ _Amethyyyst_ ,” Pearl whined, her head now buried in her hands, elbows propped on her knees for support. Amethyst cackled, holding her belly, but stopped teasing.

After Amethyst’s laughter had died, Pearl lifted her face from her hands and studied the Latina wordlessly for a long moment. Growing increasingly restless with each passing second, Amethyst finally cracked. “What?” she asked, sharper than she’d intended.

Pearl just shook her head and, without warning, leaned well into Amethyst’s personal space, her nose only centimeters away from Amethyst’s own. Amethyst felt her heart screech to a stop. It was taking literally every last ounce of her willpower not to glance down at those soft, baby-pink lips, but she knew if she did, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from kissing them. Still, they were like a magnet, calling her attention, refusing to be ignored…it was like fighting the urge to blink, and sooner or later, it was a battle she was going to lose...

After what felt like an eternity (but was probably, in reality, only a few seconds), Pearl reached up and brushed a handful of Amethyst’s very overgrown bangs back behind her ear, fingers dusting over dark caramel-colored skin as she did so. “That’s better,” she murmured, distractedly, as she ran her fingers through Amethyst’s thick locks before pulling her hand away. Thankfully, for Amethyst’s sake, her body moved back with it. “Nobody can see your eyes with your bangs in your face like that.”

“So?” Amethyst managed to mumble, eyes focused on her wardrobe behind Pearl. She was uncomfortably aware that she had just come very close to blowing her cover. “Like I care if people can see my eyes or not.”

“That’s a shame,” Pearl replied, no longer facing Amethyst, instead looking out the window above Sadie’s bed. “You’ve always had such beautiful eyes, Amethyst.”

This girl was _trying_ to kill her. That must be it. Pearl actually hated her and was actively _trying_ to kill Amethyst by means of internal hemorrhage from all the blood rushing to her face.

And she’d thought this was going to be hard _before_ …in her haste to forget about Pearl and every feeling tied to her, she’d only really managed to forget what it felt like to be touched by Pearl, to be cared about by Pearl. She’d forgotten how often the little touches came, how worried Pearl always got… She hadn’t accounted for having to keep her feelings in check while being fawned over by Pearl in a way only Pearl could do completely platonically.

Amethyst did regain her voice fairly quickly, in her defense. “This is what I mean by embarrassing,” she said, rolling her eyes in what she hoped was a convincing manner. “Just randomly getting all up in my business and saying I have pretty eyes—”

“Actually, I said they were beautiful.”

“They’re _brown_ , P.” This time the eye roll came naturally. “You keep saying corny shit like that and people are gonna think you’re gay.”

_What the **fuck** , Amethyst? Are you a fucking masochist? Dangerous waters. Dangerous fucking waters! You just basically accused her of hitting on you!_

Despite Amethyst’s inner freak out, Pearl merely scoffed. “Please,” she said, waving a long, slender hand dismissively, “as if they hadn’t already figured that out. I have made it quite clear that I am wholly uninterested in any men who have attempted to court me.”

Slowly recovering, Amethyst gave a small chuckle. “Yeah, that’s right—I remember one time that Ronaldo weirdo asked you out and you looked at him like he was a fucking parasite that’d crawled into your food and basically hid behind Garnet.” She laughed more readily as the memory came back to her. “You basically, like, stomped on his balls before you even said anything.”

Pearl flushed darkly, the memory clearly coming back to her as well. She pulled back slightly, curled fingers pressed to her lips in concern. Amethyst could watch her little finicky gestures all day and never get tired of it… “It wasn’t _that_ bad,” she denied, though she did look slightly guilty. “…was it?”

 Amethyst shrugged. “I guess it wasn’t any worse than the way you look at any other guy who gets too close,” she replied. It was perfectly true. Pearl looked at practically all men who got into her personal space like they were living-breathing pathogens. It was kinda funny, actually. Though probably not so much for the guys… At least Amethyst would never have to worry about a guy coming and stealing Pearl away from her.

_Not that she’s yours to be stolen._

There was a moment of silence, before Amethyst broke it.

“So…can I, like, go to sleep now?” she asked playfully. “Or are you gonna take me in for further questioning.”

Pearl’s cheeks pinkened again. “Oh, hush,” she replied as she stepped down from the bed—she didn’t hop, of course, because she was Pearl, and that would be ungraceful. “Yes, you can go to bed.”

“Thank you, your _majesty_.”

The tall dancer fixed Amethyst with a glare that was only half serious as the latter dove beneath her many covers. “Next time, just…at least tell someone where you’ll be next time you plan to be out past midnight,” she said, not quite meeting Amethyst’s eyes. “So I won’t worry.”

“Maybe ‘mom’ would be a better title than ‘your majesty’, actually,” Amethyst commented, which earned her a flick on the forehead. She opened her mouth to complain only to be rendered breathless when soft, warm lips replaced the mild pain.

“Stop smarting off and go to sleep,” Pearl replied, or, rather, demanded as she straightened, one hand going instinctively to check her hair. She turned to leave, then paused in the doorway. “Where were you, by the way?”

Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Relax, P, I was just with V.”

“ _V_?”   

“You know, _Vidalia_? Sour Cream’s mom?”

Pearl made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat that sounded something like, “ _hhhmmn_ ”. Amethyst rolled her eyes again. She’d bet Pearl was annoyed that she couldn’t dig into Amethyst about choosing her friends wisely or some shit.

“Well, goodnight, anyway,” Pearl finally said, apparently unable to find a lecture point in Amethyst’s answer. She pulled the door quietly to behind her, and a moment later she heard the suite door close as well.

With a rather impressive sigh, Amethyst fell back against her pillow.

She didn’t care what Vidalia said. Amethyst was going to die young, because Pearl was going to fucking kill her just by being _Pearl_.

_That's some ironic fucking Harry Potter 'neither can live while the other survives' shit right there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go. Another chapter. It actually turned out ridiculously long despite trimming and separation of chapters- I actually don't know where the length came from, I can only assume it's me getting carried away with fluff as is par for the course for me. Next chapter will address the Peridot cliffhanger.
> 
> Also, unrelated: a (slight) addendum to my anti-Mystery Girl mini-rant (although I have no problem with the character as a person I suppose). I have come to the conclusion that I could MAYBE get behind the relationship (apparently it’s confirmed she’s coming back) under certain strict conditions. Because I can accept that Pearl has a type, regardless of whether it aligns with my shipping preferences or not. I, for one, am partial to tall, curvy/thick brunettes. Does that mean I only notice them because they resemble an ex-lost love? No. In fact the person who hurt me the most romantically (and friendship-wise) in my life was a blonde. So it’s unfair of me to hold that against Pearl. However, since Pearl is clearly NOT over Rose Quartz (Mr. Greg was the tip of the iceberg in my opinion, and more about Pearl’s problem with Greg than her relationship with Rose), I will only back this relationship if Mystery Girls turns out to be nothing like Rose personality-wise, and Pearl either (a) realizes what she’s done and breaks it off and goes on recovering in healthier ways from there, or (b) realizes that she, to her surprise, still has feelings for Mystery Girl despite this realization. I have nothing against Mystery Girl (even if I do secretly wish for Pearl to be the top in the relationship—I must reluctantly accept that she likes to play the princess), more what she stands for. And if the show manages to avert that trope while simultaneously invoking it, well…as a writer, much like I love villains despite their evilness due to their brilliant characterization, who am I to diss brilliant show-writing?
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone who took the time to review! You guys are awesome! Please remember to leave a review this time as well- I always love seeing that notification on my screen that I have a new comment! :D


	9. assignments and second first impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot meets with the dean and she and Lapis share something that could be mistaken for a 'moment'.

What had she done?

What could she have possibly done to anger _her_?

Peridot could feel her heartbeat way up in her throat as she entered the administration building. Her legs were shaking like Jell-O, barely steady enough to keep her small body upright, and it took her several tries before she was able to summon enough strength to push open the heavy wooden door.

It was another stairway and multiple long, ominous hallways before she came to the proper office. She paused in the doorframe, unsure whether or not to knock, though there was no actual door.

After several moments, the figure at the desk glanced up. Sharp blue eyes raked her body, judging her down to the sharpied-on alien heads on her green converse, all within a fraction of a second. Then a bored look fell over sharp features like a mask.

“Can I help you?” the slender woman asked. Her voice was slightly nasally, much like Peridot’s own, but it was much more confident, even bordering on smug. Her platinum blonde hair was styled in an immaculate feathered pixie cut, and her clothes (definitely all designer name, though Peridot knew nothing by way of actual names) hardly seemed suited for a workplace outside of a ritzy club, all flowing ruffles and clinging fabrics.

“U-uhhmm…yes, I—,” Peridot swallowed thickly while the receptionist looked on through bored, half-lidded eyes. She was wearing quite a bit of makeup, Peridot noticed vaguely. Most was eyeliner, done in a cat-eye style that Peridot really didn’t think was suited for a school environment, but maybe things were different in college. She was also donning glittering yellow eyeshadow and impeccable French tips, which were currently tapping her desk in poorly (if at all) disguised impatience. “Oh! Yes, sorry…Peridot Diamond, I was, uhm, sum—called here. By the dean.”

This caught the woman’s attention. “Diamond?” she asked, her voice rising an octave. “As in…”

“My aunt,” Peridot quickly interjected. It was slightly more complicated than that, but she didn’t trust her tongue to formulate anything more than that at the moment. “Dean Diamond is my aunt. On my father’s side.”

The woman pursed pouty lips, once again surveying Peridot.

Peridot fidgeted. She wasn’t sure how to feel about all this inspection.

Finally, the woman, eyes never leaving Peridot, picked up an expensive looking smartphone, pressed two buttons, and put it to her ear.

"Hello...Dean Diamond?”

Peridot was taken aback. The woman’s tone now, compared to the one she’d used with Peridot just a moment before, was almost unrecognizable. Peridot wasn’t sure she’d go so far as to call it _simpering_ , but…

“Yes, of course…how are you, ma’am?” At this point, the woman turned to the side, and Peridot slumped a bit, feeling the tension leave her in an almost tangible wave. “Is there anything you need? …the reason…? Oh, yes! There is a student here to see you, ma’am.” There was a pause. “She says her name is…Peridot Diamond, ma’am.”

The person on the other end suddenly raised their voice with their next words, so much so that Peridot, while unable to make out what was said, could hear it from across the room. For her part, the slender woman had jumped, long fingers pressed to her chest in surprise, her eyes wide, expressing just the smallest trace of fear.

“O-of course, my—Dean Diamond,” she replied, stumbling a bit over her words in her haste to comply. Setting the phone back on the desk, she whipped her head back around so that she was facing Peridot again. “She wants to see you,” she said simply, her tone back to the somewhat snotty one she’d been using before. The effect was somewhat jarring. “Immediately.”

Peridot’s heart gave a painful thud in her chest as she nodded and walked past the receptionist’s desk on unsteady legs. She’d been afraid of that.

* * *

 

“Close the door.”

Peridot scrambled to do as she was told, tripping over her own two feet in her rush to comply. She heard an audible sigh from behind her, and hurriedly pushed the door closed a little too loudly in her semi-panic. Then she turned back to face the imposing woman at the desk in front of her, hands clasped behind her back in an unconscious show of respect. They were hot and clammy as her fingers picked at themselves, hidden from the dean’s line of sight—a nervous habit she’d picked up in middle school.

“Sit down.”

Peridot sat, or, rather, fell into the nearest chair.

Watching Peridot with hard green eyes that made the latter want to sink into the floor, the dean picked up the phone on her desk, identical to the one the receptionist had used before.

“Audrey. Cancel any appointments while we are talking. I am not to be disturbed.”

Peridot heard, faintly, the receptionist’s distinct voice say something short in response. The dean hung up and set her phone aside.

She pressed her palms on her desk and stood up. Her height always intimidated Peridot, no matter how often they met. Curvy and muscular, her aunt easily topped six feet, though Peridot was unsure of her exact height. Like her receptionist, her aunt also had short blonde hair. Unlike the prim receptionist, however, whose hairstyle was all femininity and fashion, the dean’s hair was worn, as it had always been, in a slick, no-nonsense pompadour.

When all the parts were brought together, despite her fairly womanly figure, the dean of Crystal University gave off the distinct impression of a grizzled drill sergeant.

“You took your time getting here,” were the first words out of her mouth. “I don’t like to be kept waiting, Peridot. You know this.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Peridot addressed her feet. “I apologize.” And then, quickly, before she could think better of it, “The office was already closed when I got back to my room.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” the dean replied sharply. “Don’t let it happen again, or there will be…consequences.”

Peridot felt a shiver run down her spine.

“Do I make myself clear?” her aunt continued, voice hard and impassive.

Clenching her jaw, still staring down at her feet, Peridot nodded. The dean’s eyes narrowed warningly, and she quickly rectified her mistake, “Yes, ma’am. Crystal, ma’am.”

Dean Diamond raised her chin, eyes scrutinizing her niece for a long, tense moment before she deemed this answer acceptable.

“Well, then,” she said, stepping around her huge desk and sitting on the top of it, crossing her legs and arms so that she was staring directly down at Peridot. “With that nasty business out of the way…I have an…assignment for you, Peridot.”

Peridot felt her body go cold, from the pit of her stomach right down to the clammy palms of her hands.

* * *

 

“Fuck you, dude!”

“You suck at this, man,” Lapis replied with a rare chuckle as she sped around Amethyst’s wrecked Ferrari.           

The two were hanging out in Lapis and Peridot’s room. Amethyst had just shown up at the door looking for Peridot, and when she’d realized the blonde wasn’t there, had simply strolled in past Lapis rather than leaving. The two were currently playing co-op in Forza Horizon 3 on Peridot’s Xbox, squished together on the latter’s bed.

“Seriously, though, I can’t believe Peridot lets you use her Xbox,” Amethyst remarked. “Usually she goes batshit over people touching her stuff.”

“Huh?” Lapis replied, blankly. “Oh, no, I didn’t ask her.”

Amethyst glanced at the blue-haired girl, who was watching the screen with what Amethyst was beginning to recognize as her default expression of blatant disinterest. Then she shook her head, a disbelieving laugh echoing from her lips. “No wonder she’s always complaining about you touching her stuff.”

A flicker of a smirk passed over Lapis’ lips. Her car, a Ford Focus (blue, obviously) streaked past the finish line and she dropped the controller in her lap, reaching her arms over her head and intertwining her fingers in a languid stretch. “Maybe if she didn’t leave her shit out all over the place, I wouldn’t touch it,” she replied, shrugging.

“Dude, we’re playing _her_ game on _her_ Xbox on _her_ bed.”

“Hmmm,” Lapis intoned vaguely. “Or maybe I just like fucking with her.”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow, her plump lips curling into a mischievous smirk. Never one to pass up even the smallest, most juvenile opportunity, she pounced. “I didn’t know you felt that way, Lazuli,” she said, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Lapis replied without missing a beat, tone utterly serious. “Just my type—short, nerdy and high-maintenance.”

Amethyst snorted. “Take it easy on her,” she said. “You’re gonna give her ulcers or an aneurysm or something.”

Lapis rolled her eyes, reaching over and grabbing the water bottle from her desk. “She’s going to give _herself_ an ulcer or something,” she replied dryly, bottle halfway to her lips. She took a drink, then continued, “She seriously needs to chill out. I’m kind of worried she’s gonna give me _secondhand_ ulcers, actually.”

Amethyst opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of the suite door opening, then clicking shut again quietly. A few seconds passed and Peridot appeared in the doorway, her bookbag dangling from one hand, her laptop case from another, looking well and truly beat down. A glance at Lapis’ slightly widened eyes told her the blue-haired girl was thinking the same thing she was: what the fuck had happened to this girl?

Peridot was so apparently lost in thought that it took her quite a while to realize that she wasn’t alone in the room. She just stood there, staring at the floor for a long minute, before slowly glancing up, her eyes landing on the two other girls for a solid second before she gave an exaggerated start, her bookbag falling to the ground.

“Gah! What are you two…” Slowly, the situation (rather, their exact location) seemed to dawn on her. “Amethyst…? What are you two…what are you doing on my _bed_?”

For once, Lapis didn’t seem to have a dry retort at the ready. Peridot’s uncharacteristic behavior appeared to have rendered her momentarily speechless.

“Hey, P-dot, everything okay?”

It was Amethyst who spoke.

“Huh?” Peridot blinked slowly before her gaze focused on Amethyst. “Oh! Yes, of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Uh, sure…” Amethyst hopped down from Peridot’s bed and stepped up to Peridot, heedless of the latter’s personal space. Peridot’s cheeks flushed as Amethyst reached a pudgy hand up to press against her forehead. She twitched slightly, as if to jerk away, but stayed in place, green eyes following Amethyst’s hand. After a moment, Amethyst lowered her hand. “No fever,” she said. “But seriously, are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird.”

“I—I just got here!” Peridot retorted, stammering slightly, clearly flustered. From her position cross-legged on Peridot’s bed, Lapis cocked an eyebrow in mild interest, but said nothing. “If anything, I should be asking you what’s going on, actually! What were you two doing on my bed?”

“Fucking.” “Doing it.”

The two girls replied in tandem, before each turned and gave the other an approving glance.

Peridot’s cheeks, already pink, lit up like a stop light. Lapis snorted in amusement while Amethyst simply bust out laughing.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Peridot managed to mutter as she dropped her bag by her wardrobe, though the furious blush detracted somewhat from her sarcasm. “Whatever, just get off so I can go bed.” She directed this at Lapis, who still hadn’t bothered to move. The blue-haired girl raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. She had expected somewhat more of a fight than that.

Amethyst, it appeared, was thinking along the same lines, as the girl’s features had morphed into a slight frown. “Alright,” she said, slowly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”

“I suppose,” Peridot replied, begrudgingly, though Amethyst knew her too well by this point to take the tone seriously. She grinned and wrapped her arms around Peridot in a tight hug, lifting the girl’s toes right off the ground.

“Nyagh!” Peridot threw her arms tightly around Amethyst’s neck to balance herself while the Latina laughed heartily. After a moment Amethyst set her gently down and ruffled her hair despite the blonde’s grumbling.

“It’s a promise, then,” she said. She raised a hand in farewell as she turned and headed out the door. “See ya, Lazuli.”

“Whatever.”

Silence filled the room after the suite door slammed shut behind Amethyst. It weighed heavily on the two girls as Peridot went around getting ready for bed and Lapis lounged on her own bed, having finally vacated Peridot’s.

It wasn’t until the lights were out and both girls were in their respective beds that the silence was broken.

“Did something happen with the dean?”

It was Lapis who spoke, casually, as if asking about the weather. The bundle of blankets on Peridot’s bed twitched slightly, but it was a long moment before Peridot replied.

“Why do you care?” she asked, her tone more accusatory than she had intended. After all, she had tried to extend an olive branch to her roommate only to be met with sarcasm and mockery.

“I don’t.”

Peridot huffed beneath her blankets and pulled them tighter around herself, curling up beneath them like a cat. _Stupid Lazuli. Of all the roommates to be stuck with…_

A good five or ten minutes of silence passed between them, and Peridot was starting to think that Lapis had fallen asleep, until she spoke again.

“It’s just weird, is all,” she said. Peridot, peeking out through a gap between blanket and bed, saw her roommate lying on her back on top of her covers, arms folded behind her head. “Usually I can’t get you to shut up, and then you come back from the dean’s office like a zombie or something.”

Peridot didn’t reply.

“I mean, she didn’t… _do_ anything…did she?”

It took Peridot a moment to digest this sentence, spoken so hesitantly and lacking in Lapis’ usual level of disinterest. When she did, however, she shot up like a rocket, her blankets pooling around her waist. “No! No, no, of course not!”

Across the room, Lapis, who had sat up slightly in response to Peridot’s sudden movement, seemed to let out a nearly imperceptible sigh. “Alright,” she said, her tone back to its usual deadpan, as if it had never waivered. “Well…good.”

Peridot stared at her roommate as if seeing her for the first time. The only light in the room was coming from the tiny gaps between the blinds over Lapis’ bed, but it illuminated enough to show Lapis looking more human than Peridot had ever seen her before, her features for once showing traces of emotion, though they were too faint for Peridot to place which. She must have been staring a bit too hard, because after a moment, Lapis reached up and scratched at the back of her neck embarrassedly. She turned her head away from Peridot and cleared her throat, and Peridot could have sworn in the second before she turned, Lapis’ cheeks had been flushed.

“Yeah…so, yeah. I’m just gonna…sleep, now,” Lapis mumbled, sounding embarrassed as she flipped onto her side, facing away from Peridot.

Peridot watched her roommate’s form for a moment longer before realizing that she should probably stop staring. Blushing for the nth time that night, but her heart feeling lighter than it had all day, she pulled her covers back over her head.

Maybe Lazuli wasn’t the _worst_ roommate to be stuck with.

_Maybe._

It was almost enough to take her mind off the meeting with Dean Diamond. 

Peridot wasn't sure she could carry out the 'assignment' her aunt had given her. Surely, anybody else...

But it wasn't a choice for her to make. Not with things standing as they did. She would just have to _make_ it work.

It was at least another long hour before Peridot fell into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Yellow Pearl. I don't know why, I just adore her. I spent forEVER looking for a name for her. And then I thought of Aubrey Posen from Pitch Perfect who I also adore (despite the vomit) and was like 'Aubrey--Audrey' and that's where I got it. Her last name is Blaine by the way, it means yellow (apparently). I'm more or less just writing that here so I don't forget later on xD
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry there was a bit more of a wait, it's been a long couple weeks and I've been exhausted...also it took me forever to come up with the last bit of this chapter. I hope it reads okay D: Thanks as always for your awesome reviews! I hope the whole Lapidot scene wasn't too much of a leap, guys, it was pretty hard to write.
> 
> As always, please remember to comment/review, it really is a huge motivator for me! :D


	10. a twisted sort of tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Diamond's mysterious machinations are set in motion, and Lapis and Peridot bond. Kind of.

Violet Periwinkle loved her job.

 

She loved it not only because she was surrounded by her favorite things, but because it conformed so effortlessly with her personality. She didn’t like noise, and though very few jobs offered refuge from it, working in a library meant that Violet enjoyed a peaceful, stress-free work environment as well as being able to read on the job.

 

_Slam!_

Well, usually quiet and stress-free. Violet gave a start, but didn’t raise her head from her book. Not yet. No student would dare approach so aggressively, and most of the faculty wouldn’t dare to make such a racket in the library. She didn’t need to see the painstakingly manicured nails tapping on the counter to know exactly who they belonged to.

 

“I need you to find a book. Now.”

 

Slowly—ever-so-slowly—Violet raised her head and, beneath her dark blue bangs that obscured most of her face, saw the person she’d come to associate with that demanding, nasally voice.

 

“Polite as ever,” she said quietly, in a demure tone that belied the faintest hint of mockery. “How are you today, Audrey?”

 

A vein seemed to throb in the slender blonde’s temple. She opened her mouth as if to bite out a nasty remark, but snapped her jaw shut instead upon realizing that Violet hadn’t actually said anything insulting. “Fine,” she spat out finally, then added, “though growing less and less patient by the second.”

 

Violet fought the urge to allow a small smile to form on her lips. Audrey was always stomping in here, acting like she owned the place because she was the personal assistant of Dean Diamond, and was frequently snotty and louder than necessary. She had irritated Violet at first, but it hadn’t taken the blue-haired librarian long at all to realize that Audrey’s bark was far worse than her bite—in fact, it would be more accurate to call it a front. Whenever Audrey came in, all clacking heels and bad people skills, Violet was inexplicably reminded of a house cat who fancied itself a lion. Thus, rather than irritate her, Violet was surprised to find that she quite enjoyed Audrey’s frequent trips to the library.

 

“Hmm,” Violet hummed as she pulled up the library’s catalogue on her computer. “What is this incredibly important book called?”

 

Audrey narrowed her eyes at Violet’s tone, then huffed. “The _dean_ wishes for me to bring her the school records for the years 2007-2013,” she said, putting great emphasis on the word ‘dean’.

 

Violet raised her eyebrows beneath her bangs. “Why would she need such old records?”

 

“Dean Diamond does not have to explain herself!” Audrey snapped, predictably. “I’m sure she has a perfectly valid reason for needing to look over those records. She’s so intelligent, and forward thinking, I can’t imagine where this school would be without her…”

 

Amusement sparked in Violet, and she allowed the tiniest hint of a smirk to show on her face as she peeked around the corner of her computer screen and leaned forward on her elbows to face Audrey. “You really…admire Dean Diamond, don’t you?” she asked, choosing her words carefully. Audrey frowned at her, though out of confusion for her expression rather than anger.

 

“Of course!” she said, matter-of-factly. “She is a strong, intelligent, bold…”

 

“Sexy,” added Violet.

 

“Sexy, wom—wait- _WHAT_?!” Audrey nearly shrieked, her face going the color of the freshly picked poppies decorating the counter. “I never said that!”

 

“So she’s not…?” asked Violet, chin now resting on her intertwined fingers, as she innocently cocked her head.4

 

“I—I never said…that either…it’s not that she’s not… _appealing_ to the eye…I just—I mean…” By this point, Audrey looked as though she was in danger of having a heart attack. Violet sat back with a small smile adorning her delicate features, taking great inner amusement for having so easily unraveled the other woman’s smug, bossy front.

 

Audrey caught sight of this smile and leaned forward, narrowing her eyes, her cheeks still blazing. “You think you’re so _clever_ , don’t you?”

 

Violet cocked her head again, and pretended to think for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t presume to think of myself as more intelligent than those around me…however, present company withstanding…”

 

“You are _infuriating_!” Audrey snapped, turning on her heel and marching away from the desk.

 

“You don’t think the dean will be upset if you return without these?” Violet asked, sliding several large, spiral bound volumes onto the counter. She smiled sweetly at Audrey when the latter whirled around, sharp blue eyes settling on the books she had forgotten.

 

“I could have you fired, you know,” the blonde huffed as she stomped back over to the counter and snatched the books into her thin arms. “For making up such…ridiculous accusations!”

 

Violet raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t make them up,” she replied, just as sweetly as ever. “I simply heard it from some students. Didn’t you know? Your relationship with the dean is quite the hot topic.”

 

Audrey’s eyes widened in surprise as her face reddened even further. “You…just...” Violet smiled sweetly. “Go fall off a shelving ladder!” she snapped under her breath. Then she whipped around and stalked out of the library in a huff.

 

Violet turned back to her computer, a small smile having replaced her usually deadpan expression.

 

She _really_ loved her job.

 

* * *

 

Peridot squirmed uncomfortably in her hard, plastic chair.

 

She could _feel_ Lapis’ deep, unreadable blue eyes boring into her. It was if she, Peridot, were a block of ice and Lapis’ gaze was an intense heat laser, slowly drilling a hold through the back of her head.

 

Her roommate had been watching her with said intensity for several days now, ever since Peridot had come back from her appointment with the dean. It made her nervous, and was starting to severely impede her academic progress.

 

Finally, something seemed to snap in Peridot’s mind, and she leapt to her feet, her chair scraping noisily behind her.

 

“Would you stop it?!” she yelled, her hands braced on the table in front of her.

 

Silence.

 

Slowly, as her irritation simmered back down to a dull pounding, Peridot’s surroundings came back to her. It was lunchtime. She was in the cafeteria. She was sitting (rather, standing) at a table with Amethyst. Who was staring at her, eyebrows raised. Slowly, Peridot chanced a glance around her—hundreds of eyes were now fixed on her in addition to the original, piercingly blue pair.

 

“Ah…ahahaha…” Slowly, Peridot sank back into her chair and kept sinking until her nose was level with the table.

 

The volume began to rise again, though not before Peridot heard a snort coming from the same direction as the stare had been. She whirled around, eyes blazing, to find Lapis chuckling into her hand. She leapt up from her seat and was about to confront her roommate when another pair of eyes caught her attention. It was the huge, hulking girl with the striped skin that Lapis was always hanging around. Her eyes were a fierce, almost topaz color, and _the look in them reminded Peridot of a tiger pacing its cage, waiting for a chance to strike._

Suddenly feeling a lot less brave, Peridot slunk back to her seat, where Amethyst was watching her with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

 

“Sooo…,” the Latina began, “what was _that_ all about?”

 

Peridot flushed. “She—Lazuli—has been staring at me,” she said, her voice little more than a mutter. “For a few days now. It’s very…disconcerting.”

 

Amethyst raised her eyebrows. “That’s why you just exploded like that?” she replied. “Geeze. You seriously need to work off some of that tension. _If_ you know what I mean,” she added with an overdone wink. Peridot flushed darker still, but rolled her eyes and didn’t grace the innuendo with a reply. “Maybe Lapis over there can help you.”

 

This time, Peridot wasn’t able to control her reaction, and choked on her Mountain Dew. “Wh- _what_?” she coughed, staring at Amethyst through teary eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“You know…” Amethyst waggled her eyebrows lewdly.

 

“Ugh, gross,” Peridot replied, though her tone didn’t sound as sure as her words.

 

“What do you mean, ‘gross’?”

 

Peridot started and let out a catlike yelp. Lapis was leaning over her, one hand resting on her hip, the other dangling limply by her side as she looked down at the messy-haired blonde with a raised eyebrow. “L-Lazuli!” Peridot spluttered, fumbling with her soda bottle, which she’d nearly overturned in her shock.

 

“Yo, Lapis,” Amethyst greeted, raising a hand in acknowledgement. Lapis nodded at her before turning back to Peridot.

 

“So, what’s this about me being gross?” she asked, her tone pointed as her eyes burned into Peridot’s hunched back. Amethyst’s gaze was alternating between the two, her mouth slightly open, as if she were watching a tennis match.

 

Peridot had no idea how to answer. She couldn’t tell if Lapis was actually angry, or just messing with her, as both were fairly common. “I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean _you_ were gross,” she stumbled, all the while leaning slightly away from Lapis. “Just that...”

 

“Just that fucking me would be gross,” Lapis finished blandly.

 

“YES! I mean, no, I…” Peridot flinched while Amethyst guffawed. The messy-haired blonde heard her roommate let out a long sigh—her eyes were squeezed shut in anticipation—and then, to her shock, felt not a blow, but the table shift slightly as Lapis sunk into the chair next to her.

 

After several seconds (which felt much longer to Peridot) of tension, Peridot was alarmed to see that Lapis was shaking slightly. Had she really hurt her roommate’s feelings? Crap, she didn’t mean to! And now Lapis was crying, oh god, what was she going to do, she wasn’t _good_ at this!

 

“Uh…Laz—Lapis?” she began timidly, “please don’t…”

 

And then Peridot heard a decidedly unladylike snort, and Lapis lifted her head slightly, and—she wasn’t _crying_! She was _laughing_ at her!

 

Peridot felt her cheeks heat up. “What’s so funny?” she demanded, though she ended up sounding more confused than angry.

 

Lapis just shook her head and dissolved into giggles once again, her laughter broken only by the occasional snort. Peridot’s brows drew together, and Amethyst watched, eyebrows raised in amusement, from across the table.

 

It was a little annoying, but after a moment, Peridot found it hard to draw her eyes away from Lapis Lazuli. She’d never seen Lapis genuinely smile before, let alone break into uncontrollable giggles. She must have one of those odd senses of humor, Peridot speculated, though she found it hard to concentrate any further than that. She was so drawn in by Lapis’ face as she laughed that it was hard to concentrate on much of anything other than how absolutely beautiful her roommate was when she was happy.

 

Peridot had known that Lapis was conventionally attractive before. That much was undeniable. But when that perpetual frown finally disappeared…Peridot’s vast expanse of knowledge in the realms of science and technology had never prepared her for _this_.

 

Peridot shook her head, slowly, as if to rid herself of her daze. Then, with a jolt, she remembered why she’d been so annoyed with Lapis to begin with.

 

“You!” she cried, pointing at Lapis, her finger only inches from the other girl’s nose. Slowly, actual tears leaking from the corners of her eyes, Lapis looked up, eying the girl’s finger before meeting her gaze with a dubious expression. “You’ve been staring at me!”

 

Lapis cocked an eyebrow. Then, quicker than Peridot could move, she’d wrapped her hand around Peridot’s pointer finger and moved it out of her face. “So?”

 

Peridot blinked. She’d been expecting some form of denial. “So…so it’s annoying,” she stuttered half-heartedly. “So stop it.”

 

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she replied, now fully back to her deadpan default.

 

There was a moment of silence as Peridot found herself mourning the loss of that brief, radiant expression. Then Peridot’s curiosity got the better of her, and also gave her an excuse to stop thinking about how pretty Lapis was when she smiled (even if it was at Peridot’s expense, something the blonde usually couldn’t stand).

 

“Why were you?” she asked, bluntly.

 

“Why was I what?” Lapis asked. The question was voiced in her usual monotone, but there was just a hint of amusement behind it this time.

 

“ _Nyagh_!” Peridot growled in frustration. “Why were you staring at me?”

 

“Oh, that,” Lapis replied in a bored tone. “I was just trying to figure out what’s going on with all…that.” She gesticulated to Peridot’s hair, which was only slightly tamed by a barrette on top of her head that pulled her bangs back from her face.

 

Amethyst snorted into her burger, and Peridot growled again in annoyance at the constant trolling. She did instinctively reach up to give a half-hearted stab at flattening her messy blonde hair. Then she caught Lapis watching her, eyebrows raised, the tracest hint of a smirk playing across thin lips, and instantly jerked her hand away from her hair, flushing like a tomato.

 

It wasn’t until Peridot realized she was going to be late to her calculus course (“The nerd,” Amethyst snorted) and scrambled out of the dining hall without a backwards glance that Amethyst turned to Lapis with a raised eyebrow.

 

“What were you really staring at her for?” she asked, point blank.

 

If Lapis was surprised by the question, she didn’t show it. Her eyes followed Peridot’s awkward movements for a moment before she turned back to the table and shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said after a moment. “She was just acting kind of…” Lapis broke off, and Amethyst could have sworn she saw the tiniest hint of a blush on her lightly tan cheeks. “Never mind.”

 

Amethyst’s other eyebrow joined the first, but she didn’t press the issue, and Lapis stood up and tossed her bookbag over her shoulder, leaving for class herself a few minutes later.

 

Amethyst rolled her eyes after the two. If her eyes weren’t deceiving her, even awkward, nerdy Peridot could be growing on her too-cool-for-school roommate. And here Amethyst couldn’t even hold a proper conversation with some nerdy girl she’d known for seven years. Granted, she’d been stupidly in love with her for pretty much _all_ of that time, but there had been a time when she’d been able to talk to Pearl like a normal human being. When she’d been able to make Pearl laugh (always behind her hand, because that’s just how Pearl was, the nerd) with some dorky joke and squawk with a dirty one, just because she loved to watch all those little, incredibly expressive quirks playing out over her delicate features.

 

When Amethyst herself picked up her tray and dumped it on her way to class, she did so with a new resolve. She’d known for years that she had no chance with Pearl romantically—nothing had changed in that respect. If the only way she could have Pearl in her life was platonically…well, three years without her had taught Amethyst that friendship was better than animosity, or worse, nothing at all.

 

Besides, she was at university now. There were always more fish in the sea, and at one of the largest universities in the United States, the sea was bigger than ever before. There had to be _someone_ here who could make that sick, yet pleasurable ache that pulled at her chest whenever Pearl got too close go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. Blue Pearl’s surname is cringeworthy. My online name-meanings searching was for naught this time around, so, yeah. I know Violet is kind of more purplish blue, but I liked the name more than the original I picked (Alice). I also like the idea of Blue Pearl being a bit of a troll to Yellow Pearl, so that’s where I’m going with her, at least at this point, haha.
> 
> I’m so, so, so sorry for the delay. I lost all motivation and traction for a few months there. I just hope I haven’t lost all my readers as well. You guys are so great, and I am SO sorry for making you wait so long!
> 
> Also. Just a tiny, itsy bitsy little rant that I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a while. So we have a lot of butch/femme dynamic representation in Steven Universe, right? I mean, this is obviously simplifying it but yeah. With the new episodes, we have another permanent fusion (I can’t even tell what all Flourite is made of, so I won’t go there), which is, I believe, a Pearl and a Ruby. We have a Sapphire and a Ruby. In canon. What we don’t have is ANY representation of femme/femme pairings or I guess just two…average woman-type women (I’m so sorry if I’m being offensive, it’s hard to describe, I’m trying to say basically women who are not super femme or butch) together. I’m a fairly feminine woman who is mostly attracted to regular-level feminine women (high femmes kind of annoy me, I was bullied by several of them in high school, sorry. I just don’t have any decent experiences with them), and while I don’t wanna be ANOTHER whiner about not getting properly represented, I guess it’d be nice to see some…wish fulfillment? I mean even if Lapis and Peridot would fuse. I know a lot of people see Peridot more on the butch side, but I think with her personality that Lapis would end up being the more butch partner of the two, and she’s pretty feminine so I’d be happy with that. ANYWAY. I’m not dissing on ANYONE or ANY of the shows pairings. I just wish that I could see a pairing that I identified with. Maybe that’s why I like Amethyst/Pearl and Lapidot. I don’t know. It just feels like for being so progressive, Steven Universe sure likes to stick to its’ in-community norms (I guess people see butch/femme as the norm). It’d probably be different if I had a girlfriend. But I’m socially retarded and plain looking at best so…this is my VICARIOUS LIFESTYLE, people! But…sigh. It probably won’t happen. We even kind of got a butch/butch thing with the Topaz’, although she was more girly in personality... But no femme/femme or anything similar. Closest I think is Lapidot. And who knows where that’s going, they don’t get a lot of screentime.


	11. closer, closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they grow closer, lines once sharp and defined grow barely, almost imperceptibly blurred.
> 
> VERY IMPORTANT A/N: I've gone back and changed 'Alice' (Blue Pearl) to 'Violet'. I liked the name better, I think it suits her personality and appearance a bit more. So that's what she'll be referred to from now on- just so nobody is confused! Now please enjoy this chapter! :D

“Pearl.”

Amethyst blinked at the sight of the tall dancer in her doorway, eyes flitting around the room, no doubt bemoaning the relative lack of cleanliness (though if it weren’t for Sadie, it would be a lot less clean than it _was_ ). At the sound of her voice, Pearl’s entire demeanor seemed to brighten, and she beamed down at Amethyst.

The Latina found herself flushing and turning slightly away from the dazzling sight in front of her. Besides making her heart beat far too quickly to be healthy, it made her feel a little guilty. Pearl was so goddamn _happy_ at simply having Amethyst _talk_ to her—how much had Amethyst’s (in Pearl’s eyes, completely sudden) hostility actually hurt her?

“Oh, hello, Amethyst!” Pearl replied, stepping past Amethyst into the room, before turning to face the chubby Latina again. “I was in the area, and I was wondering if you’d perhaps like to spend the day with me?” Here, her words sped up slightly and her hands began to fiddle with the straps of her purse, as though she were nervous. “You know…a girls’ day? We could go to that cute little café by the Boardwalk, and to the mall—I’ve been meaning to pick up some new supplies for my research,” here Amethyst gave an affectionate eyeroll, though Pearl, still stammering, didn’t seem to notice, “and we could even stop by that place that you like, with the wrestling, if you want…” She trailed off, her eyes finally refocusing on Amethyst’s as she watched her, looking hesitantly hopeful.

Amethyst was immediately struck by a nearly crippling wave of fondness for the tall dancer in front of her, who was so nervous about just asking Amethyst to hang out with her. She was suddenly, achingly reminded of one of the reasons she’d fallen so hard and so irrevocably for Pearl to begin with—Pearl just _cared_ so much, so _genuinely_ , even if it wasn’t (could never be) in the way Amethyst wished it was.

Then, a second later, Amethyst was struck by a crushing wave of disappointment. “I can’t,” she said glumly, her face falling, though she was positive it was nothing compared to Pearl’s own change in expression. The hesitantly hopeful expression had fallen from her face, to be replaced by a muted sort of resignation, as if she was trying very hard not to show her disappointment.

“Oh…I—I see,” Pearl said, in an attempt at a casual tone, as one of her slender hands went up to fiddle reflexively with her already perfect hair. “Well, that’s alright,” she continued, attempting a cheerful tone. “I was just passing by and the idea just struck me—it’s not like I planned the day out or anything!” Here Pearl gave a feeble, nervous laugh that told Amethyst quite clearly that she had done exactly that. “I’ll just go and meet up with Garnet, I think,” she continued, starting out of the room.

“P, I really wish I could—”

“Oh, no, think nothing of it!” Pearl cut her off, unnecessarily cheerful, waving a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Out of curiosity, what are you busy with today?”

“Oh, um, I’ve got plans to hang out with a friend,” Amethyst replied, scratching the back of her head.

She was completely dumbfounded when Pearl’s expression, which had, up to that point, been a feeble attempt at cheerfulness, seemed to sour exponentially.

“Let me guess,” Pearl said, her tone suddenly and unusually hostile. “Going to ‘hang out’,” she _actually_ used air quotes, Amethyst noted, because she’s _Pearl_ , “with that…onion woman again?”

“Her name’s Vidalia,” Amethyst replied, her annoyance at Pearl’s attitude quickly outweighing her significant confusion. “And, uh, that’s what friends do, you know.”

Pearl bristled. “ _I_ wasn’t the one who chose not to be friends, _Amethyst_ —”

“Yeah, we all know what _you_ chose,” Amethyst cut her off, speaking loudly to drown Pearl’s words. Pearl flinched back, as if slapped, looking painfully like a puppy who’d been punished for something it didn’t remember doing. Amethyst, catching her mistake, flushed darkly and glared down at the floor. “Whatever, Pearl,” she said quickly, covering the silence before Pearl could think too much about what she’d said. “I didn’t start this argument—hell, I don’t even _want_ to argue with you right now. I don’t know what your problem is all of a sudden, but V’s my friend, and—”

Pearl gave a high, cold laugh, and Amethyst’s chin snapped up, raising her gaze in a defensive manner. “ _V_?” Pearl asked, her voice an octave higher than usual. “That’s awfully familiar.” Then, in an infuriatingly condescending tone, “Isn’t she just a little _old_ for you, Amethyst?”

Amethyst’s eyes narrowed and she pulled back in confusion. “ _What_?” she asked, genuinely perplexed. “What the fuck is that even supposed to _mean_?”

Pearl shrugged, gaze not on Amethyst, but on the wall behind her. “I just mean that, well, you’ve always been a bit…rebellious,” she began casually, though her rigid posture and folded arms told another story entirely, “but I thought you had _some_ standards, at least.”

It took Amethyst a long moment to get it (hey, perception was never her strong suit), but when she did, she did a double take. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” she practically screamed. “You think I’m _fucking_ her?”

Pearl stiffened, if possible, even more, and her cheeks flushed a color similar to her hair, but she said nothing, just clenched her jaw. For a split second, the motion drew Amethyst’s eyes like a laser beam, but she forced herself to look away. Now was not the time for admiring Pearl’s bone structure.

Amethyst raked her hands through her hair furiously, nearly tearing out several large chunks. She could not _believe_ this. “I can’t fucking _believe_ you,” she snapped, her voice slightly less loud but no less biting as her dark eyes bore into Pearl’s profile. “How could you think, just because I hang out with someone…and even if I _were_ fucking her, what the _fuck_ gives _you_ the right to say _anything_ about it?!”

At this, Pearl’s head whipped around so that their gazes met, her teal blue eyes filled with a mixture of pride, stubbornness and indignation that Amethyst knew very well. What surprised her was that there were some other things swimming around in there, something familiar and something she’d never seen directed her way before, at least not by Pearl. “I have _every_ right,” Pearl snapped, “if it effects the wellbeing of someone I care about.”

Amethyst’s heart gave a small leap at this, but she refused to stand down, her stubbornness taking precedence. “And that includes making wild assumptions?” she volleyed back. “I don’t even know where the fuck you got the idea that me and Vidalia were…you know.” Her cheeks darkened at the very thought. Vidalia was old enough to be her _mother_ , and she _was_ Sour Cream’s mom.

Pearl huffed primly. “Well,” she began, her tone both self-righteous and a little…embarrassed? “It’s just that the two of you have been spending so much _time_ together recently, and I am simply…concerned…for your…wellbeing.”

A thought crossed Amethyst’s mind like and hit her with the force of a freight train. She could hardly bring herself to say it, but given that Pearl had already put herself in an embarrassing situation, she steadied her racing heart enough to ask the question that her mind was screaming at her to ask.

“P,” she said, hesitantly, slipping back to the affectionate nickname, “you’re not, like, _jealous_ , or something, are you?” It was said with an air of disbelief and amusement, like she was half convinced that she had it wrong.

                But as soon as the words escaped her lips, Pearl’s blush became luminescent, her jaw tightened along with her arms, folded protectively below her (just slightly puffed) chest, and she suddenly didn’t want to meet Amethyst’s eyes anymore.

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?”

“Amethyst, _please_ ,” Pearl snapped. “Is all this foul language really necessary?”

“Seriously, though? For real? You’re _actually_ jealous of me hanging with Vidalia?”

“Of course not,” Pearl replied, instantaneously, but she still wouldn’t meet Amethyst’s eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Amethyst.”

Amethyst raised her eyebrows. “Ridiculous?” she asks. “You take me saying I have plans with a friend and turn it into me having some kind of sordid, forbidden romance and _I’m_ ridiculous?”

“Sordid? That’s a rather advanced word for you, Amethyst,” Pearl replied, though there was no real bite behind her words. She stalked over to the cheap sofa and sat primly, hands folded in her lap, back turned to Amethyst.

“Don’t change the subject, P,” Amethyst said, a smirk beginning to grow on her features as she walked over and dropped onto the sofa beside Pearl. They make a stark contrast; thin, graceful Pearl sitting like she had a metal pole rammed up her spine and chubby, carefree Amethyst slouched next to her grinning like the Cheshire cat. “You were _jealous_.”

“I was not.”

“Were too.”

“I was _not_.”

“Yes, you were~”

Pearl scoffed in annoyance, as if declaring the entire conversation beneath her. There was a surprisingly comfortable silence between the two for a moment as Amethyst absentmindedly picked at a loose thread on the sofa. And then…

“Maybe…I was a _little_ bit…jealous,” Pearl conceded quietly, almost too much so for Amethyst to hear if she hadn’t been so well tuned to Pearl’s voice, her fingers twisting themselves into veritable knots in her lap. Amethyst blinked and raises her head. She hadn’t _actually_ expected Pearl to admit anything; hell, part of her had still been convinced she’d imagined it.

“It’s just that things are so… _difficult_ between us. I really _do_ care about you, Amethyst,” she said, finally turning to face Amethyst again, and, without warning, taking Amethyst’s hand in her own and squeezing. Amethyst tried in vain to steady her heartbeat, knowing that Pearl meant it in an entirely platonic way. “And I want to be a part of your life and you to be a part of mine, but it’s so hard to get back to the point we were once at and…and especially when I don’t even know _why_ we lost that to begin with…” Her eyes were wet now, and she looked so incredibly hurt and confused in that moment that Amethyst glanced away, swallowing hard. The temptation to just buckle and fall apart in Pearl’s arms and tell Pearl _everything_ in that moment was almost too much to bear.

Almost.

“…and then you spend so much time with this woman, and you _want_ to spend time with her, and I don’t know what she’s doing right that I’m doing wrong, but it just…” Pearl ran a hand quickly through her hair, then immediately had to fix it. “It just makes me so…so _jealous_ , that you like her so much, that you obviously find her so much cooler than me, so much more _fun_ than me, that—”

“P,” Amethyst interrupted, because Pearl’s voice was starting to break now. She felt an odd combination of pleasure, guilt and disappointment. Pleasure, because Pearl was _jealous_ over _her_ , and guilt because it was clearly upsetting her to the point where she was floundering like this. And disappointment…well, that was obvious. Because Pearl’s jealousy was platonic (as close to it as jealousy can go), a friend’s jealousy.

_But you always knew she’d never love you back. Why would she?_

“Pearl,” she said, forcibly blocking the voice from her thoughts, “you don’t have to be jealous.”

She felt Pearl’s hand tighten around her own and felt stupid for not having seen it coming. Pearl had _always_ been the jealous type—that was part of what had made it so hard for Amethyst with the whole ‘Rose _Quartz’_ thing. Listening to the girl you’re in love with stew in jealousy over the woman she’s in love with isn’t the most pleasant experience.

“I don’t like her more than you,” that was an understatement if she’d ever spoken one, “and while I’m not gonna argue that she is _significantly_ cooler than you…”

Pearl huffed and rolled her eyes, but her posture had softened and she no longer looked like she might cry. Which was good, because for how feminine Pearl acted, Amethyst had only ever seen her cry that one time, and that had been from afar, and Amethyst had been far too preoccupied with her own heart breaking in her chest to spare a thought for Pearl’s tears. She wasn’t sure she could handle that today, without the benefit of Rose Quartz standing around like a giant, beautiful twat swat.

“—she isn’t _you_ , P,” Amethyst finished, and then flinched at her own corniness and instantly tried to correct it. “I mean, you’re a huge nerd—you _like_ homework, for fuck’s sake—and you’re kind of a total mom, but…I like hanging out with you because you’re _you_ , not because you’re cool or fun or anything.” Amethyst flushed. That hadn’t helped much.

On the other hand, Pearl, being Pearl, absolutely loved it and gave a huge sniffle before leaning over and, without so much as a warning, gathering Amethyst into the tightest embrace she’d ever experienced. There was some serious muscle in those skinny arms, she noted, feeling her cheeks flush slightly, though not from embarrassment this time around.

“Still, you know, if you could keep from implying I’m cougar-bait the next time you’re feeling a little jelly, you know…I’d appreciate it,” Amethyst remarks when Pearl finally lets her go.             

Pearl rolled her eyes and flicked Amethyst on the cheek, causing the latter to yelp (more in surprise than pain), only to lean over an instant later and press a kiss to the spot.

Amethyst froze, her heart pounding like it was trying to bust free of her ribcage as Pearl fondly tucked a stray curl behind her ear, completely unaware of the effect she’d had on Amethyst. When she was satisfied, she pulled back with a pleased hum and stood, running her fingers down Amethyst’s arm affectionately as she did so.

It was a minute before Amethyst regained the ability to function, and when she did, Pearl was already standing to leave.

Just before she reached the door, Amethyst leaned over the back of the couch. “By the way,” she said, causing Pearl to turn on the spot, hand curled subconsciously in front of her chest, “it’s not Vidalia.”

“W-what?” Pearl frowned in confusion.

Amethyst grinned roguishly. “The friend I’m chilling with today. It’s not Vidalia.”

Pearl’s face went pink.

* * *

 

“So, yeah, that’s about it,” Amethyst recounted, folding her arms behind her head. “I don’t know man, I’m like, dying over here.”

Peridot frowned, glancing at Amethyst from her desk. “You seem to be in perfect health,” she remarked, looking Amethyst up and down before flushing slightly and turning back to her homework. Amethyst snorted.

She was laid out on Peridot’s bed, having just recounted the whole scene to the messy-haired blonde, as well as, indirectly, Lapis Lazuli, who was sprawled lazily across the opposite bed.

“Sounds like she wants your ass,” the blue-haired girl commented blandly.

Peridot rolled her eyes, while Amethyst let out a self-deprecating laugh. It did not, however, stop her cheeks from darkening slightly.

“As nice an ass as it is,” Amethyst replied, “it’s not exactly Pearl’s thing, if you get what I mean.”

Lapis turned her head slightly, raising an eyebrow as a gesture for Amethyst to continued. Amethyst sighed heavily and turned to stare back up at the ceiling.

“She’s into the big girls,” Amethyst explained dryly. “And not just this way.” She gestured to her own chubby figure. “This chick she’s so hung up over…let’s just say the only way I could be any more different from her would be if I lost about fifty pounds.”

A scoff came from the desk beside Amethyst, and both girls turned to look at the girl in the chair. “That’s her loss,” Peridot said decisively. Amethyst chuckled and reached out to ruffle Peridot’s hair, causing the small girl to let out a stream of interesting sounds. Across the room, Lapis’ brows furrowed, the frown just barely there as her eyes traveled between the two, but she said nothing.

“Who knew you were such a charmer, Peridactyl?” Amethyst replied as she pulled away from Peridot, who grumbled and fixed her hair, red staining her freckled cheeks. “Bet you’ve got hoes all lining up for you, huh?”

Peridot scoffed again, though her blush grew darker. “I don’t have time for such nonsense,” she muttered, eyes returning to her textbook, though they remained unmoving as she stared at the page in front of her.

“It’s not nonsense,” Amethyst jibed. Her gaze fell on Lapis, who was watching with a bored expression, eyebrows raised. “Right, Lazuli?”

Lapis shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat,” she replied. “Though I think some people might be more tolerable if they got laid once in a while.” Deep blue eyes glanced at Peridot, who, judging by the way her pencil lead had just snapped against her paper, had gotten the implication just fine.

Peridot muttered something under her breath.

“Hmm?” Lapis hummed, leaning forward, her slender body twisting so that she could look at Peridot head-on. “What was that?”

“I _said_ , ‘and maybe some people should spend a little _less_ time on that’,” Peridot replied, louder this time, though her eyes didn’t move from her textbook. Amethyst saw that they were harder than usual, though, reminding her more of the stone she was named for than the usual awkward but determined green.

For a moment, Lapis’ eyes darkened. Then her smirk was back as if it had never left.

“Fair enough,” she said, shrugging. Then, without warning, she leaned all the way over her own desk to slam Peridot’s textbook shut. Peridot gave a start at the sharp noise.

“Hey, I was working on that!”

Lapis rolled her eyes and tossed an Xbox controller to Amethyst, and then another to Peridot, while keeping one for herself. “Yeah, and it’s Saturday evening,” she said dryly, “and we’re college students. So now we’re gonna play GTA.”

Amethyst whooped while Peridot huffed, folding her arms over her chest. “And if I refuse?” she challenged, though her eyes flitted longingly to the television at the end of her bed.

“I’ll change your gamertag to ‘Lapis’Bitch’,” Lapis replied, without hesitation.

Peridot nearly shrieked in indignation. “Those cost ten dollars to change!”

“Then I guess you better play, hadn’t you?” Lapis replied nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow at her roommate. Then she hopped off her bed and joined Amethyst on Peridot’s bed.

Grumbling under her breath, Peridot grabbed the controller. “Where am I supposed to sit, then?” she asked, somewhat petulantly, looking between the two girls, who weren’t making the slightest effort to consolidate themselves.

“You can sit in my lap, P-dot!” Amethyst replied, slapping her thighs.

Peridot flushed about five different shades of red and mumbled something about chairs being better for your posture anyway, turning back to the wooden desk chair.

“ _Nyeh?_!”

Peridot let out a noise of surprise as Amethyst spun around and grabbed her by the sides before she could sit down, effortlessly pulling her up and settling her between her legs.

“See? No problem!” Amethyst stated as she settled back against the pillows, pulling Peridot, wide-eyed and crimson-faced, along with her. Lapis glanced at the two with a slightly raised eyebrow before turning back to the screen. “Now let’s get this shit _started_!”

* * *

Two hours later, the girls were watching a movie on Netflix. Amethyst had somehow come up with a couple beers, and while Peridot had refused, Lapis had taken one, and the entire atmosphere was quite comfortable.

Lapis blinked as a warm weight fell heavily on her shoulder. Glancing down, she was met with a sight so adorable that even she had a hard time not reacting. Peridot had evidently fallen asleep, exhausted from all the schoolwork and teasing, and her head had fallen onto Lapis’ shoulder, mouth slightly open as she breathed softly onto Lapis’ skin.

Lapis stared at her sleeping roommate for a long moment before seeming to reach a conclusion. She turned away, her eyes fixed almost stubbornly on the movie, not pushing the girl off, but steadfastly ignoring her. Still, she did raise her head and tilt it just slightly to the right, so subtly that an onlooker wouldn’t have noticed, exposing more of her neck and shoulder. Unconsciously, Peridot quickly took advantage of the extra space and settled her head into the crook of Lapis’ neck.

With the flickering, inconsistent light cast by the television, it couldn’t be certain, but Lapis’ cheeks seemed just a shade darker than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad to see that my impromptu hiatus hasn't lost me all of my readers! You guys are seriously awesome!!
> 
> Anyway, this is a chapter I enjoyed writing- I'm starting to get to the point where I'm having fun with this, having set up most of the awkward story-building stuff already. I hope it's not to soon to be posting this chapter (in terms of progress in the work)! It's difficult to build the relationship between Lapis and Peridot- obviously, they're not at the level they are in the show, but I feel like they're slowly getting there. I also feel like it's a little blurred- I'm building two different relationships at once in a way. I feel like on the show they're kind of straddling friends and more-than, if you get what I mean. That's kind of what I'm trying to go with here. I hope I'm not interfering with your own impressions of their relationship by sharing what I'm trying for- please do leave me your own opinions, don't let my paranoia alter your experience!
> 
> As for Pearl...I know it seems like an overreaction from her. But that's what she does. She overreacts and gets nasty and petty when she's jealous. And she's a VERY jealous person. It's one of the things I love about her- I love how flawed she is despite being so pretty and intelligent and such a perfectionist. I REALLY tried hard to keep her in character here- it was difficult, trying to figure out what was too too far, and what was too far but totally in character for Pearl. So please leave me your thoughts! Little time skip here, obviously- if it's not apparent by now, I don't really have specific intervals between chapters, just that it's all fairly close together. Obviously by this point Amethyst has been going to see Vidalia more. I hope my timeline isn't annoying or troubling anyone with their enjoyment of the story! D:
> 
> That said, I really hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing :) Please leave comments/reviews- I know I've said it a WHOLE lot, but it is incredibly motivating, and I always get really excited seeing a new one! It makes my day! :D


	12. paranoia and pizzerias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst pisses off a teacher, plans are made in pizzerias, and Dean Diamond acts suspicious. Basically, all is normal. Also, the author keeps forgetting to format as she writes, so has to spend forever deleting indents and adding spaces as per usual.

As usual, the next day found Amethyst miles away from her college algebra class, though only figuratively for once (for which she felt she deserved some sort of recognition for meeting the professor halfway, but this was unlikely—college professors, she quickly learned, for the most part didn’t care whether you attended or not).

She was thinking about Pearl (of course). If truth be told, she’d been saved by her plans with Peridot yesterday.

It wasn’t that she didn’t _want_ to spend time with Pearl (even if it was merely to be relegated to Official Bag Carrier while Pearl flitted about from preppy store to preppy store in the mall). It was more that she wasn’t sure _how_. All the other times they’d spent time together had either been in relatively safe areas (i.e. tutoring in the library) or, more recently, surrounded by other friends. While Amethyst was fairly confident in being able to keep Pearl off trail of her true feelings (because Pearl was remarkably dense when it came to those things, courtesy, Amethyst was sure, of her lingering, all-consuming infatuation with Rose Quartz), she wasn’t entirely sure how to _act_ when left alone with Pearl. Amethyst wasn’t usually one to be lacking in things to talk about, but around Pearl for any extended period of time, her mind seemed to go completely numb.

Maybe, in a way, one of the things she was most anxious about, so much so that she hadn’t consciously addressed it for fear of the feelings that would ensue, when it came to spending time one-on-one with Pearl was the inevitable talk of Rose Quartz. Amethyst had never had any trouble getting along with people, and as much as Rose Quartz was a (n infuriatingly) nice person, even thinking her name made a knot of irrational bitterness form in her chest.

It wasn’t as if Pearl talked ceaselessly about her—surely, she would have done so by now if that was still so—but when the topic was inevitably breached, Amethyst had valid reason to expect it to continue for no less than two hours.

Could she handle that?

She’d been able to, once.

But it’s often the case that people get so used to feeling things (emptiness, loneliness, etc.) for so long, and then when things get better and they don’t have to deal with them anymore, when the feelings return it’s absolutely crushing because they don’t know how to grin and bear it anymore.

Would that happen to Amethyst, too?

Could she do it again, for the sake of being (true) friends with Pearl?

She certainly wouldn’t be able to worm her way out of spending one-on-one time with her forever—she knew, without a shred of a doubt, that now the subject had been broached, Pearl would be on her to go through with a similar ‘girls’ day’ until Amethyst caved.

(Amethyst hadn’t had a chance to really dwell on it at the time, but the fact that Pearl had called it a ‘girls’ day’ to begin with was hilariously adorable in and of itself. She was like a granny. A nerdy, sexy granny.)

“Amethyst?”

Amethyst blinked. “Huh?”

Her professor, a rather owl-eyed woman with short blonde hair that was styled in a cowlick, was gazing reproachfully down at her through her monocle. “Do you have the answer?” she asked, impatiently, with the air of a person repeating themselves.

“Uh…”

Amethyst narrowed her eyes at the whiteboard in the front of the classroom, but apparently Professor Zircon was intent on teaching her a lesson and had thought to erase whatever problem had been on there beforehand. She hated teachers like that.

“Well?”

Amethyst looked up at her through annoyed eyes. This was an exercise in punishment, not a learning opportunity. “No.”

“No?” the professor asked. “No what?” But she was smirking an awful, smug little smile that told Amethyst that she knew exactly what Amethyst meant.

Amethyst sighed. “No, I do not have the answer, _Professor_ ,” she replied, loud enough for all her classmates to hear. That was what Zircon wanted, after all.

Professor Zircon smiled down at her in a patronizing manner. “A zero for participation for the day, Miss Rivera,” she said, sounding so happy about it that Amethyst kind of doubted she was actually upset at her lesson being ignored, “and pay attention in my class.” She turned and walked (rather, sauntered) back to the front of the class.

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Amethyst muttered with an eye-roll. “When you get your nose out of Dean Diamond’s cunt.”

Next to her, Lapis, who, like Amethyst, was also too stupid (or too lazy, it was hard to tell with her) to take the ridiculously advanced courses that Peridot did, snorted into her notes, earning the both of them another hard glare from Professor Zircon.

* * *

 

Ironically, given her earlier musings, after Sociology, Pearl virtually wrangled Amethyst on her way out of the huge auditorium. “Do you want to get lunch together?” she asked, in a way that told Amethyst she had very little choice in the matter. “I think Garnet gets out around this time too…”

Amethyst was both grateful and disappointed by the inclusion of Garnet. Her heart had given a near-painful thud when Pearl had grabbed her arm out of the blue, only to speed up nervously at the idea of facing alone time with Pearl so soon, and then twist in a mix of disappointment and relief at her misunderstanding. _Fuck, it’s only lunch. Get ahold of yourself._

They met Garnet by the same fountain Amethyst had run to about a month ago to avoid the very girl who was now holding onto Amethyst’s wrist as if afraid she’d make a run for it. As, according to Garnet, “school food is gross,” they wound up going to the only restaurant close enough to walk to, Fish Stew Pizza (which wasn’t much better).

After having their order taken by an always perky Kiki Pizza, the three fell into comfortable chitchat (though Garnet kept sending Amethyst knowing looks that made the Latina blush).

“So how are you liking university, Amethyst?” Garnet asked after a lull, tone as gentle and unbiased as usual. Pearl quickly turned to Amethyst as well and nodded, eyes wide and imploring.

“Eh, it’s alright,” Amethyst said, shrugging. “Too much studying though. When are the parties gonna start?”

Pearl frowned in disapproval, but Garnet smiled amusedly. “The best ones are off campus,” she replied. “Unless you like partying with a bunch of drunk, horny frat boys, that is.”

Amethyst laughed. “Who knows? If this keeps up I’m gonna be restless enough to be cool with anyone, if you get what I mean,” she joked. “Long as they’re hot.”

This earned an appalled gasp from Pearl. “ _Amethyst_!” she chided forcefully, “Surely you’re not referring to…to having _sex_ ,” here she blushed and lowered her voice, causing Amethyst to roll her eyes, “with random strangers, just because you’re _bored_?”

“I was joking, P,” Amethyst replied dryly. “And even if I wasn’t, this is college, right? I’m a freshman. That’s what I’m _supposed_ to be doing.” She winked lewdly at Pearl. Pearl, who was still looking torn between being scandalized and worried, looked as if she wanted to argue, but was interrupted as Kiki walked over with their pizza.

“One large pizza, half veggie, half pineapple and chicken ranch,” she said cheerily as she set their order down in front of them. Pearl wrinkled her nose at Amethyst’s order as she reached for a slice of the veggie half. Amethyst took three slices of the pineapple and chicken, while Garnet took a slice of each.

“Thanks, Kiki,” said Amethyst through a mouthful of pizza as Kiki slid into the chair beside her to chat. “Hey,” she added, swallowing hard before continuing, “you know any stuff to do for college students around here?”

Kiki pursed her lips. “Well, I know my sister, Sour Cream and Buck are always hitting up the raves downtown,” she began thoughtfully. “Oh, and I’ve been to a couple parties at the student apartments off campus, those are always fun. Other than that, I don’t know. There’s usually something going on at the beach, you know, a bonfire or a dance or something. I think they’re bringing out a bunch of stuff for an outdoor movie night pretty soon to celebrate back to school.”

“Hey, that actually sounds pretty awesome,” Amethyst said, eyes lighting up. “Like one of those old drive in theaters, right?”

Kiki grinned and nodded. “Yeah, exactly! Just, you know, without the cars.” She patted Amethyst on the shoulder as she stood up. “Hey, I’ve gotta go back to work, but it was good to see you guys!” She gave a little wave as she went to check on some other customers.

“See you!” Amethyst called after her, then turned back to the table. “Guys, we should totally go to that,” she said. Pearl looked dubious, but Garnet was smiling.

“You’re already having issues concentrating on school as it is,” Pearl said, frowning slightly. “I don’t think you should have any distractions—”

“What, like _fun_?” replied Amethyst, rolling her eyes. “Come _on_ , P,” she whined, leaning forward and grabbing onto Pearl’s arm as she looked pleadingly up at the tall dancer. “Come with us. Have fun for once in your life. I’ll bring Peridot and maybe Lapis—you guys should bring some friends too. We can all just hang out, it’ll be fun!”

Pearl, who had rolled her eyes at the insinuation that she didn’t have fun on a regular basis, heaved a sigh. “Well, I don’t suppose I have any choice, do I?” she asked, slightly huffily, though her cheeks were tinged with pink. Then her eyes narrowed. “But I want you to pay more attention in school, Amethyst, you know—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Amethyst said, waving her off. Pearl huffed. “Seriously, P, I’m fine. It’s not like I’m failing anything. And if I start having real trouble, I can ask Peridot to help. She’s like, super smart and shit.”

Pearl’s brow furrowed slightly. “You…you know you can always come to _me_ when you need help, right?” she asked, somewhat more hesitant than she had been about telling Amethyst off. “Just because we’re in college now, it doesn’t mean I don’t have time to help you with your schoolwork.”

 “Aww, is Pearly jealous of Peridork?” Amethyst teased in an overtly obnoxious tone. “Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite tutor~”

Pearl rolled her eyes in a long-suffering kind of way as Amethyst cackled in amusement at her own joke, but did look secretly pleased at the (albeit mocking) reassurance.

Garnet looked perfectly content to simply watch the Amethyst and Pearl as they all finished their lunch, the two going back and forth almost like they had back when they were younger.

* * *

 

In the vast administration building attached to the Crystal University campus, Dean Diamond herself was currently seated in her leather office chair, chin resting on interlaced fingers, elbows propped on her expensive oak desk. She was glaring down at an open, spiral-bound volume as if it had personally offended her. Certainly her expression was terrifying enough that it had sent Audrey, who’d popped in perkily to ask if the Dean would like some tea, scurrying back out of the office within seconds.

With an infuriated growl, Zinnia Diamond slammed the volume shut with a resounding _bang_ and, in one fluid motion, had stood and stalked out of her office.

“Dean Diamond!” yelped Audrey, leaping to her feet. “Do you need—”

“I’m going to conduct some random inspections,” Zinnia said, swiftly cutting off her secretary, whose jaw snapped shut the second the dean had begun speaking. “Cancel any meetings for the rest of today.”

“O-of course, Dean Diamond!” Audrey replied, only barely fumbling over her words in the wake of the dean’s obvious ire. A second later, Dean Diamond was out of sight, and Audrey sagged slightly from the rigid position she’d immediately assumed in front of her boss.

Deciding she should clean up while the dean was gone for a nice surprise, she clacked into Dean Diamond’s office with a cheery hum. She shivered slightly when a gust of cool air hit her the second she walked through the door. Dean Diamond always kept her office noticeably cooler than the rest of the campus, even in the winter. Audrey, in her thin, flowy outfits made more for being pretty than being functional, could never quite get used to the difference.

When she got to desk on her way to opening the blinds, she paused, looking down at the one volume that the dean had singled out from the stack Audrey had received from that infuriating campus librarian. Glancing around the room, she noticed that all the other volumes were carelessly stacked beside her desk, indicating that the dean had barely glanced at them before tossing them aside. Had she been looking for something, then?

In bold letters, the cover of the spiral-bound volume in the center of the desk read _Staff and Student Records for the Year 2009_.

Audrey stared at the book for just a few moments longer before sharply shaking her head. Whatever the dean was doing was none of her business. She would not let her curiosity overrule her professional ethics. After opening the blinds dusting off the lesser used shelves, she clicked pointedly out of the room, not touching the book that had her dean in such a temper. She would just have to cheer her up without resorting to snooping, that was all.

Back out in the main office, Audrey started a pot of the dean’s favorite lemon tea, and went back to her secretarial work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Author’s Note: I hate the C-word. Say what you will, I think it’s disgusting if nothing else. It just sounds…gross to me. However, I think that Amethyst would use it in excess, and given that I’m sure the F-word has already been tossed around in here and I did put a T-rating on this story, I tossed it in for the sake of characterization, though it physically hurt me to do so.  
> Blah blah, another nothing chapter. I hope you all aren’t bored to tears D:  
> I really wanted to go into some Lapidot development but since they are TECHNICALLY the beta couple I decided to at least properly space the chapters so I don’t do too much of one pairing and abandon the other. Plus I needed to do some super fun plot prepping xP Trust me, we WILL get to the good stuff. It’s just that for me, for it to be the very best it can be, it needs to build up to those super fun, fluffy/romantic chapters. Again, I hope you aren’t all hopelessly bored! xP  
> Fun Fact: Dean Diamond was almost Butterscotch, Yarrow and Tulipa at various points. I hope these names for Yellow Diamond, Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl aren’t all unbelievably cheesy and OC-like. I hate using OCs and making up the names in a way makes me feel like I’m kind of doing that. But I can’t very well call them just their colors in a human!AU, unfortunately. So I hope at the very least that they’re not cheesy.
> 
> As usual, pretty please leave me a review! With cherries on top? You guys are so awesome, every review means so much to me! I love it when readers take the time to go into detail and tell me what they liked or give me ideas, etc. So please let me know how I did/your thoughts! :D Hope you're all having a great 4th of July! My poor pup is already hiding from the fireworks in my room xP


	13. push and pull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an unusual chapter.

Lapis Lazuli was…reserved, to say the least.

There were very few who truly knew her and those who did, didn’t know everything. While this kept most people out, it also meant that the few it let in tended to become so tangled up in her life that they never left.

Well.

That’s what had happened with Jasper, anyway.

Lapis’ eyes flitted to the large, muscular girl in question as she angled her shot and seamlessly struck yet another ball into its proper hole. Jasper reeled back, arms in the air triumphantly as she gloated to equally muscular guys she was playing against. Lapis, for her part, remained on the sidelines, watching from one of the wooden bar chairs off to the side and nursing a bottle of Mike’s Hard that she had obtained from the rather easily seduced college student manning the bar. It had just enough alcohol to make her head a little fuzzy, which was perfect for spending any amount of time in Jasper’s company.

Vaguely, she thought back to Peridot, as the clanking of the pool cues against the balls started to become something like background noise. She remembered her messy-haired roommate had said about her being…what was it? A trophy wife, right. Deep blue eyes flitted back to her bulky, brash companion. She supposed it did look something like that, with her always just standing there like a limp noodle by Jasper’s side.

But it wasn’t as simple as all that.

Lapis still remembered the night she met Jasper. It had been at a party in her sophomore year of high school—Jasper’s senior year, she supposed—and Lapis had been more shit-faced than ever before or since. She didn’t remember the actual meeting, just that she’d woke up in the same bed with the giant of a girl the next morning with one bitch of a hangover.

Of course, if it had stayed as just that, a forgettable one-night-stand, she wouldn’t be here now.

But it hadn’t.

In Lapis’ stupid, hormone-addled state, she had put up no argument or fight when Jasper had pulled her into an empty classroom at school later that week. Or the next day after that. Or that time in the library.

And, as anyone who’s ever been in a similar situation will know, repeated fucking, even when just for the sake of fucking, will eventually lead to some sort of closeness, desired or not. There have got to be hundreds of bad romance movies about that very subject.

Whatever happened, they ended up confiding in each other more than anyone else, between pants and moans and brief cries of pleasure. Jasper had told Lapis about her family—about how her mother had left when she was only five, and how her father was a violent drunk who beat her until the day he was carted off to prison, leaving Jasper to the system. About how she had taken the first chance to be emancipated on turning sixteen, and now lived on her own in a run-down apartment on food stamps. And Lapis told Jasper about her own mother, who was obsessed with beauty and femininity and dressed Lapis up like a doll until Lapis was old enough to have a say in the matter, and who lost any and all interest in her daughter that same day.

They were both on their own, although in different ways, and at that time, it had been easier to be alone together, to find comfort and imaginings of love through the fucking.

Lapis wasn’t sure exactly when the relationship had soured, just that through their mutual codependence and dominant personalities, it had become unhealthy. But there was no simply running away from someone who knew you better than your own mother. And even when Lapis thought of leaving despite that, she thought of Jasper, who had nobody else, whose temper kept all those around her at arms’ length.

Fuck, she wished it was simple.

“Hey, Laps.”

Lapis raised her head slowly to meet a pair of topaz-colored eyes. “Jasper,” she acknowledged blandly.

“You’re spending the night with me,” Jasper replied. It was a statement, not an invitation. Lapis could tell by her tone of voice, by the stench of whiskey on her breath.

Still, she didn’t really feel like doing anything tonight. All she really wanted to do was go to sleep and not think about how fucked up all her relationships were. Plus if she was absent from the dorm again, she’d be in from yet another lecture from Peridot. For some reason, the thought of her nerdy roommate made her want to smile for an instant, before she remembered where she was.

“You can spend the night with your right hand,” Lapis said, staring defiantly back. A chorus of ‘ooohs’ echoed from the direction of the pool table, and Jasper’s eyes flashed.

“ _You’re coming with me_ ,” Jasper repeated, meaningfully, wrapping a huge hand around Lapis’ thin wrist. Lapis glanced down at her wrist expressionlessly, then flicked her eyes back up to Jasper.

“Fuck you,” she said, no inflection in her words. She didn’t need it. Jasper knew. They both did.

Jasper scoffed. “Fuck you right back, Lapis.”

* * *

 

“I think I would be a Slytherin.”

Lapis groaned as the nasally voice of her roommate penetrated through her thick comforter. Yanking the covers from her face, she shot Peridot a nasty glare. “I think you’re about to be Crucio’d if you don’t shut up and let me sleep,” she snapped.

Peridot looked wounded for a split second, filling Lapis with uncharacteristic guilt, before she puffed up with indignation. Lapis groaned internally as she opened her mouth, knowing it wasn’t likely to close for a while. “It’s not my fault you went and got drunk and…and drugged up with those people you call ‘friends’ last night,” Peridot retorted, coloring.

Lapis scoffed humorlessly. “I didn’t get ‘drugged up’,” she replied, not bothering to mask her condescending tone. “But I _am_ hungover, so if you could go and talk to your nerd friends somewhere else, that’d be great.”

“I’m on Xbox live, I have to be on my Xbox!”

Lapis pressed her thumb and forefinger hard into her eyelids, willing herself to be patient.

Nope.

Throwing the covers from her sweaty body, Lapis got to her feet, willing herself not to vomit all over herself when her head gave a sudden, sickening throb, stormed over to Peridot’s side of the room, and yanked the cord to the Xbox from the wall.

“Gah!” Peridot yelped. She then leapt to her own feet, glaring furiously at Lapis (though she did look somewhat less than threatening, given that she was more than a head shorter than her roommate). “I was about to set a new record on CoD!”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Because that actually matters,” she said sarcastically. “I told you to shut up. It’s your fault for not listening.”

Peridot’s jaw snapped open, then shut again, and for a second Lapis was sure the messy-haired blonde was going to explode. But then Peridot turned away from Lapis, yanked her laptop from its charger, and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

For a second, Lapis stared at the door in shock. Then she let out a loud groan and collapsed back onto her bed, now feeling both incredibly sick _and_ guilty.

“It was _her_ fault,” she muttered into her blankets as she squeezed her eyes shut, as if trying to reassure herself. But for some reason, the guilt remained until she fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

 “Yeah, sure, P-dot, you can chill at my place. Pearl dragged me out to do some girly shit for some reason—”

“ _Amethyst_!”

“But Sadie’s cool, she won’t mind,” Amethyst continued, ignoring Pearl. “And, look,” she added, in a slightly more gentle tone, as Peridot really did seem upset, “I’m sure Lapis didn’t mean to be such a bitch, okay?”

Peridot muttered something non-committal.

“Seriously. She’s hungover, that shit’ll put anyone in a bad mood. Just give her some time, you can hang out in my room as long as you want.”

“…wow, thanks,” Peridot finally replied, somewhat glumly, and the line went dead.

Amethyst stuffed her phone back into her pocket and turned back to Pearl, who was sitting across from her at the little table they’d claimed near an outlet store in the local mall.

“I didn’t _force_ you to come with me, you know,” Pearl said after a moment, her tone slightly huffy. Amethyst laughed.

“I know, P, I’m just messin’ with ya,” the Latina replied easily. Pearl _hadn’t_ forced her to come—she’d merely badgered Amethyst about a ‘girls’ day’ (apparently Garnet didn’t count?) for the past week until the latter had finally given in that morning. _I’d been planning on sleeping in, too_ , Amethyst thought, thinking somewhat longingly of her bed. She’d been up all night the night before, catching up with her schoolwork, which had finally amassed to a level to which she could no longer ignore it. But still, hanging out with Pearl…Amethyst didn’t mind losing sleep for that. “What do you want to do now, anyway?”

So far the two had gone to several stores, none of which Amethyst would have been caught dead in under other circumstances, where Pearl had tittered around, picking up outfits and jewelry here and there while Amethyst watched fondly from the sidelines. Pearl had tried to talk Amethyst into buying herself some new clothes, but Amethyst had taken one look at Pearl’s proposed outfit (ruffles _were_ involved) and laughed in her face. After that, Pearl had given up on trying to ‘adjust’ Amethyst’s wardrobe.

She had, however, insisted upon buying Amethyst lunch at the Panda Express, fretting all the while over Amethyst’s diet, and how she was worried that Amethyst wasn’t getting the proper nutrition now that she was on her own at college. So there they were, Amethyst eating her orange chicken while Pearl, who had gotten a salad at a different restaurant, scrolled through something on her phone. Amethyst watched Pearl as she did so, noting how her nose wrinkled adorably at something, and her eyes widened comically at another. She’d almost forgotten how fun it was to watch Pearl’s expressions. It seemed like her face was never still.

“Aha!”

Amethyst blinked as Pearl clapped her hands triumphantly. “Aha?” she repeated, smirking slightly.

“Would you like to see a movie here?” Pearl asked, without answering Amethyst’s question.

Amethyst’s mind quickly ran through the pros and cons of going to see a movie with the girl she was in love with. The movie theater was an inherently romantic place for couples, but as Pearl had absolutely no inkling of Amethyst’s feelings, it should be fairly safe…as long as there were no awkward ‘Black Swan’ moments or anything. “Uh, sure, why not.”

“Are there any movies you were wanting to see?” Pearl asked instead, though she squirmed slightly and her eyes darted to her screen. She clearly had something in mind. Amethyst’s smirk faded into a fond smile.

“Nah, nothing in particular, you choose,” she said, shrugging. Pearl seemed to light up as she leaned across the table, well into Amethyst’s personal space. She smelled like strawberries and vanilla, Amethyst noticed vaguely, before forcing herself to focus on what Pearl was showing her.

A few minutes later found them in the mall theater, awaiting a screening of Beauty and the Beast. Amethyst had rolled her eyes upon seeing what Pearl was so excited about, but hadn’t objected. Of course—it was a sappy musical about a girl who falls in love—Amethyst should have seen it coming.

Still, Emma Watson made a good Belle, and all the singing wasn’t as obnoxious as Amethyst had expected. What it did do, however, was make her eyelids grow heavier in the darkness of the movie theater. Next to Pearl, with the tall dancer’s scent making her feel unusually calm and serene, Amethyst fought her drowsiness for an admirable amount of time before it overwhelmed her, and her eyes flickered shut, her body slumping into her seat. Her last thought before she fell asleep was that the plush folding chair was more comfortable than she’d expected.

* * *

 

Pearl gave a small start as a warm weight suddenly fell onto her shoulder. Glancing around, and then down, she quickly pinpointed the culprit—Amethyst was fast asleep, and had fallen against her side in her unconsciousness.

“Oh, _really_ , Amethyst,” she murmured, even as an affectionate smile formed on her lips. Gently, she pulled her left arm out from between them, causing Amethyst to fall into her slender body. In her unconscious state, Amethyst nuzzled her head closer into the crook of Pearl’s neck and turned slightly toward her, seeking comfort in her sleep. Pearl drew her now free left arm around the younger girl’s back and rested her hand against Amethyst’s side, tapping a gentle rhythm with her long fingers.

Pearl felt a warmth seep through her that was entirely unrelated to the body now sharing its heat with her own, and she let out a contented sigh as her heart seemed to fill with contentment.

She had _missed_ this. She had missed holding Amethyst in her arms, taking care of her when she inevitably got herself hurt…she had missed being the one Amethyst turned to when she needed help or wanted reassurance. After their falling out—or, rather, Amethyst’s sudden and complete withdrawal—the summer before Pearl went off to university, she’d been afraid Amethyst would never let her so close again.

She still didn’t understand _why_ Amethyst had suddenly pulled away from her. Pearl suspected that Garnet knew, but after nearly a year of trying, she had given up getting the enigmatic girl to tell her what had happened. All Garnet had ever said was that Amethyst would “tell you when she’s ready,” which was decidedly unhelpful, given that Amethyst hadn’t even been _talking_ to Pearl at that point.

Now, Pearl wondered if Amethyst would ever tell her what happened. But it didn’t bother her as much as it used to, now that Amethyst was (slowly, but surely) letting her in again.

Pearl bent her head down and pressed a firm kiss to the mess of lavender hair that was buried in her shoulder, tightening her grip around the sleeping Amethyst’s waist.

The rest could wait.

* * *

 Amethyst woke slowly, still in the dark and for a moment confused about where she was. And then, in the middle of the Beast’s perilous showdown against Gaston, it hit her like a sledgehammer. She glanced around slowly, and realized with a jolt of embarrassment that, at some point, she had fallen onto Pearl.

That was quelled fairly quickly, however, as she felt a slight twitch at her waist and glanced down to see long fingers tapping a patternless beat against her side.

Slowly, almost afraid to look, Amethyst raised her head just slightly, and found herself pressed against Pearl’s side, her head very nearly resting against the taller girl’s chest. This proved to be too much stimulation and, her face hot, she jolted upright, causing Pearl to give a start, pressing a long-fingered hand to her chest in surprise as she looked down at Amethyst.

“I’m…really sorry about that,” Amethyst mumbled, not wanting to disturb the movie-goers around her. “I didn’t mean…I just didn’t get much sleep last night…”

In the dark of the theater, with only the flashing lights of the movie to see by, Amethyst saw Pearl’s brow furrow, and sincerely hoped the expression wasn’t born from hurt. “What are you sorry for?” she asked quietly, and, to Amethyst’s shock, slender fingers once again pressed against her waist, this time more insistently as Pearl stubbornly pulled Amethyst in again. “Don’t be ridiculous, Amethyst—you can lean on me whenever you want.”

For one of the first times in her life, Amethyst found herself utterly speechless as she sat there, face burning, body pressed against Pearl’s side.

This wasn’t fair.

Fuck it. It had _never_ been fair.

The logical side of her brain told her to pull away, to reset the boundaries that she’d put in place to protect herself. The logical part of her brain told her that this was too much, that she was going to get hurt.

But the thing about being in love is that it feels so good, so exhilarating, that even if a person knows the consequences, the initial, indescribable high is irresistible and almost impossible to prepare for.

And for that moment, Amethyst, lost in the high of being so close, of being in Pearl’s strong, protective arms, completely ignored the logical side of her brain that was screaming for her to watch her distance and cuddled closer to Pearl, who let out a happy hum in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit guys. Holy fucking shit.
> 
> Okay so totally unrelated, but I had to say something. It’s kinda hard to say without spoiling it but…I’ve been watching The Loud House recently, and if any of you do as well, you may know what I’m talking about…I just watched the episode “L is for Love”, and…I nearly cried. Like, it just was SO perfect and gave me something that NO other cartoon ever has. Without spoiling it, I think I can safely say that it has to do with bisexuality. And it just absolutely KILLED me. I know we’re dealing with some serious shit right now in America but…then we have this, and I’m like…we’re going in the right direction, guys, on the whole. I just…I’m so happy right now. I have depression and anxiety, so it’s extremely rare for me to be truly happy, but…I really, really am. (May or may not have to do with the Mike’s Hard Lemonade I just drank, but mostly not.) If you do watch the show, tell me what you thought- if not, I highly recommend you watch it. It’s actually a great cartoon. It’s got great values and it isn’t stupid like so many cartoons are these days.
> 
> ANYWAY. So I realized that trying to start out my OWN story is about ten times harder than trying to start out a fanfiction. It’s INCREDIBLY difficult. I have a lot of characterizations down already, but holy shit, it’s taking me forever just to get through writing chapter one (I’m saying this with the possibility of jinxing myself, because I always lose my muse when I reveal I’m working on something xP). Anyway, have some Pearlmethyst fluff. I'm sorry the ending is a bit forced :( And I know having Lapis reveal internally the situation with Jasper wasn't as good as a lot of other authors, but I hope you guys liked it anyway, and please remember to review as always, you guys are so awesome!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl grow closer, little by little, and Amethyst gives Peridot a bit of advice.

Amethyst dropped her books onto the wooden table with a loud thud, causing Pearl to startle and give a little shriek of shock. The ballet dancer glared up at Amethyst.

“Was that really necessary, Amethyst?”

“Ayup,” Amethyst replied, sliding into the seat across from Pearl.

Pearl sighed and rolled her eyes. She tried to go back to her reading, but Amethyst’s stare broke her concentration. Sighing again, she closed her book and looked directly at the short Latina. “Is there something that I can assist you with?” she asked.

“Well, since you asked…” Pearl rolled her eyes. “I’ve got a test coming up in Biology, and I kinda haven’t studied. Like…at all.”

“ _Amethyst_!”

“And since _someone_ got all jelly when I said I’d have Peridot help me…”

Pearl scoffed. “For heaven’s sake, Amethyst, I was not,” she raised her long, slim fingers in air quotes, “’jelly’. I was merely reminding you that just because I’m not your official tutor anymore, it doesn’t mean you can’t come to me for help with studying.”

“Jealous~” Amethyst sang under her breath. Pearl huffed loudly through her nose in frustration, and Amethyst snickered. “ _Anyway_ ,” continued the younger girl, “will you help me or not?”

“Well, I don’t suppose I have much of a choice, do I?” Pearl replied, huffily, reaching out to pull the stack of books Amethyst had dumped toward her. “My goodness, are all of these for Biology?”

“Uh, yeah?” Amethyst replied. “You know how it is. You’re not _that_ old, are ya, P?”

Pearl plucked a somewhat thinner, paperback book from the pile and held it up daintily, between her fingers, looking at Amethyst with a raised eyebrow. The title read, _Introduction to Modern Psychology: Student Workbook_.

Amethyst stared at the book for a long moment, mouth slightly open, before scoffing and waving a pudgy hand. “Aw, whatever,” she said. “That’s been in my backpack since school started, I just forgot it was in there with the others.”

“Your Sociology textbook is also in here,” Pearl replied blandly.

Amethyst groaned, throwing her head back to the ceiling. “Okay, whatever, P, it’s just whatever books were in my backpack. Can we just get started already?”

Pearl narrowed her eyes slightly at Amethyst, but sniffed and pulled the correct textbook toward her. “Yes, let’s get to work on Biology.”

“Yeah, sure, your place or mine?” Amethyst asked, biting her lip and grinning mischievously at Pearl. The older girl frowned slightly, clearly not comprehending. Amethyst groaned. “You know, _biology_? The Discovery Channel?” Pearl looked even more lost. “ _The birds and the bees_?”

Realization hit Pearl all at once, it seemed, and she flushed like a cherry tomato while Amethyst cackled at her reaction. “ _Amethyst_!” Pearl admonished, though her tone was made slightly less intimidating by her luminescent blush.

Amethyst grinned and winked at the tall dancer in response. God, she’d forgotten how fun it was to get Pearl all wound up. Still, she decided to give the taller girl a break as she fiddled with the textbook—she really _did_ need help with Biology, and didn’t want to annoy Pearl _too_ much (though Pearl loved homework so much she’d probably _still_ help Amethyst).

Pearl angled the Bio 150 textbook so that it was sideways between them, the best angle they could get sitting across from each other. It was about five minutes of cricking their necks into uncomfortable angles and Pearl attempting to read Amethyst’s homework so far while also attempting to show Amethyst what she’d done wrong, before Pearl got fed up.

“This is ridiculous, we won’t get anything done like this,” she said, abruptly. “Get over here,” she continued, patting the chair next to her impatiently.

Amethyst hesitated for a moment.

“I mean _now_ , Amethyst.”

Pearl’s voice, all seriousness and authority, left no room for argument. Amethyst shoved her things across the table and then left her seat, sliding into the one right beside Pearl.

“Oh, this is much better!” Pearl chirped, clapping her hands together.

Amethyst wasn’t so sure. The table was pretty small, so their arms were almost always brushing against each other. Add that to the fact that it was hot out that day, which meant both girls were in short sleeves (Pearl in a sleeveless beige turtleneck, Amethyst in a grape tank top), and Amethyst was in a very uncomfortable situation. Uncomfortable in an incredibly pleasant sense, but still. She could count every freckle on Pearl’s pale arm, which cast a stark contrast to her own caramel-colored appendage pressed against it, if she were so inclined (she was actually trying very hard _not_ to).

How the fuck was she supposed to study under these circumstances?

Just as she was wondering this, a sharp, purposeful clacking noise caught Amethyst’s attention, distracting her momentarily from Pearl’s unwitting wiles.

“Who’s that?” Amethyst asked.

Normally she wouldn’t have paid the woman wearing the (lemon-yellow) heels a second glance, particularly given the situation, but there was something about the way that she walked—her rigid, yet confident posture—that peaked Amethyst’s curiosity.

Pearl glanced up, following Amethyst’s gaze. Her expression soured. “That’s the dean’s secretary,” she answered in a short, clipped tone.

Amethyst raised her eyebrows, immediately picking up on the unusual levels of hostility in Pearl’s voice. “You don’t like her?”

“I didn’t say that,” Pearl replied in a stiff, professional tone, turning back to Amethyst’s messy notes that she was attempting to decipher.

“Your face did.”

“For heaven’s sake, Amethyst!” Pearl whispered sharply, having snapped her head back up at Amethyst’s persistent words. “Focus on studying, not random people who walk into the library!”

Amethyst’s brows rose still further at Pearl’s tone, but, for once choosing the wise option, she didn’t push her further. Instead she watched as the petite woman marched her way over to the front desk, where the shy head librarian sat as if expecting her, fingers intertwined politely on the desk.

The woman did seem to have a bit of smugness about her, but Amethyst didn’t think that alone could drive Pearl to dislike her so much. As petty as Amethyst was well aware that Pearl could be, disliking people for no reason was not one of her flaws. The only thing Amethyst could think of off the top of her head was if this woman had something to do with Rose Quartz…but somehow that didn’t seem likely. Amethyst knew (from various ‘inspired’ tales from a younger Pearl) that Rose Quartz _had_ attended Crystal University to get her degree, but the blonde in the heels (who was currently snipping at the librarian, who was wearing her usual lackluster expression) didn’t seem likely to be the kind of person Rose kept company with.

Still…from what Amethyst had seen (and it was more than she would have liked), only something to do with Rose Quartz could illicit such a strong, instantaneous reaction.

 _Why does it matter?_ whispered a voice in Amethyst’s head.

Amethyst frowned, slowly turning back to Pearl, who’d been so busy erasing half of what was on Amethyst’s homework that she hadn’t even noticed the latter’s lack of attention.

It _didn’t_ matter, she supposed. Just typical human masochism, being curious about unknown knowledge that would undoubtedly hurt her.

She wondered how Peridot was faring, deciding to check on the short blonde after she’d studied for a while with Pearl. That ought to take her mind off things. Peridot tended to have that effect on her.

* * *

 

Peridot, it turned out, was faring little better than Amethyst.

“So she comes out from under her blanket for the first time at one in the afternoon, just to tell me to shut up,” Peridot fumed. “I mean, who does that? Is that an accepted ‘social norm’ that I’m unaware of?”

Amethyst was lying on her stomach, leafing through a comic book while Peridot ranted to her, pacing the room as if she were trying to dig a track into the floor.

“Have you ever been hungover, P-dot?” Amethyst asked, mildly, eyes not lifting from her book. “Wait, don’t answer that.” She heard Peridot’s jaw snap shut, and smirked slightly to herself. “Basically, it’s not fun.”

Peridot let out a huff of frustration. “Well, that may be…but still!” She threw her arms into the air. “I’ve tried _everything_ to befriend Lazuli! I keep my side of the room clean—which is more than I can say for her, by the way—I offer to help her with her homework, I give her advice…and _this_! _This_ is what I get!”

Amethyst had a sneaking suspicion that what Peridot called an ‘offer to help with homework’ was probably more like simply pointing out wrong answers, and that ‘advice-giving’ was probably more akin to impromptu and inappropriate questioning/demands about Lapis’ social life. Peridot’s alien-themed décor was also…well, _something_.

But she could tell that the smaller girl was truly hurt by Lapis’ rejection, even if it was more due to Lapis’ hangover than Peridot’s behavior. Plus, from what Amethyst had seen of the way Lapis acted around Peridot, that Lapis more or less took Peridot’s awkwardness and social ineptitude with a grain of salt (or even used it for her own entertainment). So rather than address the flaws in Peridot’s logic, she raised herself to her elbows and regarded the distressed blonde who had clearly never experienced this kind of normal argument before.

“It’s not a big deal,” she said, calmly. “It’s not like she hates you or anything. I bet she didn’t even mean to hurt you.”

Peridot paused in her pacing, turning to stare at Amethyst with wide, disbelieving eyes. “She threatened to Crucio me!” she cried, little hands clenched into fists at her sides.

At this, Amethyst lost it. She fell back onto her stomach and grabbed her pillow, laughing into it so hard that her stomach felt sore. She heard Peridot grumble something indignant in the background, and wiped her eyes, sitting up and trying to control her laughter.

“Peri…I don’t think she meant that, like, _literally_ ,” Amethyst said, through her remaining giggles. “And hey, at least she didn’t threaten to Avada Kedavra you, right?”

Peridot scoffed. “Be reasonable, Amethyst.”

Amethyst stared at her for a long moment. Then she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay, I’ll ‘be reasonable’,” she replied dryly. Then she sighed and hopped down, grabbing Peridot’s shoulders in her chubby hands and feeling the girl go rigid beneath her touch. “It’s not the end of the world. She probably just had a crappy night and took it out on you without meaning to. You’ve given her time—I’m sure she won’t be mad anymore.”

Peridot looked dubious.

“Not to say you couldn’t stay here—we could hang out, get up to some…trouble…if you know what I mean.” Amethyst waggled her eyebrows lewdly and bust out laughing when Peridot flushed up to her ears.

“Actually, I think I’m good,” Peridot said, averting her gaze somewhere to the right. Amethyst grinned and reached over, thumping her on the back. Peridot stumbled slightly beneath the other girl’s strength.

“That’s the spirit, Peridactyl!” Amethyst cheered as the small blonde took a deep, chest-heaving breath and nodded determinedly.

Peridot grabbed her heavy backpack and headed for the door, Amethyst following her to the dorm entrance. “Um…for letting me stay here…” Peridot stammered bashfully, “wow, thanks.”

Amethyst grinned and grabbed Peridot, pulling her into a tight embrace that had Peridot yelping both in surprise and from the breath being knocked out of her. “I’m proud of you, Peridork,” Amethyst said, releasing her. “Now go get your girl!”

Peridot flushed even deeper than before. “She’s _not_ my— _NYAGGH_!” The blushing blonde growled in frustration before stomping off down the hallway toward her own room, leaving Amethyst snickering behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I need your guys’ help with something, and I need you to be 100% honest with me, no answering one way just because it’s what I want to hear, okay? Not that I think anyone would do that, but just in case.  
> Here’s the thing. My novel is going to be about a 19 year old. However, I feel that it definitely fits into the YA genre plot/theme/maturity wise. Unfortunately all these d-bags out there are like ‘your protag HAS to be 12-18 or it’s unrealistic and sucky’. But I am not gearing my story toward 14-year-olds. My story is meant to be geared toward college aged people, who, in my experience, are at least 100 times more likely to read something they find in the YA section with the nice-looking covers and relatively uncluttered shelves rather than something crammed in with a bunch of nameless adult novels. More than half of YA sales are attributed to adult readers (because Adult books are boring as shit). Yes, my character is TECHNICALLY an adult, but she’s not fully developed mentally or emotionally. The only difference is that she’s not going to be a high-schooler. My book isn’t even going to FOCUS on school. But if it’s shelved with Adult books just because my protag is one year older than most YA protags, I’ll miss my target audience ENTIRELY, because the people who will find it in Adult books, like my mom, who likes Nora Roberts and Ann McCaffery, aren’t going to give a shit about the problems and emotions of a 19-year-old or the themes (which are geared toward teen/college-aged readers), versus if it were shelved with YA books, where its only discrepancy would be the slightly older age of the protag. For example, my mom doesn’t want to read about LGBT characters or characters trying to sort out their emotional issues.
> 
> Here's my question: where would you expect to find this fanfic in a bookshop (obviously it’s not anything that is even close to being publish-worthy, but hypothetically speaking), given tone, writing-style, age group, themes, etc.? Obviously by now you know what I’m aiming for, but please answer honestly! Mainly writing style—do my characters think/act more like full grown adults or teenagers? (unfortunately at this point, there is no in-between, save for ‘New Adult’ books that are almost solely cheesy rom coms about the shirtless guy on the cover named Alejandro) In other words, do they seem to be fully emotionally and mentally developed, or do they seem like they’re still figuring everything out (aside from their romantic issues, lol xD).
> 
> ANYWAY, besides that little bit from me, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you thought! :)


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